Chemistry (Otis Milburn)

51

That night, I went back to the same place I met Emilia, hoping I'd see her again. I snuck out of my room and walked over as quietly as I could, tiptoeing my way over. I hid behind the couch in case someone else walked by. I heard someone walking towards me, the footsteps getting louder and faster. My heart was racing. 

The footsteps turned quiet as they slowly approached me. 

"Vivienne?" It was Emilia. I sighed in relief and the room suddenly turned colder than it was before.

"Em! I'm so glad you're here. I wanted to see you. My career is falling apart. I'm losing my friends. I need to get out. My 72-hour hold ends tomorrow which means I can leave, right?" 

"Well, Vivienne yes it does mean you are able to leave, but your doctor has to approve it first. I don't know if h-" 

"You don't understand, Em. My career is on the line. I had to go through so much to get where I am. I can't let it go to waste." I started to bawl.

She was silent. Her hollow, blue eyes staring back at me. 

"Vivienne, what is it that you want exactly? You seem to want one thing and the next day you change your mind and want something else. What exactly do you want?"

I took a long pause. 

"I want to let go. I want to let go of all of my problems. Apologize to everyone that deserves an apology. I want to make things right. I want an unproblematic career where I can be myself. I've made huge mistakes and I have to forgive myself because I'm human. I've changed. I don't need months of healing. I just needed some time away from everything and talk to people who were willing to listen, like you and Dr. Rodriguez. I am ready to leave."

Em reached her pale, icy hand out and walked me to the hallway that led towards the entrance. 

"The things you want are on the other side. If you say you've fixed what's on the inside, I can't stop you from leaving. Are you sure you're ready, Vivienne?"

I stared at the hallway. I imagined going back home to Nick and Otis and apologizing until my voice cracked. I imagined walking on set of my movie and acting my heart out. I pictured going back to school and finishing our chemistry project. Graduating. Speaking up for myself and telling the truth. I was ready to have my life back.

"Ready." I smiled.