The Emperor's Concubine

Chapter Seventy-One

"I-I don't understand." I force myself to speak.

The heavy feeling of my heart dropping to the pit of my stomach makes me dizzy.
I watch as Cabel places a large file on the table.

"This is every certificate and document, from every trade and sale of the crystals we took from Avris. You'll receive all the money made from them back. I can't return your kingdom, but all I can do is give you the wealth and title of Avris."
"I-I don't understand, what do you mean?"
"It means you don't belong to me anymore."

The words I should be relieved to hear, making my body run cold as I realize I never wanted to hear it from his lips.
Trying to make sense of the situation, I can't help but blink rapidly as if my quickened breathing makes my whole body fall into a sense of panic.

"You refused being queen and you won't be obedient when I want you to. There's no need for you to remain in my life... Because this is sudden, I had accommodations made. Your possessions will be packed today and you'll be moved out of the palace." Cabel looks at me, his eyes unwavering as he speaks.
"C-Can I ask why you're deciding to do this now?" I quietly ask, a lump in my throat as I meet his expressionless gaze, "Why didn't you do this sooner, why did you wait until now?"
Tears fall down my cheeks as I look back at him.
His brows furrow as he shuts his eyes. Thinking for a moment, he stares at the documents he placed.
"There's no reason to concern myself with you any longer."

Anxiety dwelling over me as I listen to his apathetic words, yet unable to refrain from questioning why he wears such an expression—his lips tightly closed, the subtle furrowing of his brows and his lonely gaze filled by torment.

"Did you love me?" I whisper, trying to keep my voice steady as I ask the question I'm afraid to know the truth to.
His eyes meet mine—for a brief moment it seemed to be a look of longing. Averting his eyes, he begins to arrange the documents as if he didn't hear me.
I hesitantly reach out to hold the cuff of his sleeve, hoping to get his attention. Finally meeting my eyes with his indifferent gaze, my curiosity desperately needing the answer, I ask again.

"Cabel... Did you pretend to love me just so I'd be useful to you?"
"You're free, there's no need to know-"
"I want to know." I cut him off, my body trembling as I realize how terrified I am to know the truth, "Please, just tell me."

Taking a deep breath, he thinks for a moment as his eyes remain glued to the documents, before gazing to my hand that holds his sleeve.
Flinching as I realize I've been clinging to him, I release my grip.
Upon taking my hand back, he meets my eyes.

"Our encounter was an illusion that never should have happened... So, live as if this mirage never existed." Cabel looks back at me with a cold expression.

Feeling my heart tighten painfully, I bite my lip to the point where I draw blood—desperate for any kind of pain than this.

"Even in the end, you can't answer me?" I stammer, trying to stop my tears.

Cabel lips tightly shut, his hands clenched in a tight fist as he slowly speaks.

"You'll be moved to a private estate and you can stay as long as you want, but with the wealth you have now, you can buy land or an estate whenever you wish. Even your future family will be able to live well off your wealth..." Briefly, Cabel's eyes squint with a furious-sullen glare.
"A future family?... Is that a joke?" I whisper, feeling as though I was slapped upon hearing those words.
He remains silent—Only his eyes seem to be apologetic.
"You can keep the name Luna if you don't want your previous name, but you'll have your title and family name back... But, this is where we end things." Cabel stands, beginning to step away.
"Cabel!" Instinctively I hug him from behind to stop him from leaving, "P-Please tell me... W-Why would you die for me, if you just wanted to use me? Why can't you answer any of my questions, why are you avoiding it?"
I can't help but let my tears flow as I ask him the questions that have been haunting me. Afraid of never knowing the answers, I hold him tightly the best I can with my weakened grip.