The Emperor's Concubine

Chapter Fifty-Nine

Collapsing the instant I close my bedroom doors, the adrenaline courses through me as the realization becomes suffocating. Anger, confusion, and sadness mix together to cause my heart to ache.

"Was it all pretend?" I whisper, "Was I just a fool?"
The tightness in my chest growing, the agony making it difficult to cry as I can only let the emotions remain inside.
"He loved me so I could be useful?..." I whisper, tightening my fist until it becomes painful.

The moment replaying in my mind, ceasing to disappear, my chest begins to ache as I think about the fact that if a queen is brought in, an empress will be needed.
Lost in my thoughts, I think about the kindness Cabel gave. Questioning every moment he would gently gaze at me, the light touch of his fingers when he'd brush my hair back—and if he'd give the same care to his empress.

"I thought it was real... I thought I was precious to you..."
The agonizing pain seems to release upon my thoughts organizing. Replaying his distant, cruel gaze in my mind, tears begin to fall again.
I sob, scratching at my chest as the heartache becomes unbearable.


Days pass as I recall my last encounter with Cabel.
Sitting in bed, I can only gaze outside as I think about the emperor. Picturing he's in front of me, my eyes tear up as I imagine his gentle gaze looking back at me.
"It wasn't real... You got ahead of yourself for thinking he truly cherished you" I scold myself, shutting my eyes as I take deep breaths.
Reminding myself of his position, I focus on the fact that he'll do what it takes if it benefits his empire—even if it means loving me for a purpose.

Magnolia worried as I let the days pass without leaving my bed, she forces me outside. The hood of my cloak covering my hair and eyes as I roam around the blooming garden alone.
I look up to the sun brightly shining as it seems to blind me.


"What do I do?" I whisper.
Reminded how small I am in this world, my mind wanders to the memories of vulnerability I felt in my parents control.
Unable to ignore the similarity, I can't help but let an airy chuckle out as I realize the position the emperor's forced me into—I'm helpless again.
Helpless to the fact that I'm his belonging, helpless to the fact that he could force me to marry him, and helpless to the fact that he'd have to bring an empress.
Biting my lip, I call myself a fool for falling in love with the emperor.

"Please let go!" A girls voice shouts in disarray.

Her scream bringing me out of the spiral of my thoughts, I peek around the corner of the maze to see a young girl— seeming to be around Magnolia's age.

She wears a cream cloak that covers her face, with two guards cornering her.
My eyes widen at the sight.
Memories of the slimy hands that would touch me—the knights of Avris appear in mind causing me to freeze in fear.

"C'mon miss, why not play with us?" The guard gripping her wrist, flirtatiously says.
"We don't need to return just yet, keep us company." The other guard grabs her jaw, attempting to peer at her face.

The hood shifts slightly, revealing her cute face. Her eyes a vivid emerald green shade, with her light brown hair peeking out from the hood she wears.
Noticing her clothing as the cloak shifts, the skirt of her gown is revealed slightly as she attempts to get away from the guards.

"Oh my what pretty eyes, I'd like to see them closer." The guard provocatively comments, grabbing her more.
"S-Stop!" The girl exclaims, attempting to push him away.

Shutting my eyes, the fear in her voice reminding me of those times I've lived, I grit my teeth.
My fists clenched tightly, the fear no longer present—I can only feel anger reside in me.

"What are you two doing?" I call out, my voice clear and loud as it rings through the garden.

The guards turn taking a glance until they sneer.

"Oh? What's this we have another lady to play with?" The guard releases the girl's jaw, stepping closer to me.
Standing still, I sharply meet his vile eyes.

I scowl disgusted yet still afraid of his touch as he suddenly grabs my waist.
Panic arises as I realize my hands are trembling, faced again with another sleazy knight—but it doesn't last long.
Catching a glimpse of the girl's fearful expression, the panic disappears as I realize my goal is to protect this girl—I need to save her from this.

"I suggest you unhand me." I speak, unamused as I take a deep breath.
"You just need to be quiet, I'm sure you'd do well to play with me." The guard grins, his voice low as he brings his face close to take a peek at my eyes.
The scent of alcohol from his breath, hits the tip of my nose.