Aphrodite's Flame

28.

By the time I reach the cabin, my storm has resided. I have given it some thought and I calmed down, although I'm more confused than ever. I want to give Adonis the chance to explain himself before I unleash my divine anger on him. 

Adonis is sitting on the steps to the cabin, waiting for me like a handsome little pup. My heart leaps, I'm so happy to see him - but also my smile falls, now knowing it's all a lie. Was all a lie. 

'Hey, beautiful,' he greets me, kissing me like he hasn't seen me in four months. I force a pretty smile.

'What have you been up to?' I ask him.

'Not much,' he says. 'Been fishing with the guys. What have you been up to the past three days? I do wonder about your secret goddesses' life enormously.' I don't want to tell him I'm supposed to get married. I guess he should know, but on the other hand - I will only have so many months left with him, why break his heart and tell him about my godly troubles?

'You know… boring formal stuff. Nothing to worry about. Have you thought about the way you will spend the four months in your control?' They're starting within two days. He smiles.

'I want to spend them with you, of course.' Of course. Of course he loved me. I don't blame him. If they loved love, they loved me. It's natural, they can't help it and neither can I. It breaks my heart seeing him like this. Maybe I should forget what I know and go with what I think I feel. I truly wish I was that simple.

'I need to ask you something, Adonis,' I tell him quietly as I sit down next to him. Why are my damn hands shaking? He kisses my shoulder and smiles like the sun is shining.

'Anything!'

'I need to know if you wore a girdle given to you by Zeus when we met.' All colour leaves his face and he swallows. His Adam's apple bobs up and down and somehow it annoys me.

'It's true.' His voice breaks. 'I met Him a couple of times and He told me about you. I was smitten with you even before I met you.' I get up, but he grabs my hand, pulling me back. As he does, a stormy wind picks up again.

'Please,' he whispers, slowly going into a panic. 'I was sure you could love me back, would you give me the chance - but why would a goddess waste her time on a simple boy?'

'You stupid mortal,' I say through gritted teeth. I'm getting impatient and frustrated with him and it's not how I want to spend the next four months. I free my hand harshly. 'Stupid, stupid boy!'

'Aphrodite, I am so sorry.' I turn away, take four steps and come back again. He looks scared. Like I might rip out his beating heart. I might as well.

'Listen to me. Your own four months are starting and I really want you to do something with the time that has been given to you. I really need you to take a step back for a while. Go to Corinth, visit my temple, ask around for Cato. Find some purpose to the second chance that's been given to you. I will see you in eight months.' Having taken my leave I start to walk away again. I hate him! I hate him with a passion!

'Nineteen times.' I turn around, a huge lump stuck in my throat. 'Nineteen times did I tell you I loved you. Persephone told me every single time should matter and I remember every one of them.' Tears burn at the back of my eyes.

'Okay,' I tell him as I feel my heart breaking for the both of us, knowing I hurt him deeply - but I also feel my own strength coming back to me.

'Why did you want to know?' he asks, his voice barely a whisper. I shrug, all angry energy flowing away from me.

'Just because.'

'Aphrodite, promise me I will see you in eight months,' he begs.

'I promise. I will be right here.' I swallow my pride and doubts and everything in my being that wants to tell him I love him, because I do. I do love him.