How to be a horrible person - A beginners guide to life

Stages of Life

Being born was easy enough. At least for you, it was and that is what really matters. The first few years after your birth will be forever lost from your memory for two good reasons: Firstly, they do not matter and secondly because your level of confidence would never recover if you ever remembered this time. If all humans were lacking in confidence, the most heinous things might never have happened.

The significance of your producers may be acknowledged or not, who cares.

Your first few memories mark the beginning of any significance your life may have. If you do not stay friends with the people that you have shared your first few memories with, you are undoubtedly at fault. The environment you were born into was part of a greater plan that nobody understands but that everybody needs to be aware of. If you lose friends or if you do not fit in during any stage of your younger years, you are a disturbance to the great big plan that holds the universe together. This makes you an infidel.

Choosing the right friends at an age where you cannot walk and barely talk is a requirement for a successful life. Hold onto the choices you made while your brain was still underdeveloped at all costs.

After beginning to walk and learning about the importance of family and friendship, it is time to separate you from both and send you off to school. Here you can make new friends. More friends. Better friends. The kind that does not need to have an actual emotional connection to you. Relationships always are a lot easier when they do not require any level of authenticity.

The absence of feelings and a craving for meaningfulness are absolutely necessary to maximize the enjoyment of your school years. Both of these things should be diminished as best as possible. That is what 12 years of this system should teach you. If you have any problems with this, take Adderall.

After school, sooner or later, you are going to have to start worrying about the most important thing that there is though: Money if you are a man, Marriage if you are a woman.

This is the time when it is going to really pay off if you have managed to effectively stop striving for any meaning in your life.

Still, there are so many options: Will you study? What will you study and where? Will you start looking for work immediately? Take a year off? Live off welfare? Which man has enough money for you? Could you maybe anger your parents by not getting married?

All of these options hold the potential for you to become the most horrible you that you can be. Consciously living off welfare even though you are in fact able to work and could be paying back your debt to society obviously has its upsides. You might think it requires less thinking to be unethical when choosing this path in life.

A student's life could be unethical even though you will most likely be forced to spend money on an education system that is partly responsible for enabling a more or less functioning society. Paying for your own education will also mean that at least from a financial perspective, you will no longer be taking your teachers for granted.

Depending on your producers, the true value of money will come to you sooner or later.

If you absolutely cannot give up on the idea of having a meaningful life, it is not too late to start taking Adderall now. Other drugs may also do the trick.

If you do not decide to live off welfare, this means that sooner or later you are going to have to enter the job market. The job market may be very different from the world you grew up in. It is much bigger, and much more versatile.

You may think that entering the job market would force you to become a productive member of society, somebody who actually contributes. You are wrong. All you get to do is contribute to someone else's pursuit of meaninglessness. But that is ok because the true reason you got a job is not so that you could contribute. You just felt it was your right to feel superior to the people who were not working. And now you do. Also, you got a PlayStation and a bigger apartment.

The choice of a life-partner becomes more and more important and depending on your gender you will be pressured at different points in your life to commit to someone. It is very important that this someone does not only meet traditional beauty standards such as height, weight, body fat to muscle ratio, the right number of limbs, clothes, skin, eye, and hair color. Your life-partner needs to be in your socio-economic class. The gender of your life-partner has to be the opposite of your gender and your gender has to be the one you were biologically born with. But really, the choice is all yours. You can choose anyone that falls in the range of your culturally pre-tailored limitations. But you are going to be judged on that choice for the rest of your life, no pressure.