Everyone Dies (Except Galadriel)

Chapter 9: Of the Flight of the Noldor, Pt. I

So I wrote the last chapter at midnight and it was supposed to say "CelticWhovian, this one's for you" but that somehow got cut out and I didn't notice until now. 

Also my good friend Super pointed out that "invisible invisibleness" cancels itself out and makes the invisibleness actually visible which is inconvenient and maybe I'll edit this...absolute masterpiece...one day. Who knows. 

If I ever finish it. 

My mother gave me caffeine this morning and I'm typing at the speed of light whilst manic energy courses through my body and makes my hands shake so please forgive any weird stuff that I write. For true sarcastic authenticity I just read a thing, write as I go, and boom it exists now. 

Today's chapter dedication was a long time coming. For some reason I managed to forget that @DorkyPegasus has an account on here so I didn't do any dedications which was my bad. Momo has been my biggest supporter when it comes to...well, just about anything, from writing to just plain existing. Since we met a few years ago some of the most fun I've had is when I'm doing stuff with her and I truly don't know where I'd be without her. 

This one's for you, Momo. 

You dork <3 

EDIT!

Yes, I edited this. 

Shocker!

So I realized that I messed up.  I forgot some details, which I will fix in an upcoming part when I backtrack. 

Whoopsie.

***

This is where stuff really starts to get real y'all. 

Right ok so I left out one really important part of Ungoliant's rampage. 

She basically ate the giant magical trees that everyone loves. 

She also devoured a ton of other stuff because yummy light. 

So the Valar hold another board meeting in the Ring of Doom and we're told that it's night now because of the giant spider stuff, so the Valar are sitting underneath some shadows. 

Cool. 

No worries though because Varda's stars are still a thing. 

No, we couldn't just say that the stars were overhead, we had to specify that Mrs. Perfect made them. Yay, lovely. 

Then Yavanna went to the hill where the trees were, and she told the Valar that there was no way that she could ever make anything like them again because there was too much darkness in the world now or...something. 

What Tolkien actually wrote was something about the Elven version of souls and darkness and...well I'm here to clear things up, right, and make the book more...comprehensible? 

She does say that if she had a little bit of the light from the trees then she could somehow...mend everyone's hearts? Ok? Makes sense?

This light, she specifies, is in the Silmarils...remember, Feanor filled them with Tree Light or something along those lines when he made them. 

Yavanna...just wants Feanor to hand over the Silmarils

Manwë calls our friend Feanor to the Ring of Doom and is like, "hey, would ya give Yavanna your Silmarils please" and Tulkas (ew) butts in and basically says "well obviously he's gonna OBEY and hand them over!" 

Am I the only one who feels like...Feanor has no obligation whatsoever to give the Valar his stuff? 

Idgaf if they're fancy god people or whatever. They're not entitled to just take other peoples' things! Like what the hell! 

Feanor says nothing. 

Then he yells at them and basically says, "if I give them to you then it'll break my heart and then I will die!"

And I shit you not

Mandos

Responds to this by ominously going "you won't be the first to die" and apparently, and I quote, "but they did not understand his word; and again there was silence..." 

Mandos I swear to god. 

Obviously this is supposed to be some sort of foreshadowing but to me it just seems really really dumb. 

Nobody gives a damn, Mandos, stfu you unhelpful prat. 

God. 

Feanor goes on to call the Valar thieves and says basically, "if y'all force me to hand them over then I'll know for sure that Melkor is for sure related." 

Honestly. You tell 'em, Feanor. 

Then, Nienna does the most logical and helpful thing she can do. 

By that I mean, she went to a mountain and cried so much that her tears washed away all the grossness from Melkor "defiling" stuff. 

I relate so much to Nienna. The one Vala whose powers I actually possess. 

Anyway, her pity party is interrupted by some dude barging in and telling everyone that Melkor has killed Finwë (Feanor's dad). 

Poor Feanor. Seriously.  Melkor persuades him that his brother is plotting against him and because he tries to defend himself he gets BANISHED. Then the Valar bring him to the Ring of Doom and basically DEMAND that he give them his prized possession that he MADE HIMSELF with his OWN TWO HANDS. And now as he's standing there with gods trying to pressure him into giving them his stuff (which they have no right to take) some guy runs in and just yells to the room that his dad is dead. 

What a way to find out! 

Ffs random dude, could you not like...take the guy aside and gently break the news to him? 

Not only has Melkor murdered his dad, he also stole the aforementioned Silmarils. 

THIS POOR MAN!

So poor Feanor is just blinded by rage and grief, and he's angry at the Valar for calling him away when he could have been in Formenos and maybe saved his dad. 

Tolkien goes on to say that nobody has ever loved their father more than Feanor loved Finwë. 

Honestly this chapter makes me so

goddamn

angry

Christ. 

So let's end there for today. And with any luck, I'll be writing again soon. 

Stay safe, Sarissë out!