The Emperor's Concubine

Chapter Thirty-Four

On the quiet evening, only the sounds of our cutlery is heard. Enjoying a peaceful dinner with Cabel, I take a sip of red wine after swallowing a bite of roasted pork.

"Did you really learn all of that on your own?" Cabel asks, breaking the silence as he takes a bite of his food.
"I did. Growing up, I could only teach myself. So, I love reading, it helps me learn about a world I couldn't learn about, when I was younger -" I pause, remembering saying the same line before, "Oh forgive me, have I said this to you already?"
"The same words exactly, yes." Cabel softly laughs, smiling fondly.

Staring at his smile, I can't help but smile back—suddenly struck by memories of Hayden smiling.
Questioning why Hayden came to mind as I looked at the emperor, I unconsciously tilt my head as a feeling appears—making me question further, just when did I speak those words to his majesty before?

"Is something wrong?" Cabel asks, noticing my daze.
"Oh no, nothing's wrong. I just remembered I haven't seen a friend of mine in a while... A lot has happened I suppose." Feigning a smile, I hide the strange feeling that appeared.

Nodding as he listens to my words, he sets his cutlery down—leaning back in his chair as he lifts his wine glass.

"I see. Hayden, I assume?" Cabel questions.
"Er, yes... I just haven't seen him since the winter ball." I hesitantly respond, cautious if he'll grow suspicious of our friendship.
"Has it been that long?" The emperor pauses, thinking to himself for a moment.
"Yes... He left for work, and promised to visit when he returned..." I mumble, growing worried about why he hasn't come to see me.

Clearing his throat, Cabel leans forward—resting his elbows on the table as he thinks to himself.

"I'll check with the captain to see when he's due to return." Cabel suggests.
"No, it doesn't feel right to have you do that."
"I don't mind. You seem worried, so I'll have a word with the captain and pass on a message for him to see you. What day works for you?" He urges, taking me aback by how receptive he is.
"I suppose any day... Tomorrow I was going to visit Magnolia though, but I promise you don't need to arrange anything for me."
"I said I would so there's no need to feel guilty." Flashing a quick smile, he adjusts his position to continue eating.

Giving a small nod, I stare at the plate of food before me—excited to meet Hayden again.

"Thank you, your majesty." I whisper.

Giving a nod as if accepting my gratitude, we continue eating in the peaceful atmosphere.



"Maggie!" I exclaim.

Entering the room, I run up to the bed where Magnolia sits—greeting her with a hug.

"My lady!" Magnolia smiles, excited by my appearance, "I'm sorry you have to visit me like this."
"Don't be silly, I'm so happy to see you! I missed you so much." I softly giggle, sitting in a chair beside the bed, "Here, these are for you."

Handing Magnolia a bouquet of pink and peach colored flowers, I watch as her face lights up from the gift.

"Have you been feeling well?"
"Yes I am! I'll be able to come back to work soon!" Hugging the bouquet tightly, she gives an innocent smile.

Relieved as I see her complexion clear of injuries, with only bandages and a sling wrapped around her shoulder, I begin to unpack the snacks I brought with me.



The morning goes by quickly as I keep Magnolia company. Spending time to catch up, I eventually sit on the bed beside her as I read her a story.

Suddenly, she lightly grabs the edge of my sleeve, stopping me as I move to flip the page.

"Maggie? What's the matter?" I ask.
"My lady, I'm sorry about everything." Magnolia quietly speaks.
"About what?" I close the book, confused by her actions.
"I lied... I told you his majesty hurt me. I was scared to disobey them." Magnolia grows saddened, looking down at her lap.
"Maggie, please don't be sorry. You did it to protect me. You're such a kind hearted girl to do that, I only wish I could have protected you." Turning to face her, I set the book aside as I notice the guilt upon her.
"I couldn't stand thinking about them harming you, but it hurts to think about how I lied to you."
"Maggie, you did nothing wrong, okay? You are so kind for protecting me, but you should never put yourself in harm's way like that."

Giving a soft nod, my heart aches as I see her eyes water.

"My lady... I just... I can't forgive myself though." She whispers through a strained voice.
"What do you mean?" Gently wiping her tears, I patiently wait as she gathers her thoughts.
"I feel so guilty... You're being so kind to me when I lied to you..."
"Maggie, did you lie to hurt me?" I cautiously ask.
"N-No, of course not." She sobs, her tears beginning to wet her cheeks.
"Tell me, why do you feel so guilty if you didn't have the intention to hurt me?"

Pausing as she fiddles her fingers as she stares at her lap, she bites her lip trying to stop her sobs.

"May I tell you my story?" She asks, her voice so quiet I could barely hear it.
"Of course. Please, tell me." I gently speak.

Watching as she takes a deep breath, she tilts her head back to stop her tears from falling.

"W-When my father passed away, I was left alone with my older sister." She whispers.
"You have a sister?" I ask, listening to her open up.
"Yes... She's very kind and protected me all the time..."

