Aphrodite's Flame

19.

I've been alone in this world for seven weeks by the time Hermes and Artemis visit me. I'm sitting on the rocks on the cliffs facing the Gulf of Corinth, watching the waves roll into the white foam when they hit the rocks below.

'Why are you here?' I ask the two gods without turning around. Artemis takes a deep breath before sitting down next to me. She is treating me like a wild animal, not looking straight at me, not provoking me.

'Come home,' she says. All of the sudden I don't feel angry anymore, just drained. I don't have the energy to explain to her why I need to stay, nor do I have the energy to explain it to myself. I follow meekly - not like a flame that died to embers and ashes, but more like a woman scorned and touched by fire, burnt and hurt and willing to lash out with flicks of fire at whoever crosses me.

It is like they know.

Neither Artemis nor Hermes try to cheer me up. As soon as we get up to Olympia, they leave me be. None of the other divinities seem to be present. It is just me.

I walk along the straight path to the mosaic court. Down on the floor lie the most important scenes in our history: the war against the titans, Cronos' death... even my birth from the sea foam is depicted in tiny tiles. I'm watching our history unfold intently, like I've never seen it before. There is nothing humble or simple about our story. It's a damn glorification of everything we are and anything we stand for. The last tiles show the contest of the Golden Apple.

Of course, after that came the Trojan War, and that was really big in the mortal realm - but it wasn't big to our story. Sure, we chose sides, interfered and meddled, but we do that all the time. I wonder how different the world would be if I hadn't won it. I would never have accepted Hera or even Athena to have won it. Their anger then still ignites anger in me now. Of course I won. They couldn't blame me. All mortals eventually bow for Love. They couldn't help it even if they wanted to.

You know how we all have our own temples, or share a temple? Tragic history teaches us no one prays to Hades, King of Souls, yet everyone bows to him in the end. Even more tragic, in my humble opinion, is the number of temples in Zeus' name. I mean - is he really the god mortals look up to, pray to, go to? The god who rapes and kills and avenges himself and his ego? Is he mankind's grand example?

I feel a pair of eyes burn through the back of my head. Goosebumps spread over my arms and shoulders when I look up and straight into Zeus' lightning grey eyes. I shrink before him, never afraid he can read my mind, but in awe of him nonetheless. I didn't mean for him to see it, but he did.

Taking advantage of my weakness, he tugs on a loose strand of my hair and moves his hand toward my neck. Instantly, I back away. I know the promise I made - but can he really not wait for just a minute?!

'Welcome back,' he says, his gaze already darkening as he sees something he wants. I take another step back.

'Good to be back.' My voice sounds quiet, not like I remember it. I need it to sound strong and powerful.

'I was wondering how long it would take before you came to me. None can forever resist the charm of Me.' I squeeze out the tiniest and most resentful smiles I can muster. I know this is my last chance, since I have a debt to pay. But I really don't want to.

'Artemis came for me. That is why I came back.' I'm cheering myself on, hearing only the slightest version of old me ringing in my ears.

'O, come on, don't be silly. We are practically alone. You can scream as hard as you'd like.' He probably means it as an encouragement.

'Not today,' I say, already feeling anger setting in my veins, lighting up my flame. I now know my fire is red and smoldering, like burning moors. I really don't want to see that now. I don't have any need for self-reflecting, I am still mourning Adonis. Self-reflecting can come later.

'Come on,' he says, leaning in, 'you practically smell like sex.' I take another step back, raising my hands to hold him off.

'I said, not now. I did not forget the promise I made, but for Godesses sake can you please tame yourself until I actually want to lie down on my back and get screwed by you?!' Yes! I am the one who says when and if! I straighten my back, taking a deep breath. Zeus says nothing and studies me with a calculating look.

'I will leave now, and see you later,' I add, already feeling the atmosphere around us change. If I don't leave now, thunder and lightning will crumble the top of this mountain and I don't get to say anything. I can see in his eyes he is already thinking of a way to take me against my will. Quickly I turn around, but before I take a step, Zeus grabs my arm and pulls me closer.

'It is not you who gets to say when-' he mutters dangerously close to my ear. I tear away from him aggressively before he can finish that sentence.

'I am! I would never in my existence bed a man or god who screws Hera!' I scream at him. 'Don't fucking touch me again or I will have your cock for Hades' three-headed dog!' Panting, I step back, leaving a perplexed God standing in the middle of the courtyard. O, his wrath shall be unparalleled. What have I done?

I should apologise to him.

But maybe not.

He deserved it.