Gunner (EDITED/REWRITTEN)

13- Aria (EDITED)

I stood at my bathroom sink, cold water running while looking at my reflection and reflecting on the last couple of weeks of my time spent with Gunner. I don't know what I got myself into, as I've endured more physical, mental, and emotional experiences than I have ever dealt with my entire life, and it has me feeling a little stressed.

However, when I think back to everything Gunner has taught me and wished for me to experience, I now see them as positive experiences, not negative ones. And the more time I spend with him, the more I'm falling for the type of guy I always told myself I wouldn't.

Every day I look forward to seeing him, and when I do, my heart goes wacky, my body numbs, and my mind races with dirty thoughts—thinking naughty things I would never have before.

And it has me asking, how does one fall for someone so quick as I have?

I love how he makes me feel whenever I'm with him; I also love the feeling of being in his arms and the feeling of his soft, moist lips every time his mouth connects with mine.

I'm a completely different person when I'm around him. And I'm confused by it. Because I keep asking myself, am I only doing this for him, or am I acting the way I do around Gunner because it's the true me?

That's where I'm feeling stressed.

Because right now, I don't know who I am anymore.

I do know that I love how in tune Gunner is with me. And how he understands me more than I know myself. He seems to know my likes and dislikes—something I can't figure out myself.

Gunner knows exactly how to satisfy me sexually and where all the right areas are to bring me to the highest sexual arousal, I've ever experienced. As a result, my desire to have sex has been at the highest it's ever been. And lately, I'm feeling quite sexually frustrated.

He gets me all wound up, excited, hot, wet, extremely horny, and only wants to give me an orgasm with his mouth, tongue, and fingers.

What is up with that?

I've been throwing myself at him lately. I've tried baiting him, but he's like a fish who isn't hungry, that only wishes to play. So he teases my bait, hooks on for a second, but then lets go, and then we're done for the night.

What do I have to do to get him to make love to me?

Is there something wrong with me?

Is he one of those celibate kinds of guys that only get off on exciting women the way he has with me?

Does he go home and masturbate to relieve his sexual buildup?

It's all so frustrating.

Every day I wonder what it would be like with him underneath the bedsheets. Because if he knows how to use his fingers, mouth, and tongue to make me orgasm the way he does, I'm sure it's just as impressive when he uses his sex pistol.

God, I feel like such a whore for thinking this way.

I know I'm not, but I just can't help but think about what it would be like to be with him. And here I used to think my ex was good in bed, but the longer I think about Gunner's sexually satisfying ways and how happy he's made me feel, something tells me Gunner is far more superior in bed than him. Gunner's already shown he's much better at using his mouth and tongue than my ex.

And now it has me heavily thinking that with all the sexual activity Gunner's been doing to me these last couple of weeks, that if he hasn't gone home to masturbate, he's so full of buildup that if and when we ever have sex, his pistol will go off like a machine gun.