Reborn From The Void

Chapter 28 - Leave

(Your POV):
I screamed out his name as I awoke, not able to find any solace in the knowledge that it had been only a dream. My breaths came in desperate gasps of air, my chest burning. The tears built up in my eyes as I tried to calm my breathing, but it only made things worse. I couldn't cry out for help, I couldn't do anything but sit there petrified.

"(Y/N), you called out for Peter, would you like me to get him for you?" F.R.I.D.A.Y. spoke over the speakers on my floor.

I shook my head no, but I could not verbally decline her offer. The last thing I needed was for Peter to see me like this. It was pathetic, being so overwhelmed by what was just a dream. But it wasn't just a dream, at least part of it. It was a reminder of who I was, a memory I had tried to bury for so long. But like many others, it had decided to resurface and haunt me as I tried to become a better person.

Footsteps came running down the hallway to me and I became more desperate in my attempts to calm myself down. Tears streamed down my cheeks as I pleaded with my body to listen to me, but it refused to comply. In a last-ditch effort, I grabbed my phone on the bedside table, shaking hands trying to find Peter in my messages to tell him to leave me alone, but it was too late.

"(Y/N)!" Peter called out as he burst into my room, immediately running to my side. "What happened? Why are you crying?"

"Leave," I managed to get out between gasps and sobs, my fingers wrapping around the bedsheets, trying to bring my body back to reality.

"But, (Y/n), you're hurting." His voice shook with emotion and concern, clearly not wanting to leave my side.

I looked up at him through my tear-stained vision, pleading with him to go away. Much to my surprise, he complied. He brought his lips to the top of my head and placed a reassuring kiss before walking out of the door. I squeezed my eyes shut and my hands clenched my bare arms, the nails digging into my skin. I focused on the pain, using the sensation to calm down. My breathing began to slow and return to normal, the cool air finally reaching my lungs.

The door reopened and I looked up to find Peter coming back inside, a mug in his hands. "I, uh, made you some tea. It can be calming, so I thought maybe it could help."

"I thought I told you to leave." I tried to make my voice commanding and threatening, but it came out in a wavering almost-whisper.

"I'm not going to leave you, (Y/N), not when you clearly need help," Peter assured me, handing over the mug and pushing a few loose hairs behind my ear. "Can you tell me what happened?"

I didn't want to talk about it with him so I raised the mug up to my lips with a shaking hand and took a sip, wondering how to get out of this situation. Peter waited patiently for me to speak, allowing for me to take the time that I needed. I realized that he was going to wait up with me all night if that was what it took, so I let a sigh pass through my lips.

"It's really nothing, Pete. I-I just had a bad dream. I'll tell Bucky about it in the morning, it will be ok."

Peter's fingers ran down my arms, hesitating when he reached the marks that had been left by my fingernails digging into the skin, beads of blood seeping through where I had managed to puncture the skin. "This isn't something you should just brush off, (Y/N). You hurt yourself."

"That's nothing, I just panicked, that's all. I'm fine, really."

He frowned at me, "I thought you promised that you were going to be truthful with me?"

"You're really going to hold that over my head, are you?" I groaned in annoyance. "Why can't you just let me be, clearly I can take care of myself. I did it plenty of times when you were still ignoring me."