SECRET ADMIRER {COMPLETE}

Forty

~Lam~

"Dude! What is your fucking problem with me, huh?"-Beam barked at me. I couldn't help but roll my eyes, he got some nerve yelling at me. "BECAUSE I DESPISE FAKE PEOPLE" I said. Forth and Beam were never supposed to be an item. He was supposed to be one of the many one night stands he had. In his case, just a BET.

Everyone might not see Beam for what he is, but I do. He is a liar!!! and he has been straddling the fence with Forth, on his feelings for N'Sharp. I love Forth!, I've loved him since childhood and never has he looked in my direction. I confessed and never AGAIN for the fear of loosing a friend. Seeing him hurt over Beam, broke my heart. I didn't give up on my unrequited love, only for him to end up with someone unworthy!!!

Beam showed interest in N'Sharp from the moment I saw them together. He defended that boy more than Forth!! His supposed boyfriend. Now he wants to play victim!!. " FAKE??..." Beam said looking around the table as if waiting for the rest to chime in. " Did I stutter? Between you and your mom. I don't know who is the bigger WHORE" I said.

~Forth~

After Lam's comments about Ms. Baramee, Beam launched at him. As he should, for calling his mom names. But as we watched them earlier exchange words Park just looked on. He watched his boyfriend in awe!! This was not the Park I knew, he is normally the first to come to Lam's aid.

I guess like everyone else, he wanted to know the root of the animosity. But I had seen enough. " STOP !!! Both of you STOP!!!... are you not going to give me a hand?" As I looked in Phana's direction. " Your friend had it coming, Forth..."-Phana. I looked over at Park , he had no expression in his eyes. " He sure act like a JEALOUS ex if you ask me...He shouldn't have started it!"-Kit.

I finally managed to pull Beam off, of Lam. To the surprise of everyone, Park stood up. Looked at his boyfriend expressionless and walked off. "PARK!!! ... Park..."- Lam run after him. I picked up Beam's stuff and said " let's go home!". He had a bruised lip, but nothing compared to what he did to Lam. He pushed my hand when I reached out to him. Is he upset with me? On our ride home he took a deep breathe and asked, "... have you and Lam ever been more than FRIENDS?" -Beam. 😳

~Park~

Lam's attitude towards Beam has been one that bothered me a lot. Honestly, my gut told me one thing but I refused to believe what my mind was telling me. That is, Lam and Forth have had more than a friendship before me. Lam was already in a fowl mood before we even went for drinks with the med students. As if, the sight of Beam alone was a trigger for him. He kept rolling his eyes, whenever he would speak. I even tapped him on the lap several times to stop, under the table.

Then he went on to insult Beam and his Mom. I love Lam but I won't condone him being rude to someone else mother. I watched as they quarreled and then Beam launched at him. I noticed him look in my direction for help, but I felt numb. Then, Kit's comment brought up the very notion that I have been suppressing for some time now. He was acting like a jealous boyfriend. I couldn't bare to look at him so I grabbed my stuff and left.

While approaching the car, I could hear him running after me. " PARK!!!Park!!!.... Wait!"- Lam. It broke my heart but I kept walking. I got in the car, and he quickly got in the passenger side. I sat there quietly for about a minute. I could feel his eyeballs on me trying to sense what I was going to do. I said not a single word,then drove off, heading home. I could hear him crying next to me. " Lam..." I called out his name, looking straight ahead. " What relationship do you have with FORTH?" I asked and I could hear him gasp for air.

~Beam~

I watch as Forth take a deep breathe and looked at me while we drove off. Then he calmly proceeded to answer my question. " It's my fault Beam... it has always been my fault" -Forth spoke in riddles, what is he talking about? " What is your fault? I'm not following" I said as he pulled up in our garage. He got out bit his bottom lip and said, "let's talk upstairs".

I followed cluelessly behind, as he scanned his finger prints to enter the building. I watched as he solemnly dragged his feet inside and sat down. I stood in front of him waiting for him to elaborate. Then he said, " I've always known Lam likes me...Hell he confessed his feelings to me once" Forth said fiddling with his car key. I took a seat next to him.

~Lam~

Park asked me this question out the blue, I froze up next to him. " So is my gut feeling is right about you two?" He said parking the car and finally looking in my direction. I took a deep breathe and said, " if you mean have I had feelings for Forth... then you are right. But I'm not in love with him! I love you!!" I stressed. He looked at me confused, " make it make sense to me Lam" Park said in that stern voice he use when he is mad. I gulped dreading what I was about to disclose.

" Growing up, I felt Forth was the only person that understood me. Before, we even joined the bike gang, it was always him and I". I watched as he listened carefully. " ... People were labeling us, as a cute couple. And it made me think perhaps we could be more than that". I watched as Park's body language change, almost as if he was suppressing the anger that was building up in him.

" ummm... I swear I don't have those feelings for him anymore!!"-I said trying to assure him, that my feelings for him is genuine. " Finish, what you were saying. Lam" Park said in an ominous tone. I felt goosebumps all over, seeing him like that. " We had a sleep over at his house, a-and I -I... Umm we drunk a lot" I said noticing him gripping tight to the steering wheel. " I build up the courage and confessed to Forth... but,he said nothing in response. Instead , he pecked me on the forehead and fell asleep".

" I knew he was pretending because I drank more than him. The following day, he pretended it never happened. I was too embarrassed to bring it up again. I also, went along and pretended nothing happened. So I buried my feelings for him, never to be spoke of again. With time I let my unrequited love go, and then I met you Park. You bring so much joy to my life" I said reaching out for his hand. He kept holding on to the steer still in silence. "... So how do you explain your anger towards Beam?"- Park said looking me in the eyes.

" At first, it was because I saw him hurting my bestfriend. But, later on I couldn't fathom why BEAM? What made him better than me that Forth is risking so much... I guess in hindsight, I was acting out because of all the emotions I've been harboring. I'm sorry Park!! Please, forgive me" I said while tears streamed down my face. I felt him pull me into a hug. " it's okay, but I need to simmer down, I'm going back to my place tonight" he said.

That was worse than him cursing or plain being upset with me. He was leaving me!!! " Are you breaking up with me?" I asked now crying a waterfall. He lifted my chin, " it will take more than your unrequited love for your best friend for me to leave you. You are one messed up guy, but crazy enough I love you. I'm leaving you alone with your thoughts. I know you hate that, and ponder on what you've done. You need to apologize to Beam"-Park.

~Beam~

" so you knew how he felt about you all this while but chose to ignore it?" I asked after Forth told me about Lam's confession to him. He looked at me modded his head and said, " his anger is geared towards me.But he unleashed it on you"-Forth. " Why couldn't you return his feelings for you?" I asked out of curiosity. He smiled , " Lam is literally like a brother to me. I never saw him in that light."

"But I was wrong to pretend I didn't know his heart. He means well Beam, I'll talk to him. This will be sorted out. Besides,you two will become family soon hahaha" he laughed to make light of the situation.
" Yeah, but I would kick his ass again, if her ever talk about my mom ". We both laughed, " let me treat your lip" Forth said walking to get first aid.