Fall Out

Chapter 33

Accept

"Aria, nakahanda na ang hapunan. Tawag ka na ng Mommy mo sa baba." Manang said in a gentle voice. She's outside my room.

"Hindi pa po ako gutom, Manang. Bababa na lang po ako mamaya!" Nilakasan ko ang boses ko, sapat na para marinig niya mula sa labas. I am in a prostrated position. I heard her footsteps leaving my room.

Minutes later, I heard another knock. Ipinikit ko na lang ang mata ko at hindi pinansin kung sino man ang kumatok.

"Aria." Malumanay na boses ni Mommy ang tumawag sakin. "Open the door." She knocked again.

Tumayo ako sa pagkakadapa sa kama at pumunta sa pintuan para buksan iyon. I opened my door a bit, just enough space for my head.

"Mauna na po kayo." I said in a small voice.

"Can I come in?"

Tinitigan ko si Mommy ng ilang saglit bago tumango at binuksan ng tuluyan ang pinto. Umupo kami sa paanan ng kama ko.

"You can tell how you feel." Masuyong nakatingin sakin si Mommy. Her eyes were telling me to open up with her.

"Have you experience a heart break, Mommy?" The pain is still evident in my voice.

"Of course. Before your father came, someone already broke my heart. I know what you're feeling."

"How can you get over it?" I am looking at my mother intently. I am eager to know how she overcome the pain.

"Your father helped me. He gave me the love I deserve. That's why I learned to love him back." She smiled at me.

"Will that work for me? I love him too much. I can't see myself loving someone again." Naramdaman ko ang pag iinit ng gilid ng mga mata ko. Ayoko na. Pagod na akong umiyak.

"You're still young. Sinasabi mo lang 'yan sa ngayon kasi nasasaktan ka. You'll forget him in time." She wiped the tears on my cheeks. I did not noticed that I'm already crying. She went closer to me and enveloped me in a hug.

"I want this pain to disappear already." I said in between sobs.

"Hush. You will." She caressed my hair. "I'll be with you until you become okay." I can feel the comfort of a mother, the way she hugged me and caressed my hair. Hindi ko alam kung kailan nagbago ang pakikitungo sa akin ni Mommy. Naramdaman ko na lang na ayos na kami. Our family was back from how we were before, kung gaano kami kasaya at magmahalan.

Kinabukasan, nagulat na lang ako nang pinag impake ako nila Daddy. Hindi ko alam na nagplano pala sila ng vacation trip. It was a one week vacation to Palawan. Graduation gift daw nila sa akin.

I was mesmerized by the beauty of the island. This is the first time I came here. Hindi kasi mahilig sila Mommy sa mga ganito, at hindi naman kami nakakapunta ni Noelle sa malayo katulad ng Palawan.

On our first three days, wala kaming ibang ginawa kundi magswimming at mag try ng mga water sport. Ngayong araw, hindi ko pa alam ang gagawin namin. Pumunta ako sa kwarto nila Daddy pero naabutan ko silang nag aayos ng gamit.

"Uuwi na po ba tayo?" Nagtatakang tanong ko.

Nagkatinginan silang dalawa, nagtuturuan kung sino ang magsasalita. Naantala lang 'yon dahil sa katok sa pinto.

"Buksan mo muna ang pintuan." Utos sa akin ni Daddy. Nagtataka pa rin ako pero sumunod din para buksan ang pinto.

"Surprise!"

I was shocked for a moment, but then I smiled at them. Noelle, Dustin and Ryker were standing in front of me.

"What are you guys doing here?" I asked, the smile is still plastered on my face.

"Hindi mo muna ba kami papapasukin?" Noelle playfully said.

"Sorry." I chuckled. Niluwagan ko ang pagkakabukas sa pinto at pinapasok sila. I offered the sofa for them to sit.

"Hello Tita, Tito!" They all greet in chorus.

"Thank you for granting our request." Mommy said and smiled at my friends.

"It's our pleasure, Tita." Masiglang sabi ni Ryker. Nagtatanong ang mga mata kong tumingin sa kanila.

"Ano pong meron?"

"We invited them here, because we know you'll like it." Si Daddy ang sumagot.

"Thank you, Mommy, Dad." I looked at them softly. "I know you're doing all these to make me happy."

"That's all what we want." Daddy said. I went to them and hug them both. We tear our hugs after a moment.

"We're leaving, that's why we're packing our things a while ago. Kayo nang bahala dito. May trabahong nag hihintay samin." Mommy said. They went to their room to get their things.

"Take care." I kissed their cheeks.

I can't help but think about him, hindi na yata maiiwasan iyon. I also miss hanging out with Anne. Ang tagal ko na siyang hindi nakikita. Hindi naman siguro magbabago ang pagkakaibigan namin dahil sa nangyari samin ni Wren? I hoped so.

I don't know if my parents invited her here, but I accidentally heard from Noelle that they're on a vacation too. Kaya hindi din naman siya makakapunta dito kung in-invite siya nila Mommy.

"Aria! Huwag ka mag senti dyan! Come one, let's swim!" Ryker shouted. He's on the water, while I'm lying on the beach blanket, not so far with them. Papalubog na ang araw kaya napagpasyahan ko na ring maligo sa dagat.

I was already near the water when I saw Wren from afar! Instead of going to Ryker, I went to where I saw Wren, but he's not here! Am I just hallucinating? Did I missed him that much? But I'm sure it's him!

"Saan ka pupunta?" Noelle spoke from my behind. Sinundan niya pala ako. I turned my back to face her.

"Wren is here. I saw him." Sabi ko sa natatarantang boses. Lumingon ako sa paligid. She did the same.

"That's impossible. They're out of the country. Baka kawahig lang, Aria." Mahinang sabi niya. She's looking at me with pitty in her eyes.

"I miss him." Nagsimula nang manubig ang mga mata ko.

"Aria..." She said in a worried voice.

"Don't mind me." I wiped my eyes using the back of my hand and smile. "I'm okay." I said, but it sounds like I'm just convincing myself.

"I know you're not...but you will be." She wiped my cheeks before hugging me.

"Let's go back to our room." She held my hand.

"I want some drinks. Let's go to a bar."

"O-okay." Nag alangan pa siya pero sumang ayon din.

Pinaahon na namin yung boys. I also got the beach blanket from where I've been earlier. Sinuot ko ang cover up ko at dumiretso na kami sa maliit na bar sa malapit.

"Do you want him back?" Noelle asked out of the blue. Hindi ko na minention pa ulit si Wren kanina, pero napansin siguro ni Noelle ang pananahimik ko at inisip na iniisip ko si Wren...Well, it's kinda true.

"I don't know. I partly wants him back, but there's a part in me that didn't want him in my life anymore." I said while staring at my drink. "What do you think?" I asked. As if he wanted me back, though.

"Sa totoo lang nanghinayang ako sa inyo, but what he did to you was unforgivable. I don't want him for you anymore." She said with gritted teeth.

That night, we talked more about him and it gave realizations for me.

I still cried at night thinking about him and what's wrong with me. Why did he leave me? Why did his feelings for me suddenly gone? I want answers beacuse it still not clear for me.

But as the time goes by, I slowly accepting that I wouldn't get any more explanations from him to make my mind at peace. I slowly accepting that he's not coming back anymore.