Locked Out (Lapidot Human AU)

~ Seventeen ~

(Small TW)

"Lapis, I love you"

Peridots poV

I really messed up! This moment was supposed to be special, what was she thinking? Me and Jasper?! Thats ridiculous!
"Lapis please, just listen" I got down on one knee holding her hand. She looked at me angry but sad and lost.
It hurt me seeing her like this. Ive been nothing but distant.
"Lapis- I thought you were beautiful the first time I met you, you didnt give up on trying to talk to me, which im greatful for, I realised I loved you when we got icecream with your parents" I chuckled at the memory looking up at Lapis she looked in thought. I kissed her hand and continued.
"Lapis it really is true what I said to you, I would never leave you, especially for Jasper- Lapis-" I almost choke on my words reaching into my pocket. Lapis look at me like I had just commited murder. 'Which isnt a good look since ive seen it before'

"Lapis Garnet Lazuli- will you marry me?"

This took so much out of me. I worked so hard, Lapis' hand dropped from mine, she began to choke on tears. She hugged me tightly, crying.
"Peridot- I love you too, I love you so so much, but" She stopped talking, it was time for my heart to break.
"I can't marry you not yet at least..., I'm not ready, this is so... so soon. I'm sorry" I dropped the box on the floor standing to my feet. 'But marriage fixes everything- i cant, how do i tell lapis?...'
I looked up at Lapis, her shoulder length hair was messy and faded light blue. Her eyes were red and bloodshot.
"Peridot... please talk to me" My words wouldn't form, i opened my mouth but my speech was broken. I am damaged. (Shhh totally not a reference)
"La-Lapis- I wanted to fix things... im useless now... with out you" thoughts began to swarm my mind. Making me angry at lapis for rejecting my proposal. I began to laugh at Lapis she only stared at me in horror.
"P-peridot?" She reached down to hold me but i slapped her across the face. "Get the fuck away from me! Dont touch me!" 'What am i doing?!'
I tried to reach for lapis as she retracted her own hand.
"Peridot! What has gotten into you?!" Lapis began to pace the floor. I growl at her and stood up.
"Nothing completely wrong!just went on a killing spree for the last few days murdering people because they arent good enough! Oh yeah, my attempt never worked on myself! Im not good enough but im still fucking standing!" I yell out to lapis pushing her back into the wall, she looked petrified. Tears spilled from her eyes.
"Thats not true! Youre a good person!" She yelled pushing me back now.
'I don't want to hurt her- its like I'm watching someone control my body'
"Just- God! FUCK!" I bolted towards the door sprinting out away from Lapis.

'What am i doing?'

'Where am i going?'

'Why can't i control my own words?!'

'Its all catching up now isn't it...to watching my mum be brutally murdered and myself beaten by my father, the rejecting and insults of others- I'm not meant to be here'

I stop by a familiar Apartment. Jasper's house. I sigh heavily and head inside. I hesitantly knock the door twice before stepping away.
"Pd? What are you doing here?" Jasper frowned and brought me inside. I chuckle before bursting into laughter, then break into tears.
"Im useless! Lapis doesnt deserve me! Im not good enough! Cant you just subtract me from this stupid world?" I pull my hair and scream into my hands. Jasper had no idea how to comfort me... she took a seat next to me and smirked.
"You know.. I did have something planned... but if you want the job done sooner we can get to that part" i look up at jasper confused my eyes stung. "Oh yeah?... who are we planning to kill?" I tilt my head in confusion, she only smirks larger.
'Should i be worried?'

'Is it someone very important?'

The thought of everyone important to me filled my head.
- Mum
- Lapis
- Steven
- Ruby
- Sapphire...

"Lapis' Parents... what would they think of me running away?" I accidentally thought out loud.
Jasper laughed and punched my arm a little rough.
"You think they care? They'll probably hate you for the rest of your life after this heist"

My head spun towards Jasper.
"What do you mean?!" I sprung up meeting a dark glare with Jasper.
"You'll see~" Jasper then walked away leaving me in my thoughts.
'Shit'

----

??? PoV

I was setting up in Jaspers heist room. I knew for sure that Jasper wanted Peridot gone, but not dead gone... no Jasper wanted Peridot in prison, she wanted Lapis for herself. Except... that might not happen if the heist goes to plan.
And peridot doesn't exactly know me but Lapis sure does... in fact I'm closer to lapis than anyone knows. Such a shame i can't have her.

"Ke- keyle" Jasper muttered a fake name that was used within Gang heist room.
"Yes Jasper?" I question holding a hand sign for her entrance. She smirks evily and sat down st the table discussing a plan.
"So...we go there and make Peridot do the usual and shoot them dead- it'll and if she declines... then we'll force her too. She will be left with nothing after that. Nothing! And we will make sure she stays in prison." Jasper growls towards me and i nod vigorouslly. "Sounds perfect, Jasper, ill start to set up"
Jasper nods before exiting the room.

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Sooo, this is a short chapter I know... but I had to rewrite it last minute, I got so caught up with other things, I hope you enjoy the next few chapters!