I'm Not Perfect | Seamus Finnigan

The Scars

Emma's P.O.V.

A small blur of red and gold was the first thing I saw.

Hmm. I wonder what that is? I thought calmly. Oh, that's Gryffindor colors. Someone from Gryffindor must be here to visit me. How nice. Wait. Where is here?

I opened my eyes and I remembered everything. Wow. I totally just had a Luna Lovegood moment. Huh, her view on life is quite calm. Peaceful. Happy. I wish we could all think like a Luna.

That's right, I passed out in the Great Hall. Things began to come back to focus and I blinked to see Seamus, Harry, Ron, Neville, Ginny, Luna, Hermione, Dean, Cho, Dumbledore, Proffesor Flitwick, Madam Hooch, Roger Davies, the entire Ravenclaw quidditch team, Remus Lupin. 

Why the heck are there so many people here?

"Um. . What's going on?" I asked. I felt a hand tracing something on my back. Shit.

I jumped off the bed.

"Emma, it's alright." Madam Pomfrey reassured.

"Y-you saw the -- the scars didn't you?" I asked.

They all nodded slowly.

"What is Remus Lupin doing here?" I asked.

"Well, we needed to confirm they were werewolf scratches. And -- Remus says they are." Harry explained.

My eyes went wide.

"H-how long have you had those scars?" Hermione asked.

"I -- uh -- 6 years."

"And you got them, how?" Remus asked.

"I was attacked. Before I came to Hogwarts. I was 10."

"Do you know who?"

"Fenrir Grayback."

Lupin cringed at the name. "So does that mean you fully transform? Or do you only have certain. . symptoms."

"No. I have a horrible fear of full moons, the whole meat thing, and that's pretty much it. Except for the fact I need my hair cut more often than normal."

"If that's all it is, then w-why haven't you told us?" Seamus asked.

"Because -- I -- well, there was one time, okay, 5 times -- where I really did transform. And two of those times. I hurt people." I said. My eyes began getting watery. I didn't want anyone to find out about this.

"That's odd." Lupin said, "I've never heard of this before."

I sat back on the bed. "Please don't hate me." I said and dropped my head to my knees.

"How could we ever hate you? It's not your fault." Ginny said and sat next to me.

"Do you want to tell us what happened? If not, you don't need to."

"Well, I don't really want to tell everyone. Just, maybe. . . Ginny, Luna, Seamus, Ron, and Harry. And Proffesor Flitwick and Dumbledore of course. My head of house, and the headmaster. Neville already knows. So, I guess he can stay."

The others nodded and left the room.

I took a deep breath and said, "I was 10. It was just after I got attacked. I transformed the first 4 full moons, skipped one, then on the 6th full moon after the attack, I transformed again. After that it never happened again. But the second time, I didn't get far enough away from the house, and my Dad tried to come outside to get me back to the woods, and I hurt him. I seriously injured his arm and he had to go to St. Mungos. He told them he didn't know who the werewolf was because when I got older it's hard for werewolves to find jobs."

Lupin nodded in understanding.

"And the last time I transformed, was the worst. I was more vicious than ever. I -- We thought I wouldn't transform anymore so I was in the house. And I about k-killed Neville."

"It's okay, Emma." Neville said.

I shook my head, "No it's not. Now everyone knows and I'm going to end up being avoided by everyone because they'll be afraid of me."

"I will adress the issue. Set the record straight. There's no reason to worry." Dumbledore reassured.

I nodded and said, "Okay."

I may have been afraid to tell them, but now that I have, I feel a lot better. Like a weight that I almost forgot about got lifted off and I had forgot what carefree felt like until now.