Seungcheol parked his black jeep right in front of Jeonghan's house. The windows showed that there wasn't any light on inside, although Jeonghan knew too well that his mother might still be awake. It was only around eleven and there was a high possibility his mother would sit on the couch in their living room.
Both boys would be lying if they said they weren't nervous, although the subject stayed unspoken. After about a minute of silence they both realized they had been staring at the house without actually getting out of the car to enter it. They had no idea what they might encounter the moment they woukd set foot inside and that was what frightened them the most.
"Shall we go?" Jeonghan was the first to break the silence that lingered in the air. Seungcheol hummed in response and was the first one to get out, Jeonghan following his example. "It's okay Han, I'm here remember?" Jeonghan just nodded and grabbed Seungcheol's hand without hesitation, interlacing their fingers together. A gesture that happened without thinking twice, but both didn't bother the physical contact at all.
Jeonghan searched through his jean pockets for his keys, but turned to Seungcheol next to him when he realized he really didn't want to go inside yet. "Are you sure we can't go to your place?" Seungcheol gently squeezed his hand and gave him a reassuring look. "It's only for one night Hannie, we'll see what happens. If she doesn't care about you being away till so late I'll take you home with me tomorrow, okay?"
Jeonghan picks up the key and unlocks the door, nodding at Seungcheol. He was right. It was for the best if he gave his mother another chance to see if she really cared about him. If she didn't Seungcheol would take him to safety. Jeonghan knew he had to trust Seungcheol on this one, as long as he was standing by his side he would be safe.
So he walked inside, letting Seungcheol in with him and trying to close the door as silent as possible. Just in case his mother would still be awake. The first thing they did was taking their shoes off and putting them in the rack where they kept their other pairs of shoes, right next to the front door. They both weren't wearing any coats since Seungcheol was packed up in a warm hoodie and Jeonghan left the blanket in Seungcheol's car.
Now the only thing that was left was to sneak up the stairs as silent as possible, knowing that any sound they made might wake his mother up, if she wasn't awake already. Jeonghan gestured Seungcheol to go up the stairs as first. The elder understood the hint and nodded, walking up the stairs step by step. Jeonghan was just about to follow him when he heard a voice from the living room.
"Jeonghan? Is that you?"
"Shit." Jeonghan hissed under his breath. "Yes it's me!" He called back, frozen in his place. Seungcheol, who was a few stairs higher than he was also stopped in his tracks, waiting for Jeonghan to give any possible instructions on what to do next.
"Can you come for a second?" Jeonghan took a deep breath and tried to steady the rapidly beating of his heart. "I'm coming!" He shot a look up at Seungcheol, whispering what to do. "Go to my room, it's upstairs last door on the left. You'll see the name tag on the door."
Before Seungcheol could react Jeonghan already walked back downstairs to face the problems he was about to have with his mother. He set foot in the living room and found his mother seated at the kitchen table, the same place where they fought that morning. The only light in the entire room came from her phone screen, which she was busy typing a message on.
"Where were you?" She didn't bother to look up from her screen while Jeonghan awkwardly stood on the opposite side of the table.
"I was at Jisoo's house." He shortly replied, knowing that there were high possibilities of his mother getting angry again by every unnecessary word he spoke. His mother hummed in response and a silence fell over them, which made Jeonghan feel incredibly uneasy. He kept staring at his mother who was too caught up in her phone to notice anything around her.
"So.. can i go now?" Jeonghan asked, hoping she would let him walk away without getting in trouble. "You're free to go. Just walk away like you always do Jeonghan. I thought I told you this morning I didn't have to see you anymore, didn't I?" Jeonghan felt a wave of sadness rushing over him but tried his best to hide it away from her. "Just know that I'm very disappointed to have someone as egoistic as you as my son."
Jeonghan felt like his feet were tied down to the ground while tears started falling down his cheeks. He knew his mother couldn't see them because the room was barely lit and even if she did, she wouldn't take the effort to care. She never did.
"I know.. I'm sorry." And with that Jeonghan turned around and walked away, slumping up the stairs while he fought to keep his tears inside. He saw the lights in his room were turned on and the door was left ajar, but he didn't want to bother Seungcheol with his sadness. Maybe his mother was right and he really was an egoistic disappointment to people.
He didn't want to hurt Seungcheol with it..
So he pressed his back against a wall and slid down to the ground, burying his head in his knees with his hands over his hair. Silent sobs left his mouth when he cried in the darkness of his hallways corner.
i'm weak.
she's right.
all i do these days is crying.
The thoughts kept replaying in his head while he cried his heart out. Everything inside him hurt so much. So much that it sometimes started hurting physically.
He hadn't even noticed the stroke of light had widened and that Seungcheol came walking in his direction. Everything around him was in a haze and he couldn't hear, see or think straight. Until, in-between all his sorrows, he heard the voice that lit up moments like these. The voice that carried him back to the surface when he felt like he was drowning in his own feelings.
"Come here. I heard your conversation.. You need to rest Hannie."
Jeonghan felt two hands gently grabbing hold of his upper arms and pulling him up. One of his hands sneaked a way around his waist and the other one held him up by his arm. He knew that if Seungcheol didn't held him like that he would sink through his shaking knees and he wouldn't be able to keep himself up. And even though he felt weak to present himself like this to Seungcheol, he stayed. Seungcheol stayed there for him, showing that he cared.
He carried Jeonghan in the room, closed the door and sat him down on the bed. Both boys, unbothered to change clothes, covered themselves with the blanket and lay down.
"Are you coming with me tomorrow?" Seungcheol asked the still crying boy.
Jeonghan furiously nodded, not able to bring out any words between the sobs that kept leaving his lips. He knew one thing for sure. He couldn't stay here any longer.
