True Blue - A Second Chance Romance (Complete)

Chapter 5

Finn slammed the door to the common room.

A head of closely cropped hair poked up from the couch and whistled in a low tone. "Dude, what did that door ever do to you?"

Despite his current mood, Finn felt his lips turn up in a smile. "Campbell! What're you doing here?" He feigned looking around the room currently occupied only by his long-time friend. "Cindi kick you out already?"

"No!" The bulky man stretched his muscled arms up over his head before dropping them down again as if in defeat. "Paperwork."

Finn and Campbell mock groaned together. Even in the military, you couldn't escape paperwork. Everything had to be detailed, documented, scanned and filed.

"I thought I'd stick around and we could watch the game." One of the only perks of being stateside was getting to watch hockey in real-time. Finn adored hockey, but for some reason, streaming the action after the fact didn't hold the same thrill as catching it live.

"Who're they playing?"

"Maple Leafs. We're going to break Toronto's winning streak tonight." Campbell assured Finn.

"Sounds good. Wanna beer?"

Without checking for confirmation, Finn pulled two dark brown bottles out of the fridge and headed back to the sitting area. Handing one to his friend, he sank into the other end of the couch and stared at the T.V.

After a good ten minutes of silence broken only by the guzzling of beer, Campbell cleared his throat. "Soooo. What crawled up your butt?"

Rolling his eyes, Finn gnawed at the inside of his cheek internally cursing the man for knowing him so well.

Barrett Campbell was more than Finn's army buddy. The bond they had extended beyond friendship and respect, saving each other's lives on numerous occasions. The tally started when they first met in basic training. Campbell had recognized a similar anger in Finn and made it his mission to ensure the cadet didn't damage himself before the enemy even had a chance to take a shot at him. Campbell said it was his way of saving himself, having someone else to look out for.

And Finn sure needed it. When he arrived at the base, he had been a mess. A hot, angry at the world mess with a hair-trigger temper and a chip on his shoulder threatening to make Atlas jealous.

Finn was well aware and grateful for the other man's guiding hand in those days. Those emotions were boiling again just underneath his skin.

"It's being here." Finn took a long sip of his beer. "This town..."

Campbell punched him in the arm. "It's only for a few weeks. You'll be back in the soup soon."

Finn swallowed. He needed to talk about it. Campbell was the best candidate. He knew the whole sordid story. Had pulled the details out of him early on – getting to the reason for his anger against the world. Had nursed him through drunken episodes when Finn begged Campbell to put him out of his misery, the pain in his heart threatening to overtake him. Had helped him carve out some semblance of normalcy, a means to get on without her.

"There's more." Campbell sat up a little. "She's here."

"Oh." Finn appreciated Campbell instantly knowing he was referring to Emily. "How do you know?"

Finn picked at the label on the bottle in his hand. "The law firm handling the case. She works for them." Campbell sucked in a breath and blew it out slowly. "I was just at their offices..."

Campbell waited for Finn to continue. Eventually he prompted Finn to talk. "Did you see her?"

"No." Finn heard the emotion in the little word.

"But you wanted to?"

"Yes," Finn whispered. Flinging his head back and closing his eyes, Finn let his frustrations at himself out. "What is wrong with me? It's been eight years. I shouldn't care. I should be over this. I wasn't good enough for her. Accept the reality and move on Wainwright. Everyone else does. But no, just sitting in the building she works in and I'm willing her to appear."

Letting out a harsh chuckle, he continued. "I even imagined at one point I heard her voice down the hall. How pathetic is that? Not even over my jet lag and I'm sucked right back - 17 again, chasing after her." Finn rubbed his chest like he could get the heaviness in his heart to move.

"There's nothing wrong with you. Maybe this could be your chance."

On the TV a woman in a red dress stepped out onto the ice, a microphone in her hand. Finn watched as she belted out the national anthem of the opposing team. Campbell's words hung in the air.

"My chance..."

"For closure." The beer in Finn's stomach threatened to come back up. He didn't want closure. He wanted Emily.

"Maybe," he hedged.

There was a pause as the crowd politely applauded the singer. Together both men stood up as The Star-Spangled Banner began to play. They stood at attention until the last note of the song petered out. Returning to the couch, Finn drained the rest of his drink.

"Another?"

Campbell held up his half-full bottle. "Can't, I'm driving."

Finn nodded, before making his way back to the fridge. Campbell had a wife and two boys to go home to. Unlike Finn who didn't have a home. The closest he got to a home was visiting his sister in Syracuse. Delora always kept a room ready for him, but he rarely made use of it. Their relationship shifted from brother and sister to more like mother and child when their parents had died.

Being the oldest and barely 18 at the time, Delora had taken on the responsibility of looking after her two baby brothers. Finn was too young to understand what she gave up for him. All he saw was people abandoning him. First, his parents at 13, then a year later when Simon left town. Eventually even Delora gave up on him.

When Delora became pregnant with her first child and married Hanson she tried to include Finn in their new lives. Feeling like an outsider, Finn pushed everyone away. His sister didn't have time for a newborn and a hormonal teenager. Left to his own devices and generally mad at the world, Finn quickly got into trouble. Often. Frustrated and overwhelmed, Delora kicked Finn out, sending him off to spend some time with Simon.

And lastly there was Emily. For the first time Finn felt someone cared for him and believed her when she said she would never let him go. They made plans for a future together. Emily made him hopeful and comfortable. He let down his guard and she poured into every fibre of his being. Then even she abandoned him.

Finn shook his head – that train of thought led to nowhere good. Taking a swig of his beer, he focused on the sensation of the cold liquid sliding down his throat. That's what they taught you in training, how to concentrate on the moment and what needed to be done, tamping down emotions.

"Earth to Finn!" Campbell was snapping his fingers in front of Finn's face.

"You're blocking my view."

As Finn swatted the hand away, the announcer shouted "He shoots, he scores!"

"Break Toronto's winning streak my ass." Finn leaned forward. "Marner's on fire."

Be in the moment, Finn reminded himself. Fixating on the here and now was what kept him alive.