The Emperor's Concubine

Chapter Nine

I sprint outside, too terrified to look behind from the fear of seeing the queen chasing after me.

Dashing to the garden, tears drip down my cheeks as I finally look back to see the quiet golden palace. Standing in the open field between the royal palace and the golden palace, I feel my lungs untighten—finally able to breathe. Wiping my eyes, I can only pant as I gasp for air—holding my throat as the feeling of her hands gripped around my neck still lingers.

"You -" A deep voice calls out.

Looking behind, the same guard from before walks towards me.
Noticeably his gaze changes, taken aback from my state. Feeling ashamed by showing a disgraceful expression, I turn my back on him to quickly try to wipe away my tears.

"You're crying?" He cautiously questions, his footsteps approaching closer.
"N-No, I'm just -" Unable to think of an excuse, I trail off as I hold back my sobs.

Moving to stand in front of me, he peers down at my face. His orange-amber eyes glow intimidatingly but strikes no fear in me.
I take a deep ragged breath, attempting to compose myself.

"Explain yourself." He says with a deep voice, yet his tone seems calm and gentle.
"I-It's a long story."
"And? Given the state you're in, I would expect a long story to follow. Are you... Are you comfortable talking about it?" He cautiously asks.
"It's just... Y-You know how the emperor and his knights found me, right?" I look at his expression.

Showing no change in emotions, he silently nods with slightly furrowed brows.

"Well... When I turned eight, that's when it began... I was taught lessons about pleasing a husband, my duties as a woman and values I should adhere to... Those lessons were sickening, and I eventually convinced a maid to sneak in books for me. She brought books of other kingdoms, stories, and even told me tales of different things she's seen in her life... W-When father found out that I filled my head with lies, with nonsense..."

Unable to hold back my fears and pain any longer, tears trickle down my cheeks as I recall my past.

"They beat me... Every day I would be hit. The knights hunted me down, just to ensure I was given my punishment. They locked me in that room and starved me for days under the guise of cleansing me, and even after being out of confinement, they would hurt me again—all to get rid of my thoughts. All because I had tainted myself by learning about life beyond the kingdom walls..." I close my eyes, taking a deep breath as I wipe my tears with the back of my hand.
"What else happened? What's making you cry like this?" He hesitantly asks, his eyes downcast as his brows furrow more.
"My family's dead, I remember seeing their corpses yet... No matter how hard I try to forget, they come back to haunt me. They hurt me in my dreams, they haunt me when I'm awake... It's as if, no matter where I go or what I do—I'll always be my brother's bride." Honestly speaking, I give a slight pained smile as tears continue to fall down my cheeks.

The guard lifts his head to meet my eyes. His eyes slightly widened, faintly taken aback.

"You were meant to marry him?" He whispers, taking in my words.

I nod, giving a small-embarrassed smile as I reveal my shameful past. Taking a deep breath, I look to the stars to avoid seeing the possible judgement in his stare.

"I have nightmares of my mother being in the golden palace. She hurts me and the pain still lingers to the point where I question if she was there. I have nightmares of still being trapped in that horrifying room, and I have nightmares of my brother trying to force himself onto me from our father's orders..." I cry harder, holding myself as I tighten my grip on my arms.

Suddenly, a cloth is thrown in my direction.
I look up to see the guard's beige cape, fluttering in the wind as he places it on my shoulders.

"S-Sir?" I whisper, stunned by his gesture.
"Hayden... My name is Hayden." He quietly speaks, looking back at my eyes with a sullen gaze.

The sudden warmth on my shoulders, I muster up the courage to smile through my tears—regaining my composure.
I curtsy towards him.

"Sir Hayden, it's lovely to be acquainted with you." I lightly giggle, wiping my tears away.

I watch him scowl, attempting to be indifferent to my friendliness—but he doesn't seem to hate it.

Hugging the cloak tighter around my body, the shame that hangs over me for my family's beliefs, dissipates as he upholds his usual composure. Realizing his stares weren't of judgement, my uneasiness is quickly settled.

"I apologize for sharing such a story." I smile, feeling lighter after crying and confiding my past in another.
"You shared it already, why regret it?" Hayden's brow lifts as he flashes a confident expression, "If it'll help you sleep tonight, shall I stand guard for you?"

Upon asking, he quickly makes a slight scowl after speaking.

"T-There's no need to feel obligated to offer -"
"No, my apologies. I didn't mean to act that way, I simply realized I was needed tonight." He sighs, sheepishly avoiding my eyes.
"Oh, you could have just said so."

Adjusting to return the cape back to him, in a swift instant a soft breeze tickles my cheek.

I look up surprised to see Hayden standing close before me. His eyes looking down at me from his remarkable height—I'm taken aback as he fixes the cape tightly around my shoulders.

"Keep this for now. It's been blessed by a priest and carries powers to protect. Surely, it can provide some protection from nightmares as well." His voice tickles my ears, sending shivers down my spine as he gently speaks.

Lost for a moment as we stare into each other's eyes, I'm brought out of my daze as I notice a slight red glow underneath the orange hue of his eyes.

"H-Have your eyes always been that color? -" I ask but cut off when Hayden quickly turns his face away.
"See to it that you safely return to your bedroom. I'll have to part ways from here." Hayden quickly speaks, walking away.

I smile slightly, watching him hastily leave towards the royal palace.

"Thank you..." I whisper, my chest feeling lighter as I hold onto the cape.

Hayden quickly disappears beyond the emperor's garden as I remain standing in the garden. The image of him lingers in my mind—taking me by surprise.

Even if his gaze feel intimidating, I'm relieved that his stares don't hold vulgar thoughts or judgement. Shaking my head from my spiraling thoughts, I grip the warm cloak closer, mustering my courage to return to the golden palace.