Desire | jjk. *ON HOLD*

30

It didn't matter how many times I tried, I would never be able to forgive myself. What I had done was so stupid that I was mad at myself. Cheating on Taehyung, the only person who might really know me, with Jungkook, someone who I've only known for a month, was such a low blow.

I didn't have any excuses. I couldn't justify myself in any way, even if I wanted to. Everything I had done, the decisions I had taken, all of my mistakes, were thanks to me. No one forced me to run into Jungkook's arms.

And the worst part? It hurt me.

It hurt like hell knowing that what meant so much to you, meant nothing to the other person. That he was playing with me since the beginning, and without any purpose.

"I have to go." My father says walking out of the kitchen of the bar. "Do you need me to bring you anything?"

I shake my head.

"No, thanks."

"Okay..." He sighs. "Do you want to talk about something?"

I think my puffy face gave me away. It's Monday evening, and even though I've tried to forget, I can't. I understand that I need more time to process my feelings, but this is enough time for me. The faster I forget about it, the better. However, deep inside my soul, I hoped that this wouldn't have happened, and that things with Jungkook would've continued since the night at the party, where everything seemed perfect.

But that wasn't reality, and I had to face that. I had faced reality at the club that night, when I saw the blond girl about to throw herself on top of him, and it had hit me so hard that I broke down. And now, seeing things with tranquility, I realize that I really did act like a child. I shouldn't have let him talk, even though his explanation wouldn't have done anything. The thing about "whimsical child" hurt me, but I was acting like that.

"I'm okay." I say forcing a smile. "Thank you."

He nods. He's a very comprehensive person... when he wants to be. He hugs me, takes an umbrella and walks out of the bar. It's raining really hard outside, and I see how my father gets in the car and drives away.

The bar is a really busy place, but with the rain, we decided to close early. It's six o'clock on a Monday, and there's no one in the street.

I put the closed sign on the door and I return to the kitchen. There's hundreds of dishes and kitchen utensils to wash, so I turn on the tap and start to fix some things.  I'm not in a good mood, but the faster I finish, the faster I'll be able to lay down on the couch and listen to sad songs.

My phone vibrates and I see Hyerin's face on the screen, who's calling me.

"Are you at the bar?" She asks as soon as I answer.

"I'm doing good, thank you for asking." I answer, rolling my eyes. "Yes, I'm at the bar-"

"Perfect." She responds and then hangs up.

When I hear the beeps in my ear telling me that the call has ended, I look at the ceiling, asking why I chose such a weird best friend.

During the next hour, I dedicate myself to fix everything that's out of place and I clean the floors, reorganize the tables and put tags on the specials.

I hear a few hits on the door and I walk out of the kitchen. However, I freeze when I see what waits for me.

Jungkook.

He's standing outside the door, with his hood on looking at my firmly. Drops of water fall from the hair that's on his forehead and he's all wet. I open the door and the cold invades the place. I really don't know if I should be letting him in, but judging by how wet he is, maybe I should.