Up against the wall

Fuck you, I want it to be autumn

Specifically, mid to late autumn, its then that my loneliness mixes with the cool forgiving air to make a blanket that acts as my only friend in that time. Sometimes the Winter reaches in, she deceptively gives me a cold and sympathetic kiss on the cheek. Even in her most invasive and frostbitten state she is more caring than almost anyone has ever been. Still, no matter how gentle and sympathetic she can be, I still fall back into him, my Autumn. He embraces me as I walk outside and makes the thoughts, I don't need fall to the ground like leaves. I wish I could love him more... but he makes everything beautifully numb, magically unfeeling before Winter comes and freezes everything over. She's only nice when she leaks into my time with Autumn; he saves me from her grip that always leaves a bruise. Sometimes I feel like Autumn loves me, although I can't really tell because he never responds. He dulls how my love for him because he knows that's the only thing that will save me from her, he gives up everything that could be ours to save me. He longs for love, I know that because he's like me in that way, always looking for the warmth that someone else might give. He gives that up to save me... I wish I could meet him. We'd sit up at a bridge, miles above everyone else, listen to music that matches the cool air and the colour of the leaves. We'd hold hands and let the world fall apart around us... just me and him, with him acting as my safety, my blanket; we'd be right in the centre of it all waiting for it to end and not giving a damn. I want to have my Autumn guide me through just us against our problems and the Winter.