The Emperor's Concubine

Chapter Seventy-Three

I sit in the dining room, taking a bite of the salad. Duke Oslo sits across from me, eating his meal.

"Your grace?" I call out.
"Yes?"
"Have you spoken with his highness regarding the sewage systems?"
"Yes, they'll be redone, and we also notified the board of health of this disease."
"I see, I'm glad." I smile slightly, forcing a pleased demeanor as I repress the urge to ask how Cabel is.

I poke at the salad, losing my appetite.
"Is something the matter?" Duke Oslo asks.
"Not really... I suppose I'm not used to being here quite yet."
"I see, well I'll ensure my help makes your stay comfortable. If you need anything, you can call for anyone."
"Yes, thank you..."
I force myself to take another small bite of the salad as we continue to eat in silence.

Even after the diligent care the maids gave when helping me get ready to sleep, the delicious feast the chefs cooked, and the soft bed I was given—I can't help but feel bittersweet.
I could barely taste the food in this state, let alone realize in the moment how sweet the workers were to me. I can only focus on how unfamiliar this place is, and how I can no longer return to the place that made me feel safe.
Holding back my tears, I take a deep breath as I stare at the ceiling.
The door knocks, bringing me out of my daze.

I sit up, briefly wiping away any wetness from my eyes.
"Come in." I call out, getting up from the bed.

The door opens and Duke Oslo enters with a box in hand.
"Forgive my intrusion, I just wanted to bring you something you might like." Duke Oslo smiles kindly.
I walk over to him curiously, looking in the box to see multiple books.
"Books?..." I whisper.
"I forgot to add bookcases to your room. We can install them tomorrow morning and buy new books, if you'd like?"
"Please, don't go through any trouble. These are more than enough." I take the box of books, smiling gratefully as I think about the small moment of tranquility I can have with reading.
"There's also a library you're free to visit, if you don't wish to purchase any."
"Thank you... You've done so much for me, I wouldn't want to impose."
"Nonsense, you're my guest. You can venture around however you'd like. I should warn you, my library isn't filled with all the same books in the royal palace." Duke Oslo chuckles, giving a soft smile.
"I'll enjoy reading them regardless." I giggle, staring at the books in the box.
My thoughts momentarily thinking about the endearing moments I spent with Cabel in the library, I realize my rudeness as the duke tries to get my attention.

"Luna..." Duke Oslo calls my name.
I look back at him and force a smile.
"Yes?"
"The spring ball is approaching... I have to attend and if you wouldn't be bothered by it, would you like to attend as my partner?"
My eyes widen, surprised.
"Oh..."
"You don't need to answer right away, or feel pressured to go. I have to be accompanied by someone, and thought you might like to go."
"I appreciate it. I need to think about it though, is that alright?"
"Of course. Let me know as soon as you give it some thought."
"Yes, I'm grateful for the offer, your grace." I bow slightly.
"I'll leave you to rest. If you need anything, my bedroom is down the hall to the right."
"Thank you, your grace... Goodnight." I wave slightly as Duke Oslo leaves, smiling back.

I sit on the bed again and sigh.
"It was just a lie... I need to get a hold of myself." I whisper under my breath, closing my eyes as I try to ignore the fond memories.

Waking up, startled briefly as I look around the unfamiliar room, I remember where I am. Relieved only a numbed feeling resides—instead of the heart wrenching sorrow—I vow to try to lessen my thoughts of Cabel.
Getting dressed in the new clothing the maids brought, a maid tightens the corset while I step into a simple pink and white frilled gown. I slide my arms into the sleeves, staring at myself in the mirror as a maid laces the gown up. They clip a side of my hair back with a pearl barrette.

"Thank you. I can finish getting ready from here." I smile, sending them out.
Applying my rose lip balm, I slide into a pair of pink matching high heels. Staring at myself in the mirror for a moment, I can only question who I am.

My life finally my own—no longer ruled by my parents or the emperor—I feel unrecognizable to who I see in the mirror.
Feeling as though I'm a stranger to myself, curiosity grows as I realize the vast choices I can decide myself. The exhilarating feeling of finally realizing I'm free of any ownership, it feels almost impossible to decide what I want to do.
 

The door knocks, making me set aside my overwhelming and exciting realization.
Glancing back at myself for a moment, I force a smile—a bittersweet feeling growing as I see how I look being untethered for the first time.

"Come in." I call out.

Duke Oslo opens the door and smiles.
"Good morning, did you sleep well?" Duke Oslo walks up to me.
"I suppose I did. What about yourself?"
"Not at all. I spent the night worrying if you were uncomfortable being here." He sighs with a dramatic tone.
Giving a light hearted scoff, I tuck my hair behind my ear.
"You shouldn't tease your guest too much." I retort.
"I hardly call that teasing." He chuckles, wearing a kind smile, "Do you have a moment?"
"Yes, did you need anything?"
"Well I wanted to bring you this." Holding out a folder full of forms, he gives a subtle shrug, "Unless you changed your mind though."

I stare at the papers for a moment, confused by what they could be.
Sensing the thoughts in my mind, Duke Oslo chuckles.

"They're papers to become a consultant." He says with an amused tone.
My eyes widening—dumbstruck by forgetting about becoming a consultant—I stammer for a moment.
"I can be a consultant..." I whisper, the elated emotions returning as I realize I can achieve it, "I can be a consultant now."
Giving a nod to reassure my surprise, the duke places the folder in my hands.
"You can. You only need to write the exam."
"Without his permission?" I whisper, meeting his eyes as I no longer have to hope for the emperor's consent.
"Of course. You're not his concubine anymore." Duke Oslo empathetically speaks.

Giving a small nod as I take in his words, I struggle between wanting to rejoice and the melancholy that comes from no longer being apart of the emperor's life.

"You don't have to, if you changed your mind." Duke Oslo sympathetically says.
"No, I do... I want to do it still." I shake my head, holding the papers tighter.
"Okay then. This is what you need to learn if you want to pass the exam. I'll speak with Fredrick to order the books urgently."
"That'd be wonderful, thank you." I smile, trying to hide my excitement at his words.
"Wonderful, because I already went ahead and registered you to write the exam."
"Already?" I chuckle, surprised by his words.
"Yes, but I should warn you, it might be difficult. They give the test once every two months, which is why I booked it as soon as possible." Duke Oslo's face twists awkwardly.
"When will it be?"
"Well... In a week."
"A week?" I exclaim, shocked.
"Yes, it's in ten days to be more precise, but you have five attempts. I thought it'd be easier to go the first time to see the difficulty, and try again after having an understanding of what the exam will be like."
I stare at the pages, feeling a fire burning inside of me from motivation—I can't let the duke's help go to waste.

"No..." I hum, glancing over the documents.
"You don't wish to take it?"
"I do... But I know I can pass it the first time." I flash a cheeky grin.
Duke Oslo looks at me wide eyed—a bit surprised by my sudden confidence.
He scoffs with an amused tone before chuckling lightly.
"Yes... I think you will. I'll send Fredrick to get the books now."
"Thank you, your grace."
"Of course."
Duke Oslo bows his head slightly, leaving the room as I read through documents.