Desire | jjk. *ON HOLD*

47

I still feel horrible over what I've done. Even though Jungkook was more calm now, I was still able to sense some tension in between us the whole drive to his house. I think he's still trying to process the fact that I kissed someone else, and I don't blame him. The sensation I had when I found out about what happened with Amy was horrible; I wasn't able to get rid of the feeling for a few days. That was different of course, because I hadn't slept with Yoongi... but he also hasn't done anything with anyone else during our relationship.

Relationship.

It's a strange word. Yes, I was in a relationship with Taehyung, but deep inside I knew it wasn't real. It was kind of like a friendship and not a relationship. We told each other our problems, we went everywhere together and we supported each other; but I do that with Hyerin too. There was something missing in that relationship, something that I have with Jungkook.

He has shown me that he wants me, more than once, and now he's told me that he loves me. Everything was going by fast, maybe too fast. What we had has gotten out of my reach, it's gotten to something we can't control. The way he makes me feel... like if I have no control over myself, was scary. I was scared of doing something stupid and losing him, like what happened with Yoongi.

But at the same time, I was scared of the distance between us. I feel like if I know him, like when an emotion crosses his face, I know immediately what he's feeling, but... I also knew that there were certain topics that separated us. Like his dead mother, his missing father, how he was raised as an abandoned and anguished child... If it wasn't for Jimin, the love and affection in his life would've been very dull.

When we enter his apartment, the smell of Jungkook cologne immediately fills my nose. I quickly get my phone and text Hyerin, telling her that I'll be staying at Jungkook's place, and to cover for me. I received a response within thirty seconds. An eggplant emoji, followed by a perverted face, a tongue and water droplets. I smiled and left my phone over the counter.

"You want something to drink?" He asks politely, and I smile, nodding. "Okay, I'll be right back."

He walks into the kitchen, and I walk freely to his bedroom, sitting on the bed. I don't know what to do. I lower my gaze to the floor and I sigh.

A devilish idea comes to my mind. The crazy idea of surprising him crosses my thoughts and I bite my lip.

I take off my shoes, my top and the rest of my clothes. I stare at my black undergarments and curse at myself for not wearing something nicer.

I sit on the bed again, feeling impatient. I hear his footsteps walking towards me and I start to feel nervous. When he enters the room, he starts to open his mouth to say something, but it closes at soon as he sees me.

I smile nervously. His presence makes me shiver, it makes something inside me ignite. His eyes go over the extension of my body, semi-naked, from top to bottom.

He gets closer to me with caution, slowly, like if he was trying to preserve what he was seeing in his memory. He stands over me and places both of his arms on the sides of my head so that I'm trapped under him and he's leaning over me. His eyes intimidate me, they have since the very first moment. The attraction is inevitable, and it generated a voracious desire. I wanted him on top of me. I wanted him to touch me.

Jungkook just stares at me, and that takes me out of balance. He seems to notice my nervousness, so he puts one of his hands on my thigh, just to softly caress it. I get goosebumps and my breath cuts off.

Delicately, with an unbothered gesture, he lowers his hand down to my knee, making my legs move apart.

"Why are you doing this to me?" He asks in almost a whisper. "You're killing me, Areum..."