Somewhere In Neverland ~Flykarth~

Chapter 9

Alex's POV

"I-I'm falling for you Lex, genuinely."
I sat there, bewildered, and confused, was I, was I dreaming? Surely I had to be? Why would he like me? What was there to like? I was broken, battered and bruised, damaged goods...who wanted damaged goods? But his eyes...they told me he meant every single word. I just didn't understand what he saw in me, he-he was perfect, in every way, he could have any guy he wanted, so, why me?
"I-I'll j-just go." He looked hurt as he threw on his bag and turned around. Without thinking I grabbed his wrist, stopping him in his tracks.
"D-don't." He turned around, looking at me confused. "D-Don't g-go, please."
"Ok, if you don't want me too, I'll stay." He put his bag back down carefully.
"W-Why do you...I-I'm broken...s-so broken...d-damage goods." I choked, as tears started to fall.
"You're not Lex." He took a step towards me, his previously confused expression, now soft. "You-you're perfect, even if you don't believe it, but you are. You're not broken, you're not damaged good, you're just a little lost right now. A little beaten, but nothing a little tlc can't fix to make as good as new. And I want to be the one to help you find your way, I want to be the one to make you as good a new again. I want to be the one to help you through all of the shit and be there in the good times too. I want to give you a reason to believe, a reason to smile. Please, Lex, let me be the one to do that...w-will you b-be my boyfriend? W-Will you give me a chance? Please."
I stood there, gobsmacked, this had to be some sort of sick joke, or a dream, but it wasn't, it was real. I swallowed the lump in my throat. "Wh-what about..."
"I don't care about any of that, especially that ginger prick." He shook his head. "S-so will you? You're killing me here Lex."
I paused for a moment, but I knew the answer, I knew I'd probably regret it, but since the day I laid eyes on him, he hasn't left my head. And the way it felt when his arms where around me, it was like I belonged there and god I couldn't stop thinking about kissing him either. "Y-Yes."
Matt breathed a huge sigh of relief, and before I knew it he was locking his lips on mine. I held back the hiss of pain that wanted to escape from the cut and just let myself melt. I'd never kissed anyone before, but this, this felt perfect, like our lips belonged together. Like two perfect puzzle pieces fitting together as fireworks errupted. After a short moment he pulled away. "Sorry, I just wanted too...I didn't hurt you did I?"
"It's ok." I gave him a small smile.
"S-So what you want to do about, you know, us? School?"
"I-I want to keep this between us, just for now. I-I want to tell Kellin, I don't want him finding out any other way. H-he's a good friend. A-and I don't want you to..."
"Some people are worth hurting for." He raised his hand to my face, stroking my cheek softly with his thumb. (Get it? Huh? Huh? No? Okay then :P)
"B-but I don't want you to get hurt, especially not because of me." I shyed away, looking at the floor.
"I can take it, don't worry about me. Y-you make me want to be strong, you make me want to finally stand up for myself, and for others. I've always wanted to, bu-but you give me this whole new drive to do it, I-I'm not scared anymore. But if you want to keep this between us, for now, I'm okay with that, just let me know when you're ready okay?"
"Okay." I nodded finally bringing my head back to his. Why? I just still couldn't understand what he saw in me, why he suddenly wanted to stand up. He was with me for now, but it wouldn't be long until he saw how broken I really was and leave.
"When will your parent's be back?"
"About six."
"Want to cuddle up with a movie before I go?"
"I'd like that." And that's just what we did, and it felt...good, as I laid my head on his chest, his arm around me. It felt right and for the first time in forever, I felt okay.

  "I better go." Matt sighed as the film ended.
"Yeah." I nodded looking at the clock, my parent's where due home in the next ten minutes. Don't think they'd want to come home to see their son cuddling up with some guy on the sofa, you know, given they didn't even know I was gay. Matt stood up, pulling me up with him.
"You going to be ok?"
"I'll be fine." I nodded, right now, I was happy, so for once, I actually meant it.
"Good, call if you need me ok?"
"I will."
"Ok, and hey, Lex?"
"Mmmm?"
"It'll be ok." His stroked my cheek with his thumb.
"I hope so." I sighed, right now, I didn't believe it. All I'd been able to think about is all the beating's I was going to be getting for the rest of my school life. And now Matt was going to get dragged down with me after he'd already been there. He had the scars up his arms, I couldn't bare the thought of him doing anything like that again, not because of me. I kept thinking about Matt laying there, beaten, battered, in one of the school's toilets, or in the hall way, or hell, even outside of school, Alan standing there over him, laughing, calling him everything under the sun. The thought made my stomach churn, and it wasn't doing anything for my anxiety either as breathing slowly started becoming a struggle.
"It will be, we'll do it together ok?"
"Ok." I managed to sound, fairly normal, just then Matt locked his lips on mine and suddenly my slow building anxiety attack stopped and went away as I melted into his lips. How did he just do that?!
"I'll see you at school tomorrow."
"See you tomorrow." I gave him a small smile and left. A kiss, that's all it took and I went from being on the verge of an attack to nothing but happy for a split moment. How was it one person could do that? Nothing stopped the attacks, the med's only went so far, but just one kiss from Matt, stopped dead in it's tracks. I touched my slightly tingling lips, still in a little shock when my parents walked in, snapping me out of my thoughts.
"Hello love." My mum smiled. "Oh, been eating the pop corn huh?"
"Oh yeah, sorry."
"It's fine, I can get some more from the store tomorrow. I hope you haven't spoiled your appitite though, we're going to order in tonight if that's ok?"
"Sure." I nodded, not that I was really in the mood, I'd barely even touched the popcorn. I hurt too much, even with aspirin shoved down my throat, it hurt to just breath, let alone do anything else.
"Oh Lex, look at your beautiful face! Your dad tell me you fell?"
"Yeah, you know what I'm like." I shrugged, please drop it mum, pleaseeeeee.
"You goofball, Next time look where you're going OK?" She smiled sweetly, stroking my cheek.
"I will." I nodded, inwardly sighing with relief. One handy thing of anxiety, depression and hiding the fact I'm gay from everyone, I was pretty nifty with the white lies. It helped my parent's where pretty nieve too, made it easy for them to believe them. Like, if they knew something was wrong, they would ask, and then I would make up some small white lie, like I didn't get much sleep...they'd just believe it. Simply because it was a believable answer, and it was better believing something like that, then the real truth. They didn't want to believe I was going the route of my brother, they didn't want to believe I was as screwed up as he was. And that's why they shoved me in school, well one of the reasons, they wanted me to be 'normal', they didn't want to have to keep picking up prescription's for anxiety. In fact, they had stopped and I had to find other ways to get them. But, they wanted me to be a happy, normal kid who got good grade's who'd go to college, do well and work in good jobs like they did. Yeah, that's never going to happen.
Sure, it would seem Matt made me happy, if that's what that feeling was. I'm pretty sure it was, but I couldn't remember the last time I was happy so, I was working blind here with the positive emotions. But normal? HA, yeah, not a chance in hell I'd ever be normal, I wouldn't be happy outside of Matt, and college, yeah right, have they seen my grades? I'd be lucky to get into a community college!