The Emperor's Concubine

B.2 Chapter Thirty-Five

I run out to the garden, staring out at the scene of flowers being pummelled by the harsh rain.
The rain hits my body, causing a chill to run down my back.
My chest grows numb as I take rapid breaths, remembering the image of Cabel and my younger sister kissing.

"Luna?"

I turn to see Riddle, lowering his hood as he looks back at me surprised.
"Riddle..." I whisper, a feeling of disgust washing over me.
Instantly, I cover my mouth with my hand.
My stomach churns as I bend over to puke.
"H-Hey! What's wrong?" Riddle shouts, running up to me.
His hand gently rubs my back, taking a handkerchief out of his pocket.
I tremble as he wipes my mouth.
"C'mon, let's get out of the rain and talk." Riddle slides his cloak over my shoulders, helping me to stand up.
I nod, my body coldly numb as I think about Cabel.
Riddle sighs, turning back to me.
"Huh?" I jump, surprised by his actions.
He gently picks me up in his arms.
"Riddle, I-I can walk." I call out.
"No, you can't. You literally just vomited. I'll take you inside quick." He speaks, adjusting the hood to block the rain from me.
I nod slightly.
"Thank you..." I whisper, my voice cracking as I tremble.
I feel his gaze on me as he gives a worrisome look and a nod.
He briskly walks, carrying me to the knights living quarters.

He sets me down on his bed, drying my hair with a towel.
"Luna, what's wrong?" He asks, kneeling in front of me.
"C-Cabel... He..." My hands begin trembling as a lump grows in my throat.
"What did he do?"
"I... I walked into his office... And I saw him kissing-" I mutter, covering my mouth with my hand again.
"What? Kissing who?" He asks, rubbing my back.
"H-He... He was kissing Esmerelda..." I whisper, my voice cracking as I'm reminded of the memory.
"What?" Riddle exclaims, "He kissed Esmerelda?"
I nod lightly, unable to come out of my daze.
"Your eleven year old sister?" Riddle exclaims.
I pause, quickly covering my mouth, feeling as though I'm going to be sick again.
Riddle grabs a bin, holding it out to me.
"It's okay. Here, have some water." He stands, pouring a glass of water for me.
He hands me the glass.
I take a sip, feeling my stomach twist.
I take deep breaths, trying to calm down as the cold numb sensation grows stronger.
Riddle kneels down in front of me again, refilling my glass.
"Hey... You don't need to talk about it, if you don't want to... But what the hell happened?" He asks, looking back at me with worry.
"I-I don't know. I walked into his office and Cabel was sitting in his chair, holding Esmerelda... Esmerelda just turned and said Cabel told her he loved her. I-I don't understand where any of this is coming from. He never showed any interest to her, and just treated her kindly because she's my sister..." I think out loud, calming down as I voice my confusion.
"Luna... I'm sorry."
Riddle gently hugs me.
My eyes widen at his cautious actions.
His arms wrap around me, his hand rubbing my back.
"You don't need to apologize-"
"I do though." Riddle cuts me off, tightening his arms around me, "I'm sorry... I suck at this shit... I suck at talking and comforting someone, so I don't know the right words to say to you... I know it's meaningless, but I'm sorry because I can't lessen the pain... I-I'm so sorry for how much pain you're in, I'm sorry you keep suppressing any pain you go through."
"I-I'm okay. I don't suppress any of it-"
"You do."
I sit quietly, listening to his rough sounding voice.
"I know how shitty it feels... I know how shitty it is to want to cry and scream, to deal with the god damned heartache that comes, but having to do your best to stay calm... If you're hurt just say it. If you hate how it feels, tell me how it feels. Say anything other than 'I'm okay'. Please, talk to me. I can't give you the right words to ease the pain, but I can listen so you're not alone."
"I..." I bite my tongue.
Every traumatic memory, every memory of suppressing my emotions of fear, anger, and sadness coming back to me.
I look back at Riddle.
His eyes filled with worry but sorrow.
The look in his eyes showing me that he's been through similar pain I've been in.

The conversation I overheard Cethin and Cabel have, coming back to me.
Their friend Cain.
Riddle watched his friend be murdered.
The anger, loneliness, and frustration Riddle feels from losing a friend, showing in his eyes.