Aphrodite's Flame

23.

It's a sweltering hot Summer. While the grass is dry and yellow, the water is refreshing. Adonis and I go swimming almost every day to wash off the clammy Summer sweat.

Today is no different. At noon I ran into the shallow water and dove into the deep end, Adonis jumped in directly behind me. We swam and played and talked and when we were all wrinkly, we climbed out to picnic in the shade of the high pines.

He has been quiet all the time he has been with me and I don't really know how to act around him anymore. Apart from our situation, something else is different, too. It's not just because he died. It's like something is missing, like we have to start over and over again every day while we're both different people than we were before. I still adore him - I still have those same feelings for him. I know he still loves me the best way he can, but he won't ever be able to get past his trauma fully. He will no longer be able to give me all his youthful love I received before.

Knowing that breaks my heart piece by piece.

So for today I planned something special. Before twilight I take his hand in mine and lead him into the woods.

'Where are we going?' he keeps asking me, but I keep saying,

'You'll see.' We walk along a curvy way, trampled flat by animals. The sun is starting to go down, so we need to hurry to get there in time.

He sees it before I can even announce it. He lets go off my hand and mouths a wow before turning around and cupping my face, kissing me passionately. There is a spot in the woods where the fireflies dance. They're magical, bright colours ranging from yellow, purple, blue and green. They come out around twilight and leave when it's darkest.

I wrap my arms around him and he lifts me up, so I can wrap my legs around him as well. I hold him close, resting my neck in the crook of his neck while we watch the fireflies.

When the darkness is taking over, he finally lets go of me and we lie down in the mossy bed of the forest. He searches for my hand and squeezes it gently.

'I wish I could lie like this forever, with you,' he whispers between kisses.

'I would like that, too.'

***

The following day he seems a lot more excited about life. We are on our way into town when he asks me,

'What is it like to you, to be immortal?' I quirk my brow as I look his way.

'You know - the way I explained it before. I'm not alive, merely existing.'

'No, no, that's not what I meant. What's it like to have seen and done it all, to see no consequences to your own actions, to never be afraid, to be all-knowing?'

'I don't know. I haven't seen and done it all, because every time something new comes into existence. All my actions have consequences - I have to tread lightly to not misstep, yet being a goddess makes me a bit arrogant, I guess. I don't care much about the lives of mortalkind.' I feel heat creeping up my neck, realising I just told my mortal love so. 'I mean -'

'It's okay,' he says with an almost invisible smile. 'What is one mortal life to your forever existence, right?'

'No, that's not it... your mortal life made all the difference to me. It made me want to be mortal myself... However, your mark on this world is like a tiny grain of rice. I am not afraid for my well-being, but I am afraid of the consequences of my actions regarding the world. I can never turn back time. Every step of my way imprints on the world. Every favour, every wager, every boredom, every decision. And Titans know I know nothing at all.'

'I have seen the Titans once,' he says with a faraway expression.

'You have!' I cry out. Maybe Adonis and I have more in common than I'd like to admit.

'Hades took me to Tartarus once. You know, as a consequence of my actions.' He snickers. 'I guess I was an annoying character growing up. He wanted to show me what punishment was like.'

'That is a cruel thing to bestow on a child.'

'Nah, it's okay. Tartarus isn't as bad as everyone says.' I look at him sideways. He should have been traumatised. His hair should've been gray from terror. Something is up with this boy - he can't be a mere mortal. Besides, no mere mortal could ever handle the love of a goddess, let alone the love of Aphrodite.