After I Met You

4

𝙲𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝙵𝚘𝚞𝚛

"SO WHY DO you think you feel that way?" Steve asks. "Why is it that you feel so badly about yourself?"

"Because of the things I do." I reply bluntly. "My actions."

Somehow the end of this group session was focusing on me and my past, and that's the one thing I really don't like to talk about. I try to avoid it as much as possible.

"You don't think that this may stem from what happened to you as a child?" Steve questions.

Everyone in the group is staring directly at me. Beverly and Logan are giving me encouraging looks. I don't know why I'm so nervous to say it in front of Logan. I shouldn't be because what happened to me is not my fault. I've told myself that for years anyway after all of the counselors and medical professionals basically tried to shove that fact down my throat.

"Maybe." I shrug, biting on my bottom lip. My thumb and pointer finger start to rub together, and my leg begins to shake from being so nervous. "But I know that what happened wasn't my fault. I was an innocent child. My father just got off on touching little girls. That has nothing to do with me."

"Do you know that though, Elena?" He blinks at me, and everyone else just continues to stare. "It's one thing to say that, but it's another thing to believe it."

I blink my tears away and clear my throat. "I'm not really sure how to believe it." I say quietly. "How am I supposed to believe that I'm worthy enough of anything when my mom chose coke over me? She knew he touched me and did nothing. I certainly wasn't worth it back then, right? So what's changed now?"

"Oh, honey..." Beverly sighs, shaking her head. "You just don't get how incredibly beautiful and bright you truly are. I pray to the good lord that you realize it at some point."

"Is that time for today?" I plaster a fake smile on my face and toss my hair over my shoulder. "I've got class to get to, and I'm pretty sure it's noon, right?"

Steve sighs and clicks his pen. "Yes, Elena. You just don't seem like you're in a good place right now. Are you sure you don't want to talk for a little bit in private?"

"I'm positive. Thanks though."

I stand up from the circle before everyone else follows suit, going over to the corner per usual to grab my backpack. I normally stay to help stack the chairs, but class ran over because everyone apparently wants to get into my business today.

"Garcia." Logan jogs after me once I'm outside and finally catches up, slightly out of breath. He doesn't seem like the type to work out,  so it makes sense. "Hey, are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm good." I nod. "I just have to get to class. I'm late."

He gently grabs onto my wrist so I can spin around to face him. For the first time ever since I've known him he genuinely looks concerned. "Skip it." He suggests, a small smile coming onto his face.

"Skip it?" I ask.

"Come hang out with me for a few hours. You clearly aren't in the mood to go to class right now, and I may just happen to know a spot that'll cheer you up."

"And how do you know that?" I smirk, slowly leaning towards his hummer. "You barely know me."

"Just trust me, alright? I've never met a person that doesn't like this place."

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Was skipping psychology stupid? Probably since it was so early in the semester. But knowing that I'd get a day free of having to be tortured and see Xavier's face made it seem worth it.