Reborn From The Void

Chapter 16 - Confrontation

(Your POV):
I had forgotten how beautiful Peter's eyes were, reminding me of melted milk chocolate with their hue and smoothness. I could have gotten lost in them for hours had his expression not turned from one of confusion to one of anger. My breath hitched in my throat as I saw him open his mouth to speak, silently awaiting the attack that was going to befall me.

"(Y/N), this was all you, wasn't it?! Mr. Stark doesn't actually want to see me, does he?!" Peter demanded and I sheepishly shook my head.

"I was just-"

"So you lied to me, again? I don't think you fully thought this through, (Y/N)! I don't want to see you, that is why I have been avoiding you. So what made you think that by tricking me into seeing you that I'll even listen to what you have to say?!"

"It wasn't my idea, if that makes it any better," I spoke nervously, wringing my hands. "I just wanted to talk, to apologize."

He scoffed, "you wanted to apologize?! For what?! For lying to me throughout our entire relationship?! For trying to kill me on multiple occasions?! For being my enemy this entire time and not having the nerve to tell me!"

"Please, Peter, please just let me apologize, I need to do this."

He sighed, "if this means you'll leave me alone, then fine."

"I'm sorry that I couldn't tell you who I was. Believe me, I wanted to on numerous occasions, but by the time I figured out who you were, it was too late to say anything. I was afraid of losing you, of losing us-"

"This isn't apologizing, (Y/N), this is just making excuses!" He interrupted, sounding both annoyed and hurt by my words.

I drew in a shaky breath, knowing that I couldn't push him, "very well, I won't try to explain myself. But I am truly sorry for keeping my identity from you. I'm sorry for the way that you had to find out. I'm sorry for never telling you what was really going on in my life. I'm sorry for hurting you. I'm sorry for every moment of my damn life because it seems that every time I even breathe I'm messing up what we had. I'm sorry for everything I've done to hurt you. Every time I think about you, its like I'm being suffocated, like I'm being stabbed, because I couldn't say this to you earlier, because by trying to protect you, I just ruined everything and hurt you even more. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry."

I broke off into sobs as I desperately tried to keep myself together, clearly to no avail. Everything I had felt since he took off my mask came crashing in waves. I desperately tried to regain a semblance of control, wiping away the tears on my face and trying to control my irregular breathing.

"How long have you known that I was Spider-Man?" Peter asked, tears welling up in his eyes.

I looked down at my hands, fidgeting nervously, "since the night I captured you. That's why I let you go, I didn't want you getting hurt- or killed, as I'm sure you would have ended up in my parents' hands."

"You've known the entire time we were dating," he muttered, running his hand through his hair. "Were you ever going to tell me? Any of it?"

A thick silence fell over as until I finally shook my head, "no, I knew that would ruin us. I wanted us to have a chance."

"There is no us anymore, (Y/N). Not when you've never once been honest with me. You lied about everything."

"Not everything. I told you as much of the truth that I could afford to whenever I could. And I never lied about my feelings for you. Do you really think I would risk dating a target of H.A.M.M.E.R. if I didn't really care about you?"

"Maybe you were just playing me, maybe I was just some sort of pawn in your plan, maybe you just liked knowing that you could cause me so much pain at the snap of your fingers! I don't know you, I don't think I ever did. So how am I supposed to know if any of your feelings were real?"

By this point tears were streaming freely down my face again, despite my attempts to stop them. I reached out towards his hand, causing him to pull away from my touch. "Pete-"

"I loved you!" Peter finally bust out, causing a sharp pain to stab at my heart. A tense silence fell over the two of us as I tried to understand what he was saying. It was the first time he had used the L-word, but it was laced with pain in its past tense form.

Once I overcame the shock, I grasped Peter's hand, "but you can still love me, Peter. I'm still me. Void was just a different side of me, I'm still your (Y/N). I can still be the woman you love."

"No, (Y/N)," he shook his head, tugging his hand out of my grasp. "I never loved you for who you were, I loved a imaginary version that my mind concocted, I was in love with the idea of you. This wouldn't work out, not now that I know who you really are."

As Peter turned and left me, it felt as though my entire life was crashing around me. F.R.I.D.A.Y. let him leave in the elevator and I collapsed on the cold floor of the training room, no longer retaining the strength to remain standing. I thought I had cried all of the tears I would shed for him, but I was wrong. This conversation that was supposed to give me closure instead opened the wound that was finally just beginning to scar.

-

(A/N): My apologies for making the two of you go through so much pain, but hey it's not really something you just move on from, right? I don't really know what else to say and it feels cruel to wish you enjoyed the chapter despite everything that happened so, um, things can only go up from here?