The Emperor's Concubine

Chapter Seventy-Four

I sip my tea, reading the textbooks.
Picking up a pen, I scribble down notes.
I study for hours, engulfed with the readings.

"Psst."

I hear someone call out.
I look around the room.
A light knocking taps on my window.
I turn to see Cethin on the window sill, getting drenched with rain.
"Oh my god!" I rush to the window, unlocking it.
Cethin jumps in, shaking the water off.
"What are you doing here?" I exclaim, grabbing a towel.
"You disappeared! You didn't even say bye or anything!" Cethin shouts, upset.
I stare dumbfounded as he raises his voice.
I dry his hair as I try to explain myself.
"I-I know... I wasn't thinking, I didn't mean to disappear."
"Yeah, but you did. Jeez, thought we were friends."
"Cethin, we are... A lot has happened."
"What the hell even happened to you! Why are you here?" Cethin takes the towel, throwing it on the bed.
I sigh, bringing him to the table.
I sit him down, sitting across from him.
"Cethin... My title as a concubine was taken."
"What?" Cethin shouts, shocked.
"His highness gave back my previous title and told me to leave."
"What the hell! Why'd he do that?"
"I'm not useful to him, that's why..." My throat chokes up as the thoughts I tried to ignore, begin to resurface.
"What do you mean?"
"Exactly that. He said I'm not useful to him anymore."
"What the hell? He's having fits of rage and I found out you disappeared. I thought you ran away or something."
"I didn't though? He told me to leave, so I left."
"To the duke's?"
"Well, yes. He's been helping me."
"Oh my god, no wonder he's so pissed."
"What?"
"He's probably mad you ran away with another man!" Cethin sighs, shaking his head.
"That's not it! He told me to leave. He even asked his grace to let me stay here!"
"Either way, he isn't happy."
"T-This is what he wanted! I don't know what you want me to do about it, I can't do anything about it now..."
"I know. I'm not telling you to do anything, but I thought you should know."
"I... I don't want to know, I want to focus on moving on and forgetting about him."
A small moment of silence falls on us.
"...Will you forget about us too?" Cethin breaks the silence.
I look back at him, his eyes filled with sorrow.
"What? Of course not!"
"Can you even be sure?" Cethin exclaims, wiping his eyes from the built up tears, "God damn it, this is so stupid!"
I hand him a handkerchief as tears run down his face.
"W-Why are you crying?" I ask, worried.
"It's none of your business!" He mutters.
"Cethin... You're crying... Why? I'm sorry if I hurt you."
"Damn it, you didn't do anything. I'm just being stupid."
"Cethin... What's wrong? Please tell me."
He looks back at me, wiping his eyes. Taking a deep breath, he scoffs.
"It's just... Listen, I... I was a prince before I became this..."
"You were a prince?" I repeat.
He nods, biting his lip.
"It's how I met the others... I hated that life for many reasons... Especially because they were trying to kill me..."
"What?..."
"Yeah, yeah, I know, stupid right?... I hated that life. I was sent assassins left and right, and it just got too much for a kid... The others were sent to kill me when I was only twelve... They almost did, but Petunia stopped them... I don't know what made her stop them, but I think it's just motherly instincts."
"Motherly instinct?"
"Yeah... I'm the youngest out of them, and back then I'm sure she just saw a puny kid and took pity. She raised me like a mom would, and she cared for me a lot which is why I think it's just motherly instincts... Contrary to her looks, she's actually thirty." Cethin chuckles.
"Wait, she's thirty?" I exclaim, surprised.
"Yeah, I know right." Cethin laughs, shrugging, "But don't let her find out I told you. She's weird about her age."
Cethin takes a deep breath, calming down as he talks.
"But... She saw how pitiful I was, I was just a child and she was sent to kill me, but she didn't know who sent them until she saw me."
"What do you mean? She would have met someone to pay them off."
Cethin shakes his head.
"No... Some stranger met them... But she realized who hired them. The stranger didn't belong as a commoner, but she says she remembered seeing his pin under his cloak... It was the same pin I was wearing. In my kingdom, pins were given to royals who were skilled with swordsmanship, but also to high knights who were assigned to protect the royals..."
"Your parents sent him..." I mutter, realizing.
He nods, shrugging.
"He was my father's guard... I get why they decided to put me down though... My mother died when I was born, and after my father remarried. My stepmother got pregnant but that kid had stronger abilities than me... My father loved him more than me. All I was, was his late wife's child who was weak. To make sure my half brother took the throne without any issues, they decided to kill me."
"Cethin..." I hold his hand, watching his eyes tear up.
"Once Petunia realized... We decided to ruin the kingdom. Nobles fell because of us, and so we ran. We stole, killed, and eventually ended up here, always on the run from the people who want vengeance... I was alone in that castle, I was alone through every assassination attempt, but mockingly the only people who cared about me, were the ones meant to take my life... I'm honestly grateful they tried killing me... They took me and gave me a new life. I was waiting every night to be attacked. I didn't have a peaceful night, I'd always be afraid a noble would find us and kill us... I hate nobles, I just think they're loud mouthed assholes. Till I met you... You were intriguing, and eventually I... I just liked being with you..."
I stare at Cethin as tears drip down his cheeks.
"I'm scared... I don't want to lose you. I care about the others, but sometimes it haunts me about how they almost killed me... I don't want to lose someone who didn't look at me with disgust, I don't want to lose someone who didn't try to hurt me. I'll be better, and I'll try to make you happy, but just please don't abandon me... I don't want to be abandoned again." Cethin begins spiralling in his thoughts and fear, covering his ears as he begins to sob.
"Cethin! Look at me." I grab his hands, holding them in mine.
"Cethin, I'm not going to abandon you. You did nothing wrong. You're sweet and funny, and there's nothing you did wrong that'll make me abandon you. I'm nothing like your parents, so don't think for a second I'll abandon you for no reason. You're my first friend... I could never abandon you when you mean so much to me. I promise." I hold his hand, my eyes watering as I comfort him.
"There's a limit to how strong I can be. I look pathetic, right?" Cethin laughs, taking a deep breath to calm down.
"Not at all... I'm glad you told me. I swear I won't abandon you, but if there comes a time where we can't stay in each others life, we'll both talk about it and decide if both of us will be happy. But I'm not going anywhere, so we'll make lots of memories, like sneaking to town again, riding horses together, and we can even go boating or fishing!"
"Fishing?"
"Yeah, well I never tried it... I've been thinking of new things I want to experience, and I can't do them without a friend, right?"
"Ugh, I'll go but I'm telling you now, you'll hate it." Cethin chuckles, sniffling as he wipes his eyes.
"Okay, then we can just steal fish from down at the docks. We'll make a lot more memories together, but what's happened with his highness and I, won't affect our relationship. I never meant to make you blame yourself."
Cethin looks back at me. He smiles and nods.
"Okay, now that the cry-fest is over, what kind of tea is this?" Cethin shakes his head, ignoring the moment.
"Interested in 'grass water' now?" I giggle, mocking him.
"I always drank it back then, hated every part of it though. Just thought I'd try it again after so long."
"Well, this is hibiscus tea. You put sugar or honey and it tastes refreshing whether it's hot or cold."
I pour tea in a cup for Cethin, mixing sugar in.
He picks it up, sniffing it before taking a sip.
"Oh... It's good." Cethin looks at me, surprised.
"Of course it is. It's not all just boiled grass." I giggle, dinking our teacups and taking a sip.