"You know what makes me wanna slam my head against the wall?" I ask Jen
She raises her eyebrows
"Lucy would be the perfect person for Mom to talk to right now.."
Jen chuckles humorlessly and agrees "Yeah, probably."
"I can't imagine she'd want to talk to me very much."
Jen and I both turn around to the stairs to see Mom descending them.
"You were listening?" I ask, afraid of the answer
"Yes. I have to ask, baby. If Lucy had done to you what you've done to her, do you think you could forgive her like you're asking her to do for you?"
"I...I don't know."
"Why?"
"Because I don't ever think I'd have had it in me to seek closure. I don't know if I'd want to know what happened or why. I don't think I'd want to have it drag out when I think it would've killed me inside. Maybe because it would've seemed easier to just end everything quick, whether we would've ended up together would've been decided later. In the end I don't think it would've been easier to do that but in the heat of the moment it may've seemed smarter to just cut my losses immediately and not dwindle on it and think about it anymore than I absolutely have to."
"Then Lucy handled it better than you would've. Hell honey, she handled better than you did in actuality and you were the one in the wrong." Mom says, lightly scratching my back in comfort
"I know, she's good at that."
"What?" Asks Jen
"Handling things. She's better at that than me, she's better at almost everything than me..."
"Now is not the time for self pity. You know you were in the wrong, and you're trying to make amends. That already makes you a much bigger man than your father." Mom says
"Not big enough. At the end of the day I can't help but feel like it's too little too late, at least in terms of getting Lucy back. Especially since she seems so happy with that British Cunt."
"I feel stupid asking this, but what's more important: getting Lucy back or getting Rosie back?" Jen asks
"Honestly? Both. I love Rosie, she's my flesh and blood and I'd die for her. But I could say almost the exact same thing about Lucy. When I was with her I was happy. Genuinely, deeply content. But of course because I'm myself I managed to seriously fuck up the best thing that ever happened to me."
"I thought I said no self pity." Mom scolded
"Easier said than done...What would you've done Mom, if you'd been in Lucy's place?"
"Frankly, if everything you said was true, then I woulda squeezed out every penny I could've outta you before doing exactly as she's been doing now. If you ask me, you got off easy, sweetheart."
"Thanks for the sympathy Mom.."
"Dude c'mon, when does mom not have sympathy with you? She's telling you like it is, you should count your blessings." Jen says
"I know you guys are right it's just..frustrating."
"When was the last time you had a real conversation with her?" Mom asked
"That didn't include insults or yelling." Jen amended
"I don't even remember." I sigh
"Urgh...I mean, I can talk to her for you if you want." Jen said
"No no, she might just end up cutting you off too. You don't deserve that." As dry as my sister can be, she most certainly doesn't deserve to lose family because she's still family to me.
"Well honey, if it would help your custodial situation if nothing else..?" Mom says
"It's too big a risk."
"I really don't mind dude, and Lucy's not that insane. I'm sure she'd understand."
"Would she? I don't think she's insane, I think she hates me and it clouds her judgement. And that British prick she's with now doesn't help." I explain
"Jaime happens to like Lainey and me...so..." she says with her eyes trailing off
"Well that explains a lot..."I mumble, feeling myself getting angry again
"Look I'm sorry I got the charisma gene but at least let yourself use it to your advantage this time." She and Mom chuckle
".."
"Oh honey your sister's right, god knows you need all the help you can get winning Lucy back from the hunky Englishman."
"You're both..hilarious..." I sneer
"Oh c'mon, we're just teasing. But really, let me help if I can."
If I consider this, it might be my best lifeline. But because she's my best hope, I don't want to end up just wasting her.
"...I'll think about it. I really appreciate you trying this but you're my best hope. I don't wanna end up wasting an opportunity to gain everything back by being too pushy." I explain
"What do you mean?" She asks
"I mean I'll try everything I can on my own and if none of that works I'll throw you in as a last ditch effort to get my life back. No offence." I explain
"None taken." She shrugs "So what if you throw in your last ditch effort and she still doesn't budge?"
"Well, Rose doesn't seem sad. Lucy even less, so maybe that cunt she's with now isn't all that bad at keeping them happy. I don't wanna go to court with it since even though I can afford it I'll 1. Likely still lose and 2. I don't wanna put the girls through that." I admit
"Are you sure? I think you've got a chance at getting at least partial custody, honey." Mom suggests
"I don't know, I fucked up pretty badly."
"Honey what could you have possibly done to screw yourself this much?" She asks
"Well, to make a long story short; when Lucy and I got divorced I signed a lot of things and didn't look through everything like I should've because honestly at the time I don't think I cared. I just wanted to have my fun with the girls I was fooling around with. I didn't realise how much I gave up until everything I had went away. I might've signed a confession saying I'm responsible for murder and wouldn't know it."
"That's not informed consent. That doesn't count, honey. How dare she make you sign something when you weren't fully aware of what was going on." Mom says outraged
I look to Jen and see she has an uncomfortable look on her face
"Mom I'm an adult, and I was an adult at the time as well. She told me several times to look through and read everything I was signing word for word and I chose not to. I practically threw the papers back in her face and threw her out. Me signing a draconian custody agreement is only my fault." I rectify
Mom sighs and looks down, disappointed. She can't blame Lucy for a single thing.
YOU ARE READING
No Spare Key
RomanceLucy has made a lot of mistakes, she doesn't regret any of them because they gave her little Rosie. That does not mean however that she would be stupid enough to repeat those mistakes. Without her god-awful ex husband, she's been able to make a go...