Watching as she pulls out a gold locket that was hiding beneath her shirt, I notice a small bottle filled with ashes on the chain. Opening the locket to reveal a picture of her and her sister, she carefully hands it to me.

"She passed away when I was eight. When she passed... I promised her I would live a happy life, and always be truthful... But I broke my promise with her."
"Maggie..." I whisper, my heart aching as I listen intently.
"I-I remember I was alone and Mister Lance found me on the streets... He told me he'll find a shelter for me to stay, and introduced me to the captain of his majesty's royal guards."
"Did you work for him for a while then?"
"Yes... Mister Lance frequently checked up on me and one day when he visited, he asked me to come to the palace to become your maid... I'm grateful he did... The day we first met, I was reminded of my sister. You both are intelligent and kind, and you gave the same warmth she provided to me. But when I lied to you..." Holding back her sobs, Magnolia hangs her head low as she stares at her hands on her lap, "Lying to you made me realize I broke my promise with her... I didn't know what else to do, but I'm torn because my lady is being so kind to me when I don't deserve it."
"Maggie, yes you do. You deserve people being kind to you, you didn't do anything wrong." I try to reassure her.
"N-No, I was bad. I lied and it hurt you. All I can think about is how I don't deserve your kindness, my lady -"
"It's okay." I cut her off, quickly hugging her tight.

Feeling her body tremble as she sobs, my heart breaks as I realize the true effect the incident had on her.

"I-I can't have a happy life. I betrayed you when you've been nothing but kind to me. I-I lied and it hurt you, yet you came to visit me with gifts that I don't deserve. I-It's my fault for not going to Mister Lance first, I should have told him what was happening but instead I lied to you." Magnolia cries, her breathing quickening as she panics further.
"Maggie, it's okay." I whisper, closing my eyes as I think of the right words to say, "Maggie, it was scary. It was difficult."

Pulling back as I peer down to meet her eyes, I give a comforting smile.

"Take a deep breath." I gently whisper, inhaling and exhaling deeply.

Watching as she follows suit, I cup her cheeks with my hands.

"M-My lady... I don't deserve to have a happy life. I was foolish and hurt you." She whispers, her breathing settling as tears continue to fall down her cheeks.

Reminded of the past, I recall the countless moments I wished I had done something different. Yet, none of them I would change if I could.

"Maggie... The promise you broke can hurt a lot... But you can't let that hold you back." I whisper, hoping to settle her anxiousness.

Looking back at me, her eyes widening slightly as she takes in my words, she stifles her sobs. Her eyes widening.

"My lady?" She whispers in a concerned tone.

Tears fall down my cheeks as I think about Magnolia's story. Forcing myself to speak through the sadness I feel for her, I feign a smile through my tears.

"I can't understand the pain you went through and what pain you're going through... But if you held onto 'what you did wrong', you won't be able to focus on the moments that brings you happiness." I calmly say.
"But... How can I be happy when I lied and it hurt you?" She questions, her brows furrowing in pain.
"Because you have yet to break that promise with your sister. Don't let yourself break it." Taking a deep breath to compose my sorrowful emotions, I pet her head to comfort her, "Maggie... It hurts, it may feel like a heavy weight on your shoulders when you think about your promise, but if your sister was alive—would she be upset you broke your promise?"

Hesitating for a moment, Magnolia shakes her head.

"No... She would forgive me and tell me to do my best to not break it again." She quietly admits.

Wiping my cheeks, I give her a kind smile.

"It's hard letting go of the past or letting go of something that hurts you. I know how difficult that can be... But the best anyone can do is grow from it, no matter how long that takes. I'm sure you're sister will be happy as long as you can forgive yourself, just like she'll forgive you."
"But my lady, you got hurt -"
"No." I cut her off, "You were the one who got hurt... You endured so much pain and stress alone, so please don't focus on having me forgive you when you've done nothing to wrong me. Please forgive yourself... You can't have a happy life like you promised her, if you don't try to forgive yourself for things you're not the fault of."
"Y-Yes, my lady..." Magnolia smiles, sobbing as she covers her eyes.

Feeling the tears grow as I see my words ease her guilt, I comfort her as she cries harder.

"I'm sorry you went through so much heartache... I hope one day you can fulfill your promises to her." I whisper, hugging her gently.
"I-I'll do my best, I promise... I'm sorry, my lady, I'm sorry I lied." Magnolia sobs.
"Maggie, I'm sorry. I'm sorry I couldn't protect you. I'm sorry I couldn't keep you safe, I'm sorry that you endured so much to protect me."

Magnolia hugs me tight, her sobbing growing more. Unable to stop myself, I let the tears fall as I hold her tightly.



"I cried too much." I sigh, looking into a mirror.

Staring at my red puffy eyes, I think about what I told Magnolia. Taking what I told her as a way to improve myself by accepting the past as it is, a weight lifts off my shoulders as I vow to focus on changing what I can in the present.

Just as I grow emotional, the door knocks.

"Who is it?" I call out.

No reply comes.
Staring at my eyes again, making sure the redness isn't too noticeable as I fix my smudged makeup, I take a deep breath to compose myself.

