Okay but... Kinky Mike is okay. Like... I fucking HATE Mike but I'd call him daddy.
Pregnancy announcements: The party (thanks for telling me uwu) was having a reunion during Christmas and you were all catching up and shit. Everyone was shocked you guys were still together. "Yeah, and she's fucking pregnant too."
Getting caught: It was his mom. He was using the toys he bought and she came back from work early. "MICHAEL-" "MOM!" Pushing his covers over you and himself. Lmao, the only sound was the vibrator he didn't turn off or pull out. You were somewhere else tbh— "Michael you have five minutes to clean up and clean off... That. I'll be waiting at the dinner table." You already know he didn't give her HALF the stuff he has.
Asking for head: He gives you neck kisses and acts needy. "What do you want Mike?" "Head." You knew what he wanted, you wanted to tease him. "What?" E v i l Y / n
Your pet:
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This is Leo. (after Leonardo DiCaprio ofc) He's a little baby Egyptian Tort. He is your son and you love him more than anything. If you and Mike broke up the hardest part would be who gets Leo.
What kind of dad is he is: The dad who forgets to pick the kids up after school.
Who said ily first: You did. He has daddy issues and doesn't know how to express love unless you initiate it.
Anal: Hell yes. It feels so good to him and he could go for hours if it wasn't so uncomfortable for you after three minutes.
Your ship:
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Ack, Emily and Victor. (He won't admit it but you guys also stan Tiana and Naveen)
