After I Met You

26

My head is thrown back in bliss as Xavier's lips and tongue roam to every section of my body that drives me mad.

We can't seem to stop doing this, and not an ounce of me wants to. He's way too good at sex for his own good. It should honestly be illegal to be this talented.

I'm tugging on his hair as his fingertips dig slightly into my skin. He's whispering so many dirty things into my ear, and in seconds I unravel myself around him, my body shaking and trembling to try and gain composure.

The smile isn't falling off my face when he finishes too and rolls off of me, disposing of the condom into the trash can beside his bed.

"Don't you have class soon?" I breathe heavily, glancing over to the clock on the nightstand.

"Yeah, but I wanted to get some of you beforehand. Do you have a problem with that?"

Grasping my hips, he pulls me back on top of him and kisses me again. His lips fit so perfectly with mine. It's like they were made specifically for me. I can't describe it.

"I also have a question." He pulls away slightly and tucks a strand of hair behind my ear. "Will you come back home with me again for winter break? I talked to my mom and she said she'd pay for your ticket again. No questions asked."

"Xavier..." I sit up on the bed and move off of him. "Why would you ask her without talking to me first?"

He looks at me with a confused expression. "I didn't think you'd care? I thought... you'd want to?"

I blink a few times as I try to come up with a response, but in all honesty I'm mad. I'm mad at myself for letting this go too far. I knew he'd get attached and it's my own damn fault. We fall too fast for each other, and just like last year I'm about to go home to see his parents again. It's too soon for that. Does he want things to end up like last time? I can't lose him again.

"It's just too soon." I blurt out. "Xav, I can't do that."

"Too soon for what?" He asks defensively. "To see my parents again? You've already met them, Elena."

"I know, but so much has happened since then. I'm trying to take this slow. I don't want things to move too fast between us."

"It's a little too late for that, don't you think?" He glances at our naked bodies and reaches down to get his briefs. I can tell he's pissed.

"Xavier, I just feel like we need to wait before I go back home with you again. Until I'm sure that-"

"That what?" He laughs. "That you want to be with me? You aren't sure of that yet? Why the hell are you sleeping with me then?"

It's not that I don't want to be with him, that's not it at all. I know now after talking with my counselor that I want to be with him, but I'm more concerned about him than me. What if I do something stupid to fuck it up again?

I know I should be thinking more positively, but this is for his future, not mine. What if I ruin his future?

"You think I'm sleeping with you just for the hell of it?" I ask.

"That's what it seems like." He shrugs.

"Wow." I deadpan, shaking my head in disbelief. "Seriously, wow."

I climb out of his bed and search for my clothes that are scattered around his room, putting on one piece of clothing at a time as he stares at me.

"Great. So you're leaving?" He asks.

I nod and slide my t-shirt over my head, scanning for my backpack. It's slung over his computer chair like usual, so I grasp it and slide it onto my shoulders. "If you even think for a second that I'm sleeping with you just for sex you're insane." I seethe. "You should know me better than that."