What Happens When Fanboys and Death Note Mix: The 4th Awakens

Who Stole Star Wars?

*Lucas, Connor and Leia arrive back at the studio. Rey, Elmira and Light are there waiting for them*

Connor: Ryuk told us to hurry back. What's wrong?

Rey: Well, you know how you were planning to screen the original Theatrical Editions of the Star Wars Original Trilogy?

Connor: Yeah before releasing them on DVD, Blu-ray and Ultra-HD? What about them?

Elmira: They've been stolen.

Connor and Lucas: *glance at each other* WHAT? *they kneel and yell at the sky* NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!

Light: Aren't you overreacting a bit? It's just a bunch of dumb movies.

Lucas: *grabs Light by his shirt collar and shoves him against the wall* How DARE you?! It's Star Wars, Light! And not only that, it's the THEATRICAL CUTS we're talking about!

Light: ...what are you talking about? Isn't that just the one we all see?

Lucas: Not by a long shot! The Theatrical Cuts haven't been seen since 1995!

Connor: What about the 2006 release?

Lucas: Well, yeah but that was taken from Laserdisc so it looked all messed up. Anyway, in 1997, the movies were rereleased but crazy George Lucas made tons of changes to them, many that no one liked.  But it didn't stop there. They've continued making some changes here and there since then! 

Connor: Most notably the 2004 release. 

Lucas: Yep. When they added a bunch of CGI background aliens, a beaked tongue to the Sarlacc, Temeura Morrison dubbing all of Boba Fett's lines so he'd sound like Jango Fett since he's a clone of him, and...Prequel Era Anakin appearing as a force ghost at the end.

*Connor and Lucas shudder at the thought*

Connor: Basically since then fans have been begging for the theatrical editions to be rereleased. So that's what I'm gonna do, I'm going to name them canon, and I'm going to have the Special Editions be labeled under Legends! 

Lucas: Dave likes that?

Connor: Yeah.

Elmira: But they've been stolen and we have no idea where they are or who took them!

Voice from behind: I hid them. 

*everyone faces him, he's hooded in a sith robe*

Figure: I had to. The current editions are the true ones.

Lucas: Oh come on everyone knows that's bull!

Connor: Who are you?

*The figure lowers his hood, to reveal...*

Everyone: GEORGE LUCAS?!

Connor: So you stole them.

George: Yes. I'm sorry, but I can't let those monstrosities be released again.

Lucas: BUT THEY'RE THE GOOD ONES!

George: I disagree. For I have perfected the movies since the Special Editions.

Lucas: Imma perfect kicking your ass! RAAAAAAA!!!! *runs at George Lucas, who shocks him with a jolt of force lightning* 

George: I'm sorry young one. I can't let you do that.

Lucas: Too bad Georgie. *pulls out and ignites a blue lightsaber*

Connor: *ignites his own green lightsaber*

Rey: *ignites her yellow lightsaber*

George: Have it your way, my children. *ignites his red lightsaber and spins towards the trio like Palpatine did in Revenge of the Sith*

*George knocks Connor back and force pushes Rey. He and Lucas's lightsabers lock*

Lucas: Where are they Georgie?

George: I'm not telling. *kicks Lucas back*

*Lucas gets up, they each twirl their lightsabers then they clash. Then they twirl them again and they clash. Then they twirl them one more time and they clash three times, and they lock again*

Lucas: Hey what's that over there? *points*

George: Hm? *he looks over*

Lucas: Ah-ha! *and with one swipe, George is no more. He vanishes as his robe falls to the ground*

Connor: ...Dude you just killed George Lucas.

Lucas: I'm surprised he didn't already get shot for making the prequels. 

Connor: But we still don't know where the Unaltereds are!

Light: Hey what's this? *Light finds a rolled up piece of parchment in the robe. He unrolls it*

Lucas: It's a map! A map to the unaltereds! Welp, looks like we're on a quest! A quest to find the unaltereds!

To be continued...