It's already mid-to-late Autumn and I haven't heard Winter start her lament yet. The weather is growing cooler, but the air isn't rough on my lungs like it usually is, it's cool and refreshing; It's smooth. It's just how I wanted. Winter isn't trying to darken the sky, and Autumn isn't finding the need to dull everything. Autumn, he's here with me, he's letting me drink in the dewy morning air and telling me that this time it's going to be different, it'll be good different. We can finally dance all our problems away and he knows he doesn't need to save me this time. He doesn't need to save me this time... I can finally love him how I want because nothing is too difficult to fix, he helps me sew the world back together just the way it should be. He told me what I couldn't trust, and he was right, he told me to stop holding onto things that hurt and he helped me let go, he got people to apologise and it helped. Autumn stopped being silent for me when he showed me how to love him. He's holding me and telling me that this time it's different, and I believe him. Autumn is helping stand me up when I find myself crawling through the dark trying to find my way home and I am loving him. I am truly loving autumn; he's letting me. I don't know what he does to me, it's sobering and it's filling and it's cleansing and it's calming and it's forgiving and it's fuelling. The old Winter is nowhere to be seen, it's like autumn purged her clean. My head is filled with the browning leaves that are warming me. Everything that made me so afraid and hurt last year, it's falling away like leaves off an old branch in the evening weather. I can feel Autumns cool breath on me cheek, he leans into my ear and tells me not to worry about how long he will stay because he'll stay as long as he can and he's always going to be coming back. This is my Autumn, and my Autumn will be coming back no matter what. Just like that he doesn't need to save me because he helped me, heal me. Winter is no threat this time around because I have him, and I'm finally loving autumn right and I couldn't be happier. In the blink of an eye, this is how autumn and I ended up on our bridge, miles above anyone else listening to music that matches the cool air and the colour of the leaves. That's how we ended up holding hands and watching the world fall apart around us, just me and him. We're in the centre of it all and we couldn't give less of a damn because I can feel him around me, my safety blanket. I have my Autumn to guide me through, just us against Winter. I finally love him right, and I couldn't have it better.
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Up against the wall
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