The Emperor's Concubine

Chapter Seventy-Eight

(Assault Trigger Warning!)

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'No... How do I even have the right to be upset... How do I have the right to be hurt, when I don't even exist in your heart?...'
The thought quickly hits me.

I relax my fists, my heart aching as my vision grows blurry from the tears that begin to build.
Unable to look away, I stare at the two in a daze—never realizing how agonizing facing the truth in front of me will be.
Without realizing, I linger my gaze on his face—watching as he glances to see if she's able to keep up with his pace. Facing forward again, his eyes scan the crowd and in a moment that makes all the air leave my lungs, as if it was being painfully restrained—our eyes meet.

His eyes widen as he looks back at me. His poised expression crumbling as he stares back—as if questioning why I returned.
Painfully aware of the distance between us as I watch the princess tightly hug his arm, I rush out of the ballroom.

"Why?" I whisper, running mindlessly as I try to escape the pain that persistently follows, "This is for the best, it's better for you—it's better for me... But why can't I believe those words?"

Lost with where I'm heading, even taking a breath feels difficult as the image of seeing him with another lady lingers vividly in my mind.
Tears drip down my cheeks as I run through the garden.
Feeling weak from shock, I stop to lean against a tree as my body feels painfully cold. Gripping my chest, my heart aching intensely as if I've been stabbed—I can only think about how she'll become an empress who can stand beside him.

"Luna!"

Forced out of my daze, my body's turned around as someone grabs my wrist.
Duke Oslo stands ahead of me, out of breath from running after me.

"Your grace..." I whisper, holding back my sobs.
"I never should have brought you here..." Duke Oslo quickly pulls me into him, embracing me.
I stand surprised, tears overflowing more from my eyes.

"I-I thought it would be fine..." I whisper, realizing I've been lying to myself this entire time, "I-I thought it wouldn't hurt anymore, I thought I was okay-"
"I know. I know..." Duke Oslo cuts me off, trying to calm me down, "You can blame me... I shouldn't have suggested bringing you, I should've changed your mind about coming, I shouldn't have left you alone."
He holds me tightly.
I sob into his chest, unable to move or think.
"It's not your fault..." I whisper, "I-I want to leave. Please, can we go?"
"We'll leave, I'll call a carriage. I promise I won't let you near this place again."
Duke Oslo pulls away, his gloved hand lifting up to wipe my tears.
I take ragged breaths attempting to calm myself.

"It's not this place... I-I knew I would be strong enough to come back... I'm just not strong enough to face him..."
Duke Oslo stares into my eyes, his thumbs wiping my tears.
"Luna..." He calls out.
"I love him... But I'm just a fool for thinking he loves me too." I sob, each breath I take feeling agonizing.
"Luna... Stop..." Duke Oslo mutters, his hands moving to take ahold of my shoulders.
"Y-Your grace?" I stammer, confused by his behavior.

His expression filled with frustration and pain, a look of desperation washing over him.

"I wanted to be patient. I wanted to wait..." He mumbles.
"What?... What do you mean?"
His head drooped low, I can only hear the grinding of his teeth as he thinks to himself.
"How revolting..." His expression irritated and pained, his eyes sharply meet mine, "I hate it... I hate when you're standing in front of me, crying over another man. I hate it to my core."
"Y-Your grace?" I can only call out to him, taken aback by his sudden change of tone.