Aphrodite's Flame

29.

'We need to talk.'

'Someone seems to be finding their way around already,' Hephaestus says before turning around. He finds me with a scowl on my face and my arms folded. He lets out a sigh and throws his hammer on a stone table.

'Why did you make the girdle? What did I ever do to you? How could you do this to me, knowing what Zeus planned on doing? What is it with you and your hate for Love?' Or me. He raises his hands as a surrender.

'Zeus told me to craft the girdle, so I did. Truthfully, I just asked him why he needed a girdle if he would just force himself on anyone anyway. He only told me who it was for when he came to pick it up.'

'If it wasn't for you and your damn hands things would've played out a whole other way. I wish I could take them away from you.' He raises an eyebrow.

'Please, tell me how you really feel,' he responds sarcastically.

'You're horrible for creating such horrible things. Your stupid face alone makes me angry. You have ruined the last year of my existence for no reason at all.' I'm prodding my finger in his chest angrily. He is making me so mad, I rant and scream, skirting along the edges of what I can ('you're a god without honor') and cannot say ('serves you right to have been thrown off the mountain').

He sits me down on a chair and leans against the table while I'm still accusing him of everything ugly until I break down and start crying. All in one breath.

Both Adonis' return and our goodbye prove to be too much for me and I can't stand it. I do love him, even if I don't know if I should or shouldn't. I hide my face in my hands, not wanting to literally face my defeat - when I feel Hephaestus' hand on my shoulder. His thumb is caressing my skin with soothing motions.

When I become aware of this skin contact, I stop crying and swallow my sorrow and anger and look up at Hephaestus. I wonder about what it would be like to be married to him, what it really would be like - and that's the exact moment he abruptly gets up. He combs his hand through his hair, not looking at me, but facing the fires.

'Can I ask you something?' I sob. I need to know if he can understand the pain I'm feeling or that he thinks I'm overreacting.

'Yeah, sure.'

'Do you ever mingle with mortalkind?' He thinks about his answer for a second.

'Yes.' He does? Confused I look at him.

'Why don't we ever talk about that in Olympia?' He glances over his shoulder before turning around.

'Have you seen me, Dee? Really seen me? Whatever you say about me doesn't change the fact I am an abomination to gods and goddesses. Athena struck both Ares and you to Earth - you both regained your life's force. I have been struck with an Olympus firebolt and I have been thrown down the whole of this mountain. Do you know how much damage it does to one's body to hit the floor with the momentum of a day of falling? I didn't die, but I will never get the full workings of my legs back. I will never be an invincible immortal again, for I have shown and proven we can be defeated.' It's not easy for him to talk about these things, I know that, but to me it seems he never really talked about it at all. He sighs and walks away from me, so I jump up and follow him to a part of the mountain I've never been. It's different from his forge - it's almost palace-like. Why don't I ever find him in here? Because he is always working for creatures that don't appreciate him.

'I have seen you,' I tell him, standing in a stone walled room with a sofa on the far end, pillows all over and a lushly set coffee table with exotic fruits laid out on it. Even being the lowest of the twelve gods seems to come with its perks. 'There really is little the matter with you except for your crippling self doubt.' He comes back at me, an angry grin pulling the corners of his mouth back. This time I don't back away. He can't intimidate me with his large frame. Not anymore.

'Is that so, Dee? It is my confidence that falters? Marrying me is supposedly your biggest fear! Oh my Zeus if any would know you were bound to Hadesdamned Hephaestus!' I raise my brow, not impressed in the slightest. Finally it's out, the very reason he has been so upset with me all this time, the reason why he hated me.

'Marriage is my biggest fear. I don't care whether it's to you or Ares or Zeus - I don't want any of you silly, vain, greedy, possessive men.' I expect him to scream at me. Instead, he lowers his shoulders.

'Then don't,' he says in a quiet voice which reminds me of velvet. 'Don't marry me.' Doubt starts to creep in. He is not listening to what I'm telling him, none of what I told him the past few months has dawned on him and his thick skull. I shake my head and turn around. Without another word I start walking away, and he lets me.

Dumb, dumb, dumb men and the silly ways their minds work. At least there's one idiotic god I can count on. There is one of them that won't disappoint me. I make my way to Sparta in my swan-driven carriage, over the deep blue sea. I love being out here, where everything is calm and peaceful. Poseidon be thanked, the waters are calm and he escorts me to the harbour safely.

Ares' villa lies on top of a hill, after a godly ascend of fifty thousand steps. It's glory and intimidation cut out in stone. It suits him.

Ares has been waiting for me. This strong, handsome warrior is standing in the door way of his Sparta palace, leaning against the wood with a smug grin on his face. 

'Please,' I tell him, 'I've had enough of everything out there. Why are men so stupid?'

'Probably because at least half their blood flow goes down instead of up. You can't blame us.' I laugh at him.

'That's definitely your curse. Let's do something fun, then.' I grab his hand and pull him with me, leading him to a place we can't be seen by his servants. He starts kissing my neck, a weak spot of mine, and I automatically wrap my arms around his neck.

'Missed you,' he tells me as his lips find my jaw and neck again.

'I missed you too.' I sigh contently as his hand cups my sex and he starts teasing me. I find his face and kiss him passionately. Nobody treats me the way he does.

Hephaestus is right. I don't need to marry him if I don't want to. I could overthrow the Olympian court if I wanted to - with Ares on my side I could.