The Truth In My Lies

38

KAIDEN

"ARE you good?" Jordan asks from the driver's side of his car. He was nice enough to drive me to my death. Just kidding, hopefully.

"No, not really." I scoff. There's no point in lying. I'd like to think I'd be okay, but really I won't be. I screwed up. Even if Marcos would decide to kill me, I'd go to hell and spend the rest of eternity being Satan's bitch.

"I don't think he'll be too mad, dude." He cuts his blinker on to turn right. I notice my butt warmer is on, so I reach forward and smack it off.

"You're full of shit." I roll my eyes. I know what happens to men who mess up on jobs. They never make it out. They don't get a second chance to mess up.

"Yeah, but so are you." He lifts the middle compartment up and grabs a pack of cigarettes. "Here, you need to calm down."

I take the pack from him and pull one out. I stopped smoking a long time ago and resorted to just smoking week or popping pills when I became stressed. I guess this is all I have at the moment.

"Thanks." I mumble and retrieve the lighter currently sitting in one of his cup holders. I bring the flame to the tip of my cancer stick, then roll down my window to let the smoke roll out.

"So, what even happened?" He asks. I knew he would eventually.

I inhale the smoke, let it fill my lungs, and exhale. "I was supposed to kill the brothers and the sister, but the sister wasn't there and I fucked up by taking Madison with me. I didn't have time to erase the cameras or wait for the sister to come home because I wanted to get her out of there. Now the sister can review the tapes and see who I am. She'll connect me to Marcos and then we will all be fucked."

Jordan nods, taking in everything I'm saying. He doesn't respond, probably because now he realizes just how fucked I am and he knows there's nothing he can say.

When we finally reach Marcos's house, I feel sick to my stomach. This could be the end for me. How cinematic.

Jordan parks the car and cuts the engine. Neither of us make any effort to move or get out. We just stare at the illuminated house.

"Do you love her?" He breaks the silence.

I think about how her hazel eyes light up when she does something she likes, like making cookies or binge watching her favorite Netflix show, or how her soft legs feel against mine when we crawl into bed. Or how she'll use my shampoo in the shower so she'll smell like me.

"Yeah." I breathe out, finally admitting something I've known for a while out loud. "Yeah, I do."

"Kaiden Delacroix loves someone other than himself. I'm stunned." Jordan chuckles.

"Yeah, shocker." I say under my breath. Once I finally gather my balls, I sigh and reach for the door handle. "It's been a good ride, Jordan. Tell Cameron I said that, will you?"

"Don't talk like that, man. Marcos will just scare you a little, then let you go home."

I'd like for that to be true.

"I've gotta go." I climb out of his car and head inside. Unlike usual, there's not a lot of cars here in the driveway. Only Rafael's. I've always been envious of Marcos's and Rafael's relationship. I used to pray that I would have a brother. I never got one. I got lucky with Cameron and Jordan though.