Chemistry (Otis Milburn)

41

I don't know why I was so surprised. Of course she wanted us to kiss. 

"Ummm, okay. I guess." Where should we take the picture?" I asked.

"Lets take it on the couch...?" He asked hesitantly. 

"Oh, come on Nick. You're an actor. Don't you do stuff like this all the time?"

"Yeah, of course I do." He gave a nervous laughter.

We both sat on the couch, there was an awkward silence for a few seconds until I finally broke it. 

"Alright, so we lean in to kiss, and you snap a photo?"

"Yes, that works." He replied.

We both leaned in and our lips locked as Nick snapped the photo. His lips were smooth and soft, I could feel his all-natural mint-flavored chapstick gently smear on my lips. We both pulled away. 

"Can I see the photo? I asked. 

He turned his phone screen so I could see it. "Not bad, right?" He replied. 

He suddenly looked up at me again as our eyes met. I felt him and myself both leaning towards each other again, our eyes still locked on each other. He grabbed both sides of my face as our lips locked once again, I felt him gently pull on my hair as his hands slowly made their way down to my waist. A few seconds in, and he quickly let go. 

"I- am sorry I don't know why I-" He stood up abruptly. 

"Let's go see Otis." I responded nervously as I stood up and walked towards the door, him following me. 

Although I realized I had feelings for Nick, something didn't feel right. Something felt out of place. I tried to convince myself that it was just timing- that the next time we kissed and everything was better-that it would feel just right. I didn't know when that was going to be, but I tried to convince myself the whole silent car ride to Otis's house that that was the reason. 

Otis was laying in bed when we went to visit him. He looked much better than he did back at the hospital. I gave him the biggest hug. 

"How are you feeling?" I asked. 

"Better. How are you doing? 

"Don't worry about me. If you're okay, then I'm okay."

"Have you been going to school?" He asked.

"I haven't been to school in over a week, Otis."

"A week? Vivienne please, go to school. You're going to fall behind and you're not going to pass."

"I can't think about anything else except for you." I tried to hold my tears before they came flooding down my cheeks. 

He suddenly went silent, and gave me a deep glare. "Why are you always playing the victim?"

"What are you talking about Ot-"

"Oh, shut up already! You toss your friends around like a ball, lie, and constantly keep secrets, and still somehow manage to act like everyone else is to blame except you."

I didn't know what to say. I didn't know where this came from or why he was saying all of this. Did he feel this way this whole time?

"I'm sorry, but the fact that I'm here because I got shot for no reason when I could be living my life and going to school and working on our chemistry project like a normal kid is really starting to get to me. I'm in a situation that shouldn't have been a situation in the first place. I just don't understand why you have to be so problematic. Just because you're a famous supermodel doesn't mean you have to create unnecessary drama and make the world revolve around you all the time. I thought you were tired of attention, but the way I'm seeing it, that's what keeps you going and it's the only thing you really feed off of.  And I can't say I haven't lied either, because I did lie about one thing: all of this is your fault. I lied when I said it wasn't, but who am I kidding? I'm in this goddamn situation because of you!"

I sat there with empty, drained eyes full of tears looking straight at him.

"If I am all these things and this is how you truly feel about me, then why the hell did you continue to be my friend?! Why didn't you just leave like everyone else does?" I cried out. 

"Because I- I'm in love with you! That's why."