The Truth In My Lies

28

MADISON

KAIDEN'S gone when I wake up.

I don't know what I was expecting, but I thought at least he would tell me bye before he went somewhere.

It's Saturday, which means I have an appointment with Dr. Jackson. I'm dreading it. I just don't feel like talking today, let alone about my feelings or thoughts or whatever else.

Still, I drag myself off the couch and into Kaiden's room. He's put most of my boxes in Andrew's room because otherwise his room would be too crowded to even walk around in.

I rummage through some of the boxes until I find something presentable to wear, then I start the shower. It smells like Kaiden's cologne in the bathroom, so I assume he hasn't been gone long.

I wash my hair and scrub my body. The hot water glides over my skin, warming me up. When I finally get out, I miss the warmth of the water. I could stay in the shower the whole day.

I wrap my towel around me and fish for my hair dryer underneath the sink. I notice Kaiden's bought a new box of condoms. He must've gotten them recently because they weren't under here a week ago. When I pull my hair dryer out, I accidentally knock the box over. The foil packets go sliding across the bathroom floor.

I can't help but notice that out of the twelve pack, only seven remain. That means he's used five of them. Kaiden and I have had sex a total of three times; once without a condom. He's only used two with me, so where did the other three go? My stomach clenches at the thought of Kaiden sleeping with someone else, then coming home to me at night.

He did it to Alyssa, why wouldn't he do it to me? I feel stupid. I hurry and put the rest of the condoms back in the box, then finish getting ready. I fight back tears the whole time and end up ruining my eyeliner, so I wipe all my makeup off and just throw my hair in a messy bun. I'll probably end up crying later anyway. What's the use in putting makeup on?

When I get to Dr. Jackson's office, she's already ready for me and waiting at her desk. Her red hair hangs loose, resembling a lion's mane. To my surprise, she's wearing jeans and a dress shirt. I don't think she's ever worn jeans before.

"Hello, Madison. Long time no see." She grins. I guess it's been a month now since I've been back.

"Yeah, but I'm finally here." I sigh and take a seat. I don't think I'll be completely honest with her today. I'll leave out the part where Kaiden works for a drug lord, killed someone yesterday, and introduced me to drugs. She'd probably admit me to a mental institution and call the police on Kaiden.

"And I'm glad you are! How has life been?" She opens her notebook and clicks her pen.

"Fine, I suppose. I don't talk to Andrew anymore, so that's been rough. I've been okay otherwise."

She flips a couple pages back and her eyes skim over the paper. "Andrew was your best friend, correct?"

"Yes, he was. He's not anymore." I clarify. I hate telling her that, mainly because I hate that it happened.

"What happened?" She asks and I want to roll my eyes. She's my therapist. She's supposed to know what's going on in my life, but I don't want to tell her.