Opening the door, my eyes widen as I look at the familiar man.

"Oh my goodness." I stare, surprised as I look up.
"It's been a while." Hayden kindly smiles.
"H-Hayden!" I jump into his arms hugging him, "It's been so long!"
"Have you been well?" Hayden hugs me back, his voice as kind as ever.
"Yes, I have! Please come in!" I exclaim, feeling emotional again by his surprise visit.

As he enters my room, he holds out a box to me. Just before I take it, he pauses. His hand slowly raising to touch my cheekbone, I jump as I see concern in his eyes.

"You... You've been crying?" He asks, his gaze filled with sorrow.
"O-Oh... Yes, but it's nothing to worry about." I smile, his fingers reminding me of the emperor's touch.
"Was it because of nightmares?"
"No, I had an emotional talk with Maggie and we ended up crying together. I promise I'm okay."
"Would you like to talk about it?"
"I promise I'm fine." I laugh lightheartedly as I see his concern grow, "Please, sit." I smile, gesturing for him to move to the sofa.

His brow furrows until he forces a small smile and nods. Walking to sit on the sofa across from me, he sets the box on the table.

"It's not much, but it'll make you feel better. It's your favourite." He kindly speaks, sliding the box towards me.

A playful gasp escapes my lips as I look at the familiar ribbon.

"Is that what I think it is?" I ask, my excitement uncontrollable.

Opening the box to see assorted fruit flavored macarons that colourfully illuminate the box, I clap my hands together as I admire the sight of the dessert.

"Oh my goodness! I can't believe you got me these!" I exclaim, my craving for the treats growing unbearable.
"It wasn't a hassle, enjoy them as much as you want. I ordered some tea to accompany them."
"You shouldn't have! I should be the one to give you a gift."
"Don't worry, a gentleman should spoil a lady." He tenderly laughs, pleased by my reaction.


As Hayden and I talk, Lance soon enters with a cart of refreshments. Arranging the teacups and snacks in front of us, I pause as a thought comes to mind.

'Lance should be helping Cabel right now, so why is he serving us? Did Cabel ask him to serve us?... But, Hayden said he ordered the tea.'

The thought continuously lingers, my curiosity growing further as to why Lance brought us tea instead of a different maid or butler.

"Will you be needing anything else?" Lance asks, looking over at Hayden.
"No, that'll be all." Hayden replies, calmly sipping his tea.
"Thank you, Lance." I softly smile, further confused by Lance's look towards Hayden.
"Of course, my lady. Please call me if you need anything else." Lance bows, exiting the room.

"So tell me, when did you get back?" I ask, my thoughts distracted as I focus on catching up with Hayden.
"A few days ago. I've had paperwork to complete upon my return, and with your plans for Xiao—I'm more busy now."
"What? How did you hear it was my plan?" I question, taken aback at the mention of my name.
"You're intelligent, so it wasn't hard to find out."
"Hm, well I can't take the credit, I was inspired by his majesty's idea. He was the one who initially thought of borrowing Xiao's warriors."
"But you found the solution to avoid our empire from being indebted to them."
"I suppose, but it was still because of his majesty's initial plan."
"Regardless, you're very praise worthy." Hayden chuckles, flashing a proud smile.
"No, not at all!"
"Of course you are. You're humble, intelligent, and have a smile brighter than diamonds."

Pausing from his sudden compliment, I roll my eyes in a lighthearted way.

"Oh, you and your flattery." I scoff, brushing his compliment off as a joke.
"Surely, you missed me—including my flattery." Hayden grins, joking in an arrogant manner.
"Possibly." I mumble, keeping a composed—yet coy expression.


Spending the afternoon together, we share stories to one another with ease. The comfortable feeling, unaffected by the time spent apart.

Sitting back a content sigh escapes my lips as I feel a strong calmness. Taking a bite of a raspberry macaron, I savor the flavor and atmosphere of the evening.

"Come closer." Hayden gestures with his finger.

Confused by his gesture, I do as he says and lean forward.
Suddenly rising to his feet, Hayden leans over the table as he wipes frosting away from my bottom lip with his thumb. Embarrassed from being a mess with the dessert, I sit still as he cautiously examines my face for more crumbs—his face inches from mine.

His eyes suddenly shift up to meet mine. Looking back at me, almost entranced and lost in his thoughts. His hand slowly shifts down my chin as he tilts my face upwards.

Realizing he's moving closer to me, I freeze, unable to process what's happening.

Suddenly, he flinches subtly. Pausing as he thinks to himself for a moment, he slowly averts his gaze as he pulls his hand away.

"My apologies, it seems I've overstayed." He stammers, standing up straight as he takes a step back.
"But -" I pause, wanting to ask what he was about to do.
"I'll see you soon, my lady." Cutting me off, he bows before quickly leaving my room.

Taken aback by how quick he is to leave, I jump to my feet confused. Unsure if I'm embarrassed or flustered, I'm left stunned from the thought of how close his lips were to mine.