Chemistry (Otis Milburn)

49

Emilia. 

I couldn't stop thinking about her- about everything she had told me. It was as if she had known me her whole life. It was just something about her. Her vibrant presence. Her gentle voice. Her cold but comforting touch. She didn't feel real. 

I had group therapy after breakfast and headed over to the room. It was empty inside, with the exception of 6 chairs placed in a circular shape. One person was there, and I went over and sat across from her. She was tall and well-dressed, sitting cross-legged and adjusting her glasses every few seconds. 

"Welcome. I'm Dr. Rodriguez. I will be leading your group therapy session. Is this your first time here?" She greeted me.

"Yes. Nice to meet you."

"What is your name?" She politely asked.

"Vivienne Parker." I smiled. 

"Nice to meet you, Vivienne." 

 My eager eyes were glued to the door, hoping to see Emilia again. I had so many questions for her. I turned and noticed Dr. Rodriguez studying me. 

"Vivienne! Have we met before? Are you sure you haven't been to any of our sessions?" 

"Yes. Why?" I already knew where she was going with this. 

"No problem. You just look so familiar, that's all!" She went into thought. I was desperately hoping she hadn't recognized me. 

"Alright everyone! Hello, welcome in. Let's begin."

The session wasn't as bad as I had thought. I had to participate a few times, and tried to express my issues without having to say everything that had actually happened. Then, Dr. Rodriguez would've definitely known who I was. 

However, it turns out Dr. Rodriguez was undoubtedly an expert.

 I walked out of the door and heard her calling my name.

"Vivienne, wait!" As much as I wanted to keep walking, I stopped. 

"You did a great job today. Can I speak to you privately?" 

"Sure." 

She took me back in the group therapy room and waited until everyone had left.

"From what you had briefly mentioned during our session, you've been going through quite a lot. Can you elaborate?"

I told her everything, leaving names and agents and fame out of the picture. I even mentioned talking to Emilia and everything she had told me last night, but didn't mention her name. What used to be a diary with a key and lock was now an open book. For the first time in a long time, I felt relieved. The best part was that she listened through it all. 

"Vivienne, you went through a tremendous amount of emotionally draining, traumatic experiences in a fairly short amount of time. I want to tell you something important and please don't forget this. Free yourself from your mind and ego, and everything will fall into place." 

"What do you mean?" I asked, confused. 

"You're spending so much time overthinking, worrying about what others will think. It's time to shift the focus towards yourself and your wants and needs." 

"I've been in my career field a very long time, Vivienne. There are many who are victims of their own minds who drive themselves to sanity." 

I thought about what she said. The more she talked the more I realized how right she was. I don't remember the last time I did something solely for myself or for my own happiness. I even tried taking my own life for other people. 

"I have a session later today, too. I will be expecting you." She smiled and led me to the door. 

"Think about everything I told you, Vivienne." I nodded left.

"Wait! Dr. Rodriguez! The girl I told you I met, her name is Emilia. Do you happen to know her? I've been looking for her and I haven't seen her at all." She went into thought. 

"Her name doesn't ring a bell. You might want to ask Mabel. She's a nurse here and has worked here longer than anyone. She's a great person to ask." 

"Thank you!" I ran out, on my quest to find Mabel. 

After asking 3 nurses and an older patient, I was able to find her. She was out in the garden, talking to a patient near the roses. She had a fairly petite figure, pale and her skin delicate. She looked no older than 60, and had grey and white hair wrapped in a bun. 

She saw me sneaking up next to her and gave me a warm greeting. 

"Hello young lady. What is your name?" She asked.

"Vivienne. You must be Mabel." I responded. 

"Indeed!" She gave a slight chuckle. 

"I had a question, Mabel." She turned over to the other patient and waved him goodbye. She walked over towards me, gesturing we go for a walk. 

"Of course sweetheart. What is it?"

"I wanted to know if you knew a girl named Emilia. She has blonde hair, freckles, very quirk-"

Mabel had the biggest smile on her face and began to chuckle. "Emilia! How could I forget her? That girl was truly one of a kind. Oh, how I miss her dearly."

"W-What do you mean you miss her dearly?" I asked.

"My poor Emilia- she was my favorite. She had died a few years back. I wish I was there that night; maybe I could've done something, but I didn't know."