After I Met You

3

𝙲𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝚃𝚑𝚛𝚎𝚎

AS I CLIMB the steps to psychology, I let out a frustrated sigh and internally groan. I do not want to see him again today. It's hard enough as it is to feel his gaze literally burn into my back for a straight hour, but it's even more annoying that I can't seem to find the words to say to him. The longer we go without speaking, the more ridiculous it's becoming.

He's in the same seat as usual when I open the door. Professor Adams is at the front of the class, his bald head shining brighter than the projector screen. He's not too bad of a professor, but I think everything about this class frustrates me just because Xavier is in it too.

I go to take my spot at the front of the room, but someone else is sitting in my seat. Seriously? I know in college there aren't assigned seats, but I really think there should be. It's my seat. It's like an unspoken rule.

The only other available seat in the class is, of course, right next to Xavier. I hang my backpack on the side of the seat and try to avoid his gaze as I pull my notebook and pencil out. He's impossible to ignore though, and I eventually lock eyes with him again and can see him eye me up and down. He doesn't even try to hide it. I can't tell if that's a good or a bad thing.

His stare lingers a little too long on my breasts, and when I raise my eyebrows up at him he finally just looks back down to his folder. He shouldn't be looking at me like that. He knows what it does to me. Then again, I probably shouldn't have worn this t-shirt. It's low cut, and it was always one of his favorite's on me.

It's only when I look down at my chest that I realize I'm wearing the necklace he gave me for Christmas last year. The tiny heart shines back at me, and it's then that I realize this is what he was staring at. He probably thinks I'm crazy for wearing it still.

I want to look back down at my notebook, but my eyes are lingering on the Korean flag tattoo he has on his bicep. I remember the night he explained it to me last year. The red and blue circle with little black lines represents the land, the people and the government. Aside from the cross tattoo on his chest, that one is my favorite because it describes his heritage, and he told me it was the most meaningful tattoo he has.

He raises his eyebrows up at me now, so I tear my gaze from his finally and pick my pencil back up.

The entire class period I try to jot down notes and listen to Professor Adams rant on about the symptoms of schizophrenia, but Xavier is fucking distracting me. It's not like he's looking at me, it's just knowing the fact that he's right there. I can't help but think of the times I held him close, the times I felt so safe in his arms, and now as I'm sitting here it's hard to ignore how distant we've become. It makes me so sad.

"Hallucinations, disorganized speech and disorganized behavior." Xavier says from beside me, causing me to jump. "Those are the top three."

"Very good." Professor Adams nods, clearly impressed.

Sometimes, I forget that Xavier is trying to become a doctor. I forget that he has a 4.0 GPA. Of course, he's going to be the student kiss ass. I can already see the other students roll their eyes, but it doesn't seem to phase him any. He just looks back down to his paper and continues to take notes.

Is it bad that it turns me on though? His voice is so low and husky, and I can't help but remember all of those times he would whisper dirty things into my ear. I love the fact that he's so smart. It's fucking hot.

Elena, calm down.

I squirm in my seat and close my eyes for a second. When I open them again,  Xavier is staring. He knows me well enough to know exactly what's wrong. He knows what's running through my brain right now.