What Happens When Fanboys and Death Note Mix: The 4th Awakens

An old enemy is back

Ash: Wait where am I and why are you guys here anyway?!

Jay: You're at the North Pole, we'll explain later why we're here, now what's going on?

Ash: I thought I was in Canada. Anyway, this demon moose came out of nowhere and chased me.

Jay: Aw shit. Red eyes?

Ash: Yep.

Jay: Sharp teeth?

Ash: Yep.

Jay: Big ol' motherforker?

Ash: You bet.

Jay: FORK! MOOSE JAWS IS BACK. C'mon. We gotta tell the others.

And so

*everyone gathers at the workshop. Lucas walks in. Ash spots him*

Ash: Wait is that Santa Claus?

Connor: *nods*

Ash: No way! I had no idea he was real! So Santa. Did you get my list? If needed I suppose you could overlook the big booty—

Lucas: Yes I got it. Yes I'm ignoring that.

Ash: Figured.

Lucas: So you say you saw a demon moose?

Ash: Saw it? Darn thing almost forking ate me! Now why the heck can't I swear?

Lucas: Christmas magic doesn't allow swearing at the North Pole.

Ash: Well that's bullshirt.

Connor: We fought that moose before.

Light: We thought we killed him.

Jay: It ate fat boy over here. But he escaped.

L: Well, it appears that we will need to fight him again.

Ash: Well good luck with that. *starts to walk out*

Connor: Where are you going?

Ash: I'm getting the heck outta dodge.

Connor: You're not gonna help us?

Ash: Of course not! There's no way I'm risking getting killed by that seven and a half ton beast!

Everyone: 😡

Ash: Oh don't look at me like that I got better things to do!

Lucas: Mr. Williams, you DO realize who I am right?

Ash: Yeah, you're jolly ol' St. Nick.

Lucas: No no St. Nick was someone else but that's beside the point. You do realize I have a certain list I keep track of?

Ash: ...yeah.

Lucas: A certain list that I can CHANGE if needed?

Ash: I see where you're going with this now let's go kick some moose ace.

*Ash, Connor, Light, L, Jay and Silent Bob set off to fight Moose Jaws*