To Love Someone

chapter 27

Everyone was busy, so no one noticed when the queen sneaked out of the keep. April tightened her cloak around her as she made her way down the hill towards the stream Ian had shown her. She was feeling too suffocated there, she couldn't bear to be around anyone at the moment, not even dear Judith.

She needed some time to herself, some peace, and she could get that at the stream, not the keep. They all kept looking at her like she would break or something.

Arla looked at her with understanding, Judith with pity, Marge and Karen, with sadness. And she hated it.

And Ian, that son of a bit*h! She didn't even want to think of him. He had been invading her thoughts, despite her efforts to push it away. As she descended the steep forest floor, she heard the rushing water. She walked slowly to avoid tripping.

Finally, she got to the clearing and immediately felt at ease. She dusted the snow off a boulder and sat on it, rubbing her hands together and blowing on it before tucking it into her sides as she silently stared into the stream. There were block of ice on the surface of the water.

April sighed and folded her legs beneath her using the cloak to wrap them so she had a measure of warmth. She didn't know how long she sat there staring at the water, just thinking. She needed to sort out the things she wanted to say when she finally saw him. At this point, she was seriously considering returning home to Mercia. Consequences be damned. She missed Noelle, and her father. She wanted to see them again.

She missed her home. Not this place where she played pretend with a man that didn't even acknowledge her efforts to keep their marriage together. A man that made promises he couldn't keep. A man that was used to spending hours with his paramour while she stayed bothered about his whereabouts.
Well, what did she expect, he was a pagan, she thought with a laugh. She didn't feel at home here anymore.

Yes she had made friends, and she loved Owen like her own father, but there was something missing. Something she wanted but couldn't have. Her happiness.

But there were two things blocking that. Two people.

Myrcella and Freyr, she thought grimly.

Myrcella wasn't even around, and yet, just her memory was creating problems. And then there was Freyr. Her mind was instantly taken back to the incident in the stables, and she couldn't stop the tears that flowed. He had promised not to see her again, and yet, he had run back to her the first chance her got. Just like Freyr said he would.

April sniffed and used her napkin to wipe eyes. She was so tired. So tired of fighting for a man that didn't want her, fighting to keep a marriage that didn't want to be kept. She couldn't do it anymore, she just wanted to go home. April heard rustling behind her and she tensed. Then she relaxed as she realized Alan must have followed her. At least one person cared about her safety. She shook off the snow from her cloak.

"I am fine Alan. I just came here to think. You didn't have to follow me," she said blowing into her napkin. Her nose was red from the cold and from crying.

There was silence, and then a voice she didn't recognize spoke, "he should have followed you."

Her napkin fell to the floor as she hurriedly got up. But before she could turn, something hit the back of her head hard, and she saw stars before she fell and everything became dark.

                       ******

"Where is April?" Ian asked Arla.

"I don't know. She was in her chambers the last time I saw her," Arla said with her head bowed.

Ian huffed as he walked away. He needed to talk to her. Her behavior last night was unacceptable, she needed to know that. She had been behaving strange these last few days, and it was beginning to grate on his nerves. She had been avoiding him, and he needed to know why.

He stopped in front of the door and took a deep breath to calm himself. It would do no one good to start shouting, and knowing her, she would shout right back. He opened the door, expecting to see her on the bed where she had been the last few days. She wasn't there.

Which was good and bad. Good because she had gotten over whatever it was, and bad because now he didn't know where she was. He checked the bathhouse, she wasn't there. He looked around, under the bed, even under the pillow. And he chuckled at his own stupidity. How could she possibly be there.

But seriously, where the hell was she?

Ian ran down the stairs to the hall, she was absent. The kitchen, the stables, even the shed. She wasn't anywhere, and he was beginning to panic. No one had seen her since. There was no sign or trace of her.

She was just...gone.

He was going mad with worry, he had almost killed Alan, Ryan was barely able to restrain him.

"How could she leave without you noticing!" he was shouting now at the guards manning the gate. He was about to kill someone. The doors opened and someone ran into the courtyard.

"Where is she?" Judith demanded storming towards him. "Where is she you prick?" Judith never swore, but this was an exception. He deserved worse than being called a prick. He was about speaking when she slapped him hard, and his head jerked to the side. His soldiers attempted to grab her for such a thing was a great insult to the King.

He lifted his hand to stop them as he rubbed his jaw. He really had to stop underestimating these Mercian women. He deserved the slap.

Judith held his shirt and shook him, "what the hell did you do to her?" she asked screaming, tears running down her face. Ian gently took her wrists and removed her hands from his shirts and held her close to him as she cried. He wanted to cry too, but he couldn't. He had to be strong to find her. They had searched the village, but all to no avail.

Judith sniffed and leaned away from him, "she wouldn't run away. I know she wouldn't do something like that."

Ian sighed and rubbed his hand down his face, "I won't stop searching till I find her, I promise."

Judith nodded gravely and shivered. It was cold. She didn't even want to think of what April was going through. She could only hope for it to be better.