Thorns in the Heart

Valentine's Day

I stand in the hall for a few minutes to work up the courage to walk into the room where Kamilla and Ember were waiting for me. Strolling back into the room the door closes quietly behind me but that did not stop the two heads from snapping towards me. Both of them gave me a look as if telling me to spill the beans. The look on my face seemed to tell them what they didn't want to hear.

"Please tell me you dumped him," Ember pleads.

"Um."

"That would be a no," she groans her reply.

"I told him this was his last chance. Yeah, I'm mad at him but relationships are not about breaking up every-time that something goes wrong."

"That is true but the thing is there has to be a line of forgiveness and just being dumb. At some point they start to take advantage of the forgiveness that is being given," Kamilla states looking at me. She has this look in her eyes that tells me that she is not happy with my decision.

"I know you guys are disappointed in this decision. But there is something in me that tells me to keep holding onto this relationship. I honestly have no idea what that is but I just can't seem to let him go." It honestly doesn't make sense to me. He has put me through hell so many times. But there is also this voice inside my head that tells me I will never find anything better. No one will ever love me. But here Ash is always around. Yes he makes terrible decisions, yes he really makes me mad at times. There is just something that haunts me and it scares me that if I say goodbye to this relationship I will never find one ever again.

"You were so close to breaking it off! I know there is a lot of history between you guys but that doesn't mean that you need to stick with that. I know he is familiar, but there are so many amazing guys out there that would love you and treat you like the princess you are. You have one of the kindest hearts that I have ever seen and I hate to see this jerk pull you down." The look in Kamilla's eyes is begging me to listen to her and let Ash go. I really want to let go but something just will not let me do that.

"Thank you. I know you guys mean the best. I need to work through this with him."

"We understand,"

"No we don't," Ember interrupts.

"Okay well I understand. I have a bad feeling that this will end badly, but I want you to know that I support you and I will be here when you need me."

"You're the best. I honestly don't understand how lucky I am with the roommates that I got," I say pulling them into a hug.

**One month later**

This past month I have really noticed a difference in Ash and his behaviors. He has not messaged me too much. His controlling behavior has lessened and I can honestly say that we have been doing amazing. We talk almost every night and he has been making me laugh. Just the other night he was telling me about how he went shopping with his dad and he found this beautiful ring. He was telling me that he almost bought the ring. He has been talking about the future and I can honestly say that I am really enjoying this new side of him. He is really changing.

Today is Valentine's day and I got this package in the mail today. When I opened it there was a Valentine's Card, a huge chocolate heart, a beautiful necklace with an X for my name, and one of Ash's sweatshirts. This is what I am talking about. He knew what I would want and he sent it to me.

Kamilla and Ember are still very cautious around the Ash subject but I feel like they see some of the changes that have happened. Ember still says many terrible things about Ash but Kamilla seems to be happy because I am.

Right now Kamilla and I are at this beautiful outdoor mall. We are waiting for our movie to start. We are soaking up the sun and talking while watching children run through the fountains.