Desire | jjk. *ON HOLD*

39

I hated the mornings, I hated the alarm clock, I hate Mondays. I was sleepy, I was tired and the only thing I could think about was sleeping.

I spent the whole weekend with Hyerin, buying clothes and going over an intense lesson in illegal gangs. It was exhausting... devastating. I didn't want to go to school, much less sit in front a chalk board and listen to the teacher talk.

Jungkook hasn't called me, and I hated how that affected me. I hated feeling vulnerable when it was about him, but it was like that. I felt sad and angry; both things at the same time. I understood that Jungkook had an ex girlfriend that probably left him. And apparently, it affected him a lot. However, I couldn't stop thinking about the fact that he didn't tell me about what was going on.

Hyerin had told me everything about them: they were a part of "Gold Blood", a gang that they joined when they were only fourteen years old. Since that moment they dedicated to training, and then, to box for them. They compete amongst each other, and they won money with bets.

But the "Blue Demons" also existed, another gang of north Seoul. They were more violent; they were trafficking drugs and they liked getting into arguments that didn't involve them.

The leader of Gold Blood is a retired boxer of almost seventy years old. Then there's the Blue Demons director, the drug trafficker. They both made a deal years ago; without violence, there's no war. Jungkook just broke a deal that has remained in tack for years, and all for an ex girlfriend that I don't know about.

Hyerin sweared that she didn't know anything about any ex girlfriend, and that Jimin thought it was too "private" to tell her.

So here I am, sitting on my desk, trying to make it seem like if I'm paying attention to geography. The teacher is explaining something, I'm sure of that, but no one is listening. We all take notes of the homework in our notebooks, and when the bell rings, we leave.

I walk out into the hall and I pass by Amy, who smiles at me maliciously. I have no idea why, but I ignore it. I'm tired of her teenage drama, I already have enough in my life.

Hyerin appears in the hall and starts walking next to me.

"Finally... I swear I couldn't hear any more about art and the sons of renice..." Hyerin says in an exhausted tone.

I raise an eyebrow.

"The son's of renice?"

"Yeah, the cultural movement..." She rolls her eyes. "Nevermind, I wouldn't know."

Even though I'm kind of in a bad mood, I still laugh.

"I think you're talking about the Renaissance Era."

Hyerin joins my laughter. I can't believe how dumb she can be sometimes.

"That was close!"

"Hurry up, half neuron." I roll my eyes and she pushes me playfully. "I have to go to the bar with my father."

She scoffs.

"You work Mondays?"

"I work when he needs me, Hyerin, we can't hire more people right now." I shake my head and frown. "The bar has been kind of full lately."

"That's good for business." She says with a smile. "I suppose you'll find something that'll cheer you up."

"I hope so." I respond before walking out of the main doors.

The calm and warm breeze hits my face. The sun is high up in the sky; it seems like a beautiful day.

"I should go, I have... you know, that thing." She suddenly says.

I frown.

"I don't understand... should I?"

She smiles and gives me a quick hug before running away.

"I love you! Don't forget that!"

She passes by a motorcycle and greets the person on it before going into her moms car. But it's not anyone's motorcycle, it's Jungkook's, who's sitting with his arms crossed looking at me.

I lower my gaze slowly, and when I'm in front of him, I stay silent. He's the one who owes me an explanation, the one who has to talk, not me.

"I thought I would find you here." He says unworried.

I nod.

"Is that what you came to tell me?"

"Areum, I'm sorry..." He starts and he stands up to walk towards me.

"No." I take a step backwards. "I don't want this to become a habit."

"What?"

"That I'll forgive you and you'll keep doing whatever you want." I respond upset. "Why didn't you tell me about your ex girlfriend?"

Jungkook inhales.

"It's... complicated."

"You didn't call me, you didn't write me a single text throughout the whole weekend, you didn't even bother explaining or, I don't know, vent to me and I... I still end up forgiving you."

Jungkook looks at me a bit saddened, with his gaze lowered.

"I made a mistake, I'm sorry." He sighs. "I wanted to tell you, it's just that... it still hurts."

I nod.

"I know what you mean."

Jungkook looks at me and his gaze darkens, his jaw tensed.

"You have no idea."

There's a silence between us. I'm waiting for him to talk, and he's trying to gather the correct words to tell me what this is all about.

"Pia." He says with a sigh. "Her name was Pia."

I feel my heart clench and sink for a second.

"Was?"

He nods.

"She... died."

I feel speechless. I don't know what to say, or how to comprehend something like this. I don't know how she died, or who she was, but it looks like if the topic still hurts Jungkook. But I understand him; after I lost my mother.

Then I hug him. I wrap my arms around him, and he stays still. His respiration is firm, he doesn't seem like if he wants to cry, but I can feel his sadness. Like if her death was recent.

I decide that it's best not to ask anything else. I step away and I kiss him softly on the lips.

"I hope you can still tell me about her... about what happened." I say calmly. "But only when you find it convenient."

He kisses me again with sweetness and passion. He separates himself from me and gives me the helmet. When I sit down and hear the motorcycle's engine turn on, I hear him say something.

"I hope I never have to do that."

The vehicle starts, and with it, it takes the words that were floating in the air.