The Emperor's Concubine

Chapter Thirteen

Emperor Cabel stands in front of a mirror, blankly staring at his reflection in a daze. Standing in his bedroom, butlers silently dress him—cautiously adorning him with gold accessories.

Wearing a white suit with gold trimmings and black accenting, his outfit is finished with a crimson red cape tied around his shoulders. His hair slicked back with a few bang hairs hung in front of his forehead, the emperor's piercing eyes are focused on the mirror—the movements of the servants being analyzed under his watchful gaze.

Profession and moving quiet and as swift as they can, the workers all remain composed—beneath their calm exteriors, they're cautious and on edge as to not offend or incur the emperor's wrath.

The emperor's eyes soon dart to focus on Lance, who stands in the back of the room as he's deep in his thoughts.

"All of you out, except for Lance." Emperor Cabel coldly commands.

The servants quickly exit the room, cautious as they Lance alone.
As the door shuts behind the last worker that leaves, the emperor breaks the silence first.

"Out with it, you've been staring like you want to speak." Emperor Cabel speaks as he adjusts his cravat.
"Your majesty... I don't need to warn you, but you should be cautious if you run into Lady Luna tonight." Lance hesitantly shares, staring at the emperor with concerned eyes.
"I'm well aware." He pauses, deeply thinking, "How foolish. When she talks and smiles, it makes me forget who I am."

Emperor Cabel emptily gazes at his reflection in the mirror—a subtle dark-red haze rising from him as a lapis necklace hung around his neck begins to subtly glow.

"Yes, but she only knows Sir Hayden. You need to be cautious not to approach her with the familiarity that Sir Hayden has with her." Lance sighs, staring as his imperial majesty raking his fingers through his hair.

Clicking his tongue, the emperor removes the lapis accessory—coldly staring at the necklace in his palm.

"I know, but I have no desire to even spare a glance at her tonight. The fact that she made someone like me walk with my own legs to visit her, to simply talk and listen, irritates me enough." Emperor Cabel scowls in disgust, clenching his hand tightly around the gem, "But I keep getting drawn to her..."
"Your majesty, this is very confusing. If you wish to meet Lady Luna, you can request -"
"I don't, not like this... She'll react differently. She's opened herself to Hayden. I'm only a stranger to her." Emperor Cabel sits on a sofa, irritated and conflicted by his thoughts.

Flashing a small reassuring smile, Lance approaches the emperor.

"With all due respect, even if she's friendly with Hayden, would it be so bad if she was friendly to you? Your mana will deplete the longer you stay transformed, one day it'll run out and you'll turn back to yourself—possibly in front of her. Eventually she'll find out, so wouldn't it be best to be honest with her?"
"I'm aware of that, yet each passing second with her makes me forget who I am. I want to get her out of my mind, I've thought about taking her life so she ceases to exist in my thoughts -" Emperor Cabel pauses as he stares at his gloved white hand.

A brief look of disgust appears in his expression from the thought of harming Luna. Jumping to his feet, he approaches his nightstand.

"If that's what you wish, I could inform the guards -"
"Enough. None of that. Do not speak to anyone about this." The emperor scoffs, dropping the necklace into a drawer.
"Yes, your majesty."

Sighing, the emperor rakes his hand through his hair. Pacing where he stands for a moment, he falls back into the sofa as he sorts his thoughts.

"I can't harm her—I refuse to harm her... When I spend time with her, it drives me mad. She hasn't done anything wrong, but I don't know how to handle these strange feelings that appear from being with her." Emperor Cabel scoffs, sitting down on a velvet chaise lounge beside his bed.

Taking a moment to think on the emperor's confession, Lance flashes a small smile as he pours a glass of wine.

"Your majesty, may I ask what kind of feelings you have?" Lance questions, handing the emperor the glass.
"These feelings... I can't describe them... But when she innocently speaks to Hayden, I find myself wanting to listen to her talk. She has a different warm outlook on life, despite what she went through."
"It isn't pity you feel, is it?"
"No... It's just a strange view that I never had." Emperor Cabel sighs, swirling the glass of wine, "I can't describe what it is... I suppose this is guilt."
"Guilt? What makes you think that?"
"She spoke so positively about me. It's as if she only sees the good in someone like me, and I feel guilty knowing I'm far from being the good person she imagines the emperor to be." Emperor Cabel shrugs, his gaze sharpening as thoughts overwhelm his mind.

Taken aback by the vulnerable thoughts the emperor speaks out loud, Lance thinks to himself—cautious of picking the right words to say to him.

"Your majesty, I believe you're too hard on yourself... The things you do are for the greater good, so why do you focus on the rumors, when even Lady Luna can see you aren't like that?" Lance questions, his expression twisted as he notices the conflicted expression the emperor wears.
"Because... Every second I spend with her, it's a constant reminder that I'm not the man she thinks I am. She's blinded by the kindness she so called says she sees in the emperor—yet I dread the thought of her finding out some of those rumors are true. I can't stand being with her because all I think of is the expression she'd have when she realizes the emperor isn't as kind as she thinks."
"Yet, you continue to visit her." Lance calmly speaks, watching the emperor sip his drink, "If you're guilt ridden, why does your majesty continue to visit her? Those feelings will only grow more prominent the more time you spend with her."
"I want to know more..." Emperor Cabel sighs, lethargically leaning against the arm rest as he ponders for a moment, "I want to see if she's ignorant to who the emperor really is. I want to tell her who I am, but if she's ignorant to the things I've done, I can only imagine how much more blind she'd be if she knew who Hayden was. She'd be more forgiving for the acts I've committed. She could be hurt that I lied about my identity, but if she's accepting of it—I'd be taking advantage of the friendship she has with Hayden."
"Are you sure that's the only reason?"

Giving a dubious stare to Lance, the emperor freezes as he watches a soft collected grin growing on Lance's face.

"Your majesty, in my humble opinion, it's clear that you don't dislike spending time with her. You can say that you're only trying to assess how she feels—but was there ever someone you worried about upsetting before?" Lance questions, curious about the emperor's response.
"Isn't that something you'd already know?" Emperor Cabel scoffs, confused about what Lance is trying to hint at.
"Your majesty, the best thing to do is to be honest. I don't believe Lady Luna's ignorant, but if you're concerned about how she'll react or feel, I suggest meeting her not as Hayden—but as yourself. If you're honest with the things you believe are faults, she can decide for herself if she'll view you differently. If you form a friendly relationship with her, I'm sure it'll be easier to be honest with her about Sir Hayden."

Swirling his glass for a moment, the emperor takes a sip of wine as he ruminates over Lance's words.
Waving his hand with a lethargic flick of his wrist, the emperor signals for Lance to leave.

"Enough of this talk. Leave and check on the preparations." Emperor Cabel furrows his brows, sighing as he ponders through his thoughts.
"Understood. May glory of Helios rest upon you." Lance calmly smiles before leaving the room.

The clock hung over the office door fills the room as the emperor sits silently.

"I'm worried about her?" Emperor Cabel whispers to himself.

Tapping his finger against the stem of the crystal glass, he downs the rest of his wine before setting the empty glass onto the side table. Listening to the seconds tick by, the emperor lightly scoffs before he rakes his fingers through his hair.

"Would she really open up to me?" Emperor Cabel sighs, throwing his head back to stare at the ceiling as Lance's words repeat in his thoughts.