Chemistry (Otis Milburn)

45 (Otis's P.O.V)

TW: MENTION OF SUICIDE 

No, it didn't hit me right at that moment what I was actually reading. It didn't register that I was holding Vivienne's suicide note. I read it over three times to fully grasp everything, but I just couldn't. I didn't want to accept the fact that Vivienne was crying for help and I couldn't do anything to help her.

I got out of bed and made my way over to Nick's house with her note in my pocket. Her words circled around my head like a pest as I prayed she was still alive. I knew I shouldn't be going near that house, but I didn't know what else to do. 

Once I got there, I rang the doorbell and peeked through the window. There was no one there. I desperately looked through the other windows of the house and constantly was ringing the doorbell, but I received no response. 

I took a step back, not quite sure what to do. I didn't have Nick's contact information and Vivienne wasn't going to answer.

I got a phone call from an unfamiliar number. 

"Hello?"

"Otis, it's Nick. I got your number from Vivienne's phone. Not sure if you know this, or if you care- but Vivienne attempted suicide last night. She's alive, but she's being transferred over to a mental institution." 

"Where are you now?" I asked. 

"I'm on my way back home. Are you able to meet at my place? I wanted to talk.

"See you soon." I hung up and sat near a bush until Nick arrived. 

He gave me a weak smile as he motioned me to step into the house. His tired eyes didn't leave the ground as he gently placed his keys on the counter and walked over to the couch. He sat down and put his hands over his face. 

"I don't know what happened. I had made breakfast for her. She's usually up pretty early, but not this morning. 9:00 am became 10:00 am became 11:00 am. I went upstairs and she was unconscious on her bed with some pills in her hand. I called the ambulance and they took her to the hospital. They said I had caught her right on time." He gave a sigh and looked over at me, waiting for a response. 

"Did she leave you a note?" I was curious to see if she left Nick one, too. 

"No. the only piece of evidence was the pills. Nothing else." 

"Why were you such an asshole to her over the past week?" He abruptly asked. 

"I'm an asshole? Just for wanting the truth so I knew wether or not Vivienne was in danger so I could help her? Yeah, I'm definitely an asshole, Nick." I started pacing back and forth.

"Stalkers, hiding at school during lunch, being constantly paranoid, I couldn't stand seeing her like that so I had no option." I went on.

"Why didn't you just back off, Otis? You didn't understand anything Vivienne was going through. I should've warned h-"

"I almost got shot for fuck's sake, Nick! I almost died because I cared about Vivienne so much and it nearly killed me. The fact that it happened here and I am back speaks for itself. I know what I told her was insensitive about me calling the police but we are all guilty here one way or another." 

He went deep into thought. "You know what, maybe you're right. None of us actually listened to her. She was screaming for help, and we did nothing about it. I have to call our agents. Here is the address to the ward if you want to go tomorrow. Or we can go together. Let me know what you plan on doing." 

I nodded as I walk out the door.

The next morning, I decided to go by myself. I told Nick I wanted to speak to Vivienne alone. The hospital was a half hour drive, and my stomach was turning the whole way. I did nothing but blame myself in my head, thinking that if I didn't threaten to call the police that she would have still been here today. I should have just let her go when I had the opportunity. 

The hospital had very modern architecture. All grey, large glass windows, and a huge grass area. I went inside and told them I came to visit someone. I was nervous about whether or not she was going to want to see me.

I waited for about 10 minutes as she walked in. She walked in, wearing what looked like a white, over-sized t shirt, slip ons, and white socks with her hair tied in a ponytail. She didn't take her eyes off of the ground until she was face to face with me.

"Hey."