Melancholia

The Aftermath

*RECAP*

"Even if it was possible, why would I be able to do it? Scientists have been wondering how to do it for years and all of a sudden I'm able to?"

She exhaled hard and her nostrils flared. She finally looked up at me and was now staring at me in my eyes; Head-on.

"Those scientists are human, Cynric." She took a deep breath and there was a small silence.

"You're not."

******

The words were floating around in my head, buzzing around like that intolerable fly that can't seem to get out despite the widely open window.

You're not human...you're not human...you're NOT human.

In a way, I've always known that I was different. There was a reason why people avoided me. Maybe I was just too dumb to truly realize it and put the pieces together.

But, I feel human.

How does being human even feel?

"Well, I'm not surprised. Not even in the slightest bit." I said grimly, staring at a strand of hair on her head that kept blowing around freely even though there was no draft nor an open window or door.

Aurora looked at me with a deadpan stare, eyes staring at me so boredly yet seriously and challengingly that it appeared as if she was looking right through me. Yet, she didn't say a word.

"Humans are notable for becoming capable of detaching themselves from the creature they think they are, while this creature is still alive and looking at himself and the rest of reality in an independent way." I sneered. I was suddenly feeling an intense amount of anger.

"Humans are too stupid to survive. Man is the creator of his own destruction and has even invented a god with such an ego that it demands obedience before truth, freedom, or human life. This god is a cunning predator that is such a coward it denies you the right of self defense before it attacks you."

Not only was rage coursing through my veins, but confusion was in my head. How could she tell me that I wasn't human? 

I mean, I'm no idiot, I know those pills could fucking kill me, but for some reason they didn't. They spared me, and what I'd like to know is why she waited so long to blurt it out.

My voice rose. "It is not only man's most dangerous enemy, but is the source of corruption, hate, discrimination, conflict and fear. History records the hundreds of millions of people who have died because they were taught to fear the punishment of this psychopathic false god called authority, more than they feared death." I was shaking and I didn't know why.

"I wouldn't call myself human, Aurora, but I want to know why you waited so long to tell me. I knew something wasn't normal, but why did you wait so long to fucking say it?" I managed to sneer through a mix of a grimace and a glare. My eyes were burning and my face felt strangely hot. I could barely see, but it also felt like my vision was....improving.

"Cynric, hun," Aurora sweetly but nervously said, "Um, you need to...calm down." She was starting to slightly back up from me, but kept her arms up in an 'I surrender' position.

I couldn't seem to get a grip on myself. I felt tingly all over, and not in a good way, my eyes felt like they were on fire, like looking directly at the sun on a bright summer day for 5 minutes straight. It was like a pounding was going on in my head; my brain was throbbing. 

It was on and off like a light switch or strobe lights that were annoyingly flashy and bright. I was sure my body was bend over and in the fetal position though standing up with my fists covering my face.