After I Met You

30

I never thought this would happen. Never in a million years did I think that Xavier would ever meet my mom, yet I'm staring at him shake her hand and it still seems completely unreal.

I find myself almost more nervous than I was the first time I came here. Why is that? It's not like I really care about her approval of him. Or do I? Why do I want him to make a good first impression so badly?

But it's the way he seems so at ease around her that calms my nerves. It's how he smiles, and when that dimple on his left cheek shows through from smiling so hard I catch myself mirroring the same expression.

"Xavier, I'm assuming?" My mother sends him a warm smile as she grasps onto his hand, and I'm surprised she even remembered his name. Before, she could barely remember mine.

"Yes mam." He grins so hard again that it seems like his cheeks will just fall right off of his face. "She's told you about me? Good things I hope."

"Oh, all good things. Don't worry. Please, take a seat."

We both sit down onto plastic chairs across from her, and before an awkward silence can overwhelm us, Xavier leans forward so that his elbows are resting on his knees. "I can see where she gets her eyes from." He nods. "She looks a lot like you."

My mother blushes, and I find my cheeks growing hot as well. He really has the power to just swoon any woman, doesn't he?

"I'll consider that a compliment then." She laughs. "Elena is truly gorgeous."

"That she is." Xavier agrees and turns to look at me again. I swear my whole body is on fire.

They dive into conversation about school, and when he mentions becoming a doctor my mother is clearly impressed. She tells him a story about how she was a nurse before she had me, a fact I never knew, and she goes into detail about how many times doctors were complete jerks to her, reminding Xavier not to be like that. He assures her he won't be.

I'm finding out new information about my mother as the minutes pass on, and suddenly, as I sit in this room with both of them, I find myself feeling so much... joy. I haven't used that word before in many, many years, but that's the only thing my mind can sum up these rush of feelings to. I feel like I'm in some sort of dream that I'll wake up from at any given second.

Then again, aren't I deserving of this?

Correction: I am deserving of this.

"So, how did you two meet?" My mother glances between the two of us before she looks back at Xavier with admiration dancing across her eyes as he tells her the story of the party that night with a horribly drunk Amelia. I almost laugh at the thought. That seems so long ago now.

"... and she was feisty." Xavier laughs. "I've never met a girl like her. She was so... different. In such a good way."

"I just wouldn't fall at your feet like all of the other girls did." I cut in, arching my eyebrows up towards my mother. "See, what he isn't telling you is that he was a player when I met him. I had a reason to be feisty."

"Ah." She laughs, and the sound brings back memories. It's a sound that I was always fond of. A sign that she was in a good mood. "I see."

Why is it that she just recently got help? Why couldn't she have had this revelation to get clean years ago? I could have been spared so many years of this pain. I could have let go of so much of the burdens I've been carrying on my shoulders. I've spent so much of my life resenting her, and in some ways I don't know if I'm done yet. Who knows if she's going to stay clean? What's stopping her from becoming addicted again as soon as she gets out?