Aphrodite's Flame

13.

A lovely Spring sun clears the sky from the thick clouds and I stretch my arms over my head. Adonis throws a leg over me, pulling me close in his embrace. He kisses every inch of skin he can reach while I laugh. These are the mornings I relish more than anything.

'How long has it been?' I murmur. 'Two days? Two years?' He has been with me since the first day of Autumn. Six months have passed already, so that leaves me only fifteen and a half years. I know this must sound like a precious time, but to me it is over in a blink of the eye. I pull him closer and kiss him hungrily, like I'm saying goodbye already.

'What do you want to do today?' he whispers close to my ear, giving me goosebumps all over.

'I need to do something today,' I whisper back. He springs to a sitting position.

'The snow is barely gone and you're leaving me already!' he cries out. Smiling, I draw circles on his abdomen with my index finger.

'Yes. But only for a couple of hours or so.'

'Then, I want to go hunting. I've been looking forward to this moment for ever!' I know he has. Adonis isn't one for sitting cooped up for months on end. His little flame was slowly shrinking and I did everything in my power to keep it burning. Sometimes it worked and it flared up a bit, but usually it died down again as well. Seeing him like this, seeing his fire light up the room, I know he needs to get out of this house. However, I think it's a bad idea to go hunting. The animals are looking for each other, they're mating and building nests. Artemis will protect them - they will protect each other at all costs.

'How about, you go fishing today? Early Spring isn't for hunting.'

'I really miss picking up my bow, though.'

'Then shoot a tree or something.' He huffs and falls down on the bed next to me again.

'What is the fun of hunting down a tree?'

'Please, Adonis?' He studies me for a moment, then sighs and nods.

'Fine. You don't want me to go hunting. Can I ask you something?'

'Always.'

'You're the goddess of Love. Do you think animals fall in love as well? Beavers maybe? Horses? Fish?' I do believe there are animals that feel a certain amount of adoration and affection for one another. They don't always act from reproductional instinct. But I am rarely actively involved. So we lie there, pondering about the possibility of animals falling in love.

***

The noon sun is already at its pique, evoking flowers and trees to blossom and celebrate life. After making love to Adonis next to the icy river, we warmed up in front of the fire place, and now I'm on my way to Demeter's cottage, where Persephone still resides during the Spring and Summer months. It is quite the walk and without my carriage and swans I would probably be on my way for the entire day before I even got there. Now, it takes me only three hours.

'Who is there?' sing-songs Demeter when I knock on the door. Her smiles fades upon opening.

'Expecting someone else?' I smile. 'You made Spring come early this year.'

'Yes. Well, now that I know she is coming today, I can just as well warm up the path my daughter has to walk.'

'What if one day she chooses not to come back Up?' Demeter looks at me darkly.

'I can just as easily freeze everything again.' I smile, and the atmosphere lightens. 'Where were you when my daughter had to fall in love with handsome Apollo?' she asks, walking into her cottage. I close the door behind me and follow her to the kitchen. Everything is so... light and clean and colourful. 

'Your daughter definitely deserved better than stupid Apollo,' I sigh. She smiles at me.

'I guess Hades isn't the worst. Do you want some tea?'

We're sitting at the table, I'm stirring my fruity tea while Demeter is going on and on about how she misses the heat of Summer when the door opens and Persephone walks in. Surprised to see me here she stops in the doorway. Demeter jumps up and wraps her daughter in a titanium hug while I get up and study them closely. I never had a mother. I wonder how they can call me goddess of Love if I can't even say I loved my mother. Although I know what it feels like, I've never done it.

'Normally we would dine together,' Demeter says, unable to cover up the sting, 'but I guess I can pull up another seat?'

'Don't bother,' I tell the mother goddess. 'I wanted to talk to Persephone for a moment. It won't take long.'

'Do you feel like going outside?' she asks me. 'We could take a walk along the river.' I nod curtly and follow her out after thanking Demeter for the tea. It is still chilly outside, but Spring has clearly begun.

'What did y-'

'What is the colour of true love?' I interrupt her. 'How does it feel? How do you know?' She smiles. I watch the flowers bloom behind her. They used to grow at my feet, but I guess I neglected them too often. I don't miss them at all.

'Aren't you the goddess of Love?' Do I really want to be honest about my feelings with Persephone? I let out a sigh.

'You seem to have found it as one of only few. Most of us don't dwell on frilly things like Love.'

'Except you.'

'Well, it is my job description.'

'To me, love is the colour of the pomegranate seed. It's bright and heavy at the same time.' I raise my brow, and her cheeks burn a hot pink. I can tell this is very personal to her. 'But you don't feel colours, do you?' I already regret coming down here.

'I guess not.'

'What is it you feel when you're with Adonis?'

'White fire, really hot, all-consuming - Look, the thing is...' I'm really going through with this. 'I told him I loved him. I've never told anyone I loved them. With every little thing that happens I feel like I am tricked. It feels unnatural. It-' I let out an aggrevated grunt. We stop at the bend of the river.

'It's something else than what you are used to. Wasn't that what you were looking for?'

'I need to know if he made any requests to you or Hades.' I blurt it out before I really know what I just asked. It's not like Adonis would ask for a favour to tie me down, right? This is all going the way it was supposed to go, right? I was looking for something and he appeared. It was perfect timing, that is all.

'No, he has not.' Relief washes over me.

'Look...' the Queen of the Underworld begins, 'maybe you wanted something so bad, you think you found it. You think you found your soulmate because you wanted to find him.' She raises a hand and turns to me when I want to interrupt her. 'Savour it. Let go of all your hesitations. You are feeling something new, enjoy it.' We walk on for a bit while I let the meaning of her words sink in.

'How was it with you and Hades?' She laughs.

'He grew on me. Some way or another I bound myself to him. I love him more than myself. However, for Hades... he always tells me he loved me the first moment he laid his eyes on me. He knew who I was and he accepted our fate well before I even knew it existed.' Her blush makes me smile.

I never hated Persephone. I have no reason to. Sure, we had our quarrels, but it has never been like the fights I had with Hera or Athena over time. I am jealous of her, though, and I don't like the feeling. I don't have a reason to be jealous of anyone.

Well before dinner time I leave the mother-daughter duo behind and hurry back to my mortal love, the words I love you already burning on my tongue.