After I Met You

11

𝙲𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝙴𝚕𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚗

"ELENA, COME ON." Xavier tries to tug on my hand to lift me up from the ground, but I remain dead weight.

"Leave me alone." I sob. "Haven't you hurt me enough?"

The whole entire lawn is spinning, and for a second I might just throw up. I'm crying too much, and having Xavier look at me the way he is just makes me miss him even more. I hate him so much, but yet I'm happy that he's here. I don't understand my thoughts whatsoever.

"Elena." He repeats. "Let's go."

"I don't want to go with you!" I move away from his grasp and shakily stand to my feet. The lawn spins again, but I'm able to keep my balance somehow. Xavier stands up beside me and lets out another frustrated sigh.

"I'm just trying to take you back to your dorm." He explains. "I'm not going to leave you alone like this."

"Why not?" I laugh, throwing my arms up into the air. "You sure as hell haven't given a fuck about me this past month, so why now?"

A couple of girls are leaving the party, and I recognize the girl that I shared the bathroom with. Her friends are trying to help her down the steps, but when her eyes lock with mine she sends me the biggest smile. "Bathroom girl!" She yells. "Are you good?"

Her friends look at me then back to Xavier. He looks like some guy that's trying to take advantage of me. I'm clearly not seeming like I'm wanting to go anywhere with him. I don't want him to get in trouble, so instead of shoving him off of me anymore I tell the girl that I'm fine and begin to walk to my dorm.

Xavier is close on my heels, and I'm trying so badly to walk in a straight line but I'm failing epically. The sidewalk has a ledge that I don't see, and I fling forward until Xavier's arms go around my waist. I wish the feeling of his hands on my body didn't make me feel so good.

"You didn't answer my... question." I hiccup and brush a strand of hair behind my ear that fell out from my ponytail. "Why the fuck do you care if I make it home?"

He cautiously removes his hand from my waist so that we can continue to walk before he clears his throat. "I made a promise to you last year that I intend to keep. I'm not going to let you break sobriety and spiral out of control."

"You don't have to keep your promise." I spit back. "I'm fucking fine."

He lets out another sigh and doesn't say anything back. When I trip again, he finally just picks me up so that my legs are wrapped around his waist. He's not looking me in the eyes, and his hands aren't on my ass like they normally would be. They just remain on my thighs as I lean forward and rest my head on his shoulder. The smell of mint floods through my nose from the gum in his mouth, and it feels just like home. It feels so nice.

"Why'd you drink?" He says lowly into my ear. A chill runs up my spine.

I want to tell him about my mom, I want to tell him about that stupid letter, but we haven't spoken in so long. I feel like I don't even know him anymore. He still looks the same, he still smells the same, but being in his arms I can feel how distant he still is towards me. I'm not going to open up to him again when he's still acting like an ass.

"It's not important." I finally end up saying, letting out a groan. "I just want to go to bed."

It feels like he wants to say something else, but he just shakes his head and continues to walk. Thankfully we're almost back to the dorms.

The smell of Logan from his sweatshirt makes me sad. I want to call him and apologize for everything I've done tonight. I'm such a shitty person.

"I'm such a shitty person." I repeat and slump more into his arms, trying not to cry again. All I do is cry lately. "Logan is probably so mad at me."