Staying In - A Mighty Boosh Fanfiction

Witch

Saboo returned a week later. Vince sighed as he looked at the man.
“Back again then, are you?” he asked.
“I am, actually, yes. Is Naboo in?”
Vince sighed. “Yeah, he is, actually. I’ll go get him.”
The man didn’t say anything and Vince rolled his eyes as he pushed away from the counter and made his way upstairs to where Naboo and Bollo were playing a game of cards.
“A’ight,” Naboo said.
“Hey. That guy’s back.”
“What guy?” Naboo asked.
“That shaman guy.”
“Saboo,” Bollo muttered.
“Oh.” Naboo said. Then he stood up. “I win,” he added, as he threw down his cards. Vince waited impatiently, as Bollo gave a grunt of annoyance and clambered to his feet. Naboo straightened his turban and went downstairs, with Bollo at his heels. 
“Saboo,” Naboo began.
“Ah, Naboo. Finally.”
“Yeah, what do you want? I’m sorta busy, you know, running a shop and all.”
“Running a shop? Your dossbags run the shop.”
“No they don’t. I do stuff too.”
“Yeah, like what?”
“Stuff, you know. Shop stuff.”
Saboo blinked. “Your shop stuff won’t come in handy when it comes to the crunch.”
Naboo rolled his eyes. “Here we go, crunch this, crunch that. Why don’t you get a life?”
“Oh, it’s all fun and games till it comes to the crunch.” Saboo retorted.
Naboo sighed. “Right, what you here for?”
Saboo opened his mouth.
“And don’t say the crunch,” Naboo finished.
Saboo shut his mouth and glared at him. “This has nothing to do with the crunch, at least it is as far from the crunch as it is possible.”
Naboo raised an eyebrow. “Really?” That was new.
Saboo frowned. “Yes, ‘really’.” He replied. “This is Shaman Business.”
“Yeah, what business?” Naboo said without really caring.
“It’s about…” Saboo paused, casting a suspicious glance at Vince, and leant forward towards Naboo. “the witch.” He whispered.
“The witch?” Naboo repeated.
“Yes, the witch.”
“Which witch?” Vince asked, having snuck up beside them in the whispering. This was getting interesting. The first interesting thing to happen in the four weeks he’d been stuck inside.
The shamans jumped at his questions.
“The witch,” Saboo clarified, after he composed himself.
“She’s a witch.” Naboo said, in way of explanation.
Vince frowned. “So?”
“She’s a right pain,” Saboo told him. “Always getting in our way. And she knows nothing of the crunch,” he added annoyed.
Vince gave him a look. That guy was obsessed with the crunch. “Right yeah. But um, this witch…what about her?”
“She’s causing trouble.”
“What kind of trouble?” Naboo asked.
“Trouble trouble.” Saboo replied.
There was a pause. Vince frowned.
“What kind of trouble is that?”
“Bad trouble.”
There was another pause.
“Right, but what does that mean?” Vince asked.
Saboo sighed. “It’s far beyond your comprehension.”
“Right yeah, I’m sure,” Vince said.
“It is.”
“Sure.”
“I mean it.”
“I know you do.”
“I’m sure .”
“Right!” Naboo cut in. “So, what do you want to do about her?”
Saboo paused. “I…need your help.